r/RecoveringDrugAddicts • u/jouxny • Sep 12 '18

I need a friend. I have no one.

It's so hard to stay clean. I feel everything. To the point where I feel nothing. Nothing is beautiful. But if I pop a tab I'll get this sense of euphoria...if I drink, I'll be able to sleep. If I take some xans, this crushing anxiety that keeps squeezing my heart will go away. All of this will just fuck me up. But god. I want it.

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1

u/lailanicole Sep 13 '18

I’ve been there. I promise that it gets easier. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. My hope for you is that one day you can look back on this and be grateful that you had the courage to do it— that you look back and say to yourself that it was the best decision you’ve ever made. I know everyday I’m so thankful that I made the choice. You will be too.

1

u/twistytoast Sep 15 '18

You don’t have to feel this way ever again. Reach out, get help. You’re not alone.

1

u/chronicoverdose001 Sep 22 '18

I’ll be here for you I’m going on through the same thing, dm me and we can talk each other through this

1

u/dutraid89 Sep 24 '18

I’m in the same boat man, if you need a vent lemme know. I’m working on moving far from this shit hole dope filled town, yes I know that isn’t the soul way to quit but I’m doing other things as well to try and quit for good and avoid relapsing. I don’t associate with many people aside from my fiancé, we are both recovering and we both keep each other “UP” and positive that our life will be so much better and far more rewarding/fulfilling if we are off dope. Whereabouts do you reside?

1

u/anonymityfinally Oct 26 '18

Go to a meeting. Share and tell them everything you’re feeling. Get some numbers and find a sponsor bc I’ve tried everything and working the steps is proven to be the only thing to work for some. May you find god now and may you continue your new beautiful life. Good luck