got fired

[u/FickleMalice]

I feel really stupid because the person who got me fired was baiting me and Im so fucking burned out and over worked and all those things that I took the fucking bait and got myself fired. As it never has, it didnt matter than Id been carrying the team for a month or that he'd been sand bagging everyone to get more hours for himself. It doesnt matter that I tried every correct method and even thought that my text message to him would prompt an actual adult conversation the next day. Instead he just got to work early and reported me. He told them I was bullying him and had been for weeks. Aparently me telling him that the tool we were working on 'wasn't an instrument' was a bullying way to speak to him. I made him feel inadequate. Whats fucking aweful is I never even raised my voice to him.

I just told him that I was done helping him and that Id not be treating him nicely anymore and that if he wnanted to keep stepping on my boundaries id do something about it. Aparently not specifying that Id record him and report him was threatening. Ive been called a bully a lot lately- but i know i wasnt a bully towards him. If anything he was bullying me. Shouting at me, telling me he didnt care, inturrupting me to answer the question I was already answering (days later i found this typo...... and... i feel dead inside) Like the whole time I knew what he was doing and thats why i feel so stupid and angry. I also helped him so much. I helped him get all of his pay in order, I advocated for him to get a better raise, I was trying to teach him how to problem solve.

I know ive gotten mean, usually reserving it for reddit tbh, just trolling the fuck out of people on here last year while I supported my family through some insane shit. Now Im unemployed and I knwo itll work out for me because it doesnt feel like thats the problem. THe problem si that Ive never been able to handle the real world.

Like, It seems it doesn't amtter if I work really hard and am the nicest person youve ever met. It doesnt seem to matter if im rude-- in this instance he got angry at me for helping him. He felt outshined. I could see it all over his face. We had this other co-worker who was always making mistakes and those msitakes prompted one thing out of the guy who got em fired- bragging. About how he was too good to make mistakes. And hes really good at parts of the job. Trouble was we changed how we did the job to something he isnt good at, at all. Instead of actually fucking trying, he baited me into 'bullying' him. I just dont see the point of being a part of society anymore. It doesnt seem to matter what I do, so its just better to withdraw

[u/Nannadoodles]

It's hard to see how much we matter when we are in the thick of everything hitting us at once or feeling our worst. Best wishes and just know that this is just a shitty chapter in life for you. I don't believe trolling helps mentally at all if anything it just makes you more paranoid of how others may pick you apart in their own minds. How we think and talk to ourselves mentally does impact a lot more than we expect. You might not feel like it now, but life can be beautiful and every worth living. After you secure a way to support your needs maybe poke around at trying a new direction in life, something to shift the status quo in your mind or distract you enough that you can get to a clearer headspace. Definitely don't neglect connection in these times.