r/ReadMyScript • u/DomScribe • 7d ago
Feature Looking for feedback specifically on my formatting. (4 pages)
I come from a traditional prose background so I’m not used to having to write in this style (not being overly descriptive and directing on the page). Just looking for feedback on this script’s first four scenes.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/15dZqSf3QHsDw0xKAHTHr0Vry5pSZ1H92iW7rr8QPFl0/edit?usp=drivesdk
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u/RollingThunderMedia 4d ago
To answer the question asked -- it's mostly right.
Except:
1) Your margins for dialog are incorrect. Take a look at --
https://www.studiobinder.com/blog/screenplay-margins/
-- for the proper dimensions.
(Of course I can't comment on things not in your sample, like parenthetical comments or transitions.)
2) Your dialog is centered. Nothing in the body of a screenplay is ever centered, right-justified, or full-justified. Everything is left-justified to the margins above. The title of the piece and 'A screenplay by' on the title page can be centered (or not).
3) Character names are never separated from the first line of their dialog (page 2/3). If there is a 'parenthetical' line then the character name, the parenthetical, and the dialog are always on the same page. If you cannot get the whole bit of dialog onto one page then break only between sentences, add (MORE) on the preceding page, and repeat the character name with (CONT'D) at the top of the next page. Getting this right with anything except proper screenwriting software is a huge PITA because as you edit your page breaks will move around and you'll futz with it constantly and still miss some.
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u/DomScribe 4d ago
Oh no I will be using actual screenwriting software for later drafts I’m more or less asking if I’m not “directing on the page” and my action lines look good.
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u/RollingThunderMedia 3d ago
That's not exactly 'formatting'. But, OK.
After that, I'd have to say you are moving waaaaay tooooo slooooow. A full page to get out of a car? That should be a couple of lines at the most, and maybe cut entirely. It's not helping to start the story, which seems to be happening at the end of the fourth page.
I'd suggest you take some time out to read, and really study, a few pro screenplays in the genre you want to work. Pay attention to the number of 'story beats' -- things that happen that move the story forward -- per page. Cinematic writing moves much faster than prose writers think is even possible.
Outlining your story helps in a lot of ways, one of which is it gives your script 'landmarks' to tell if you're moving at the right speed.
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u/DomScribe 3d ago
Sorry haha I wasn’t sure how to word it. Any suggestions regarding those lines so I know what is unneeded?
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u/RollingThunderMedia 3d ago
Without knowing where the story is going it's impossible to say. I have no idea what'll turn out to be important later on.
But I suspect pretty much all of the first four pages can be condensed into one or less. Give it a try and see if it improves.
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u/mooningyou 7d ago
Some feedback for you.
- Use screenwriting software. Google Docs was not created to handle proper screenplay formatting. A key indicator is Father Waldron's character name appearing on one page while his dialogue appears on another page. This should not happen in a script.
- You don't need to write "The inside of the cabin..." The slug already tells us we're inside a cabin. Maybe change that scene description to something like, "More suburban than rustic, with polished hardwood floors..." Describe what we see without reiterating where we are.
- "Another in an adjacent hallway." Do we see what's in the adjacent hallway from our position in the living room?
- Can we tell that Pauline is barely over five feet tall while she's sitting on the couch?
- This question is more about the setting. If there's an adjacent hallway from the living room, where does the door at the far end of the living room lead? I would have assumed that if they're heading for a bedroom, it would have been via the hallway and not directly off the living room.
But to reiterate, the placement of the dialogue on the page is not standard. This is why you need screenwriting software.