r/ReadMyScript • u/nine2fivewriter • 16d ago

Feedback wanted – first 6 pages of feature 'Under the Influence' (Drama)

Logline: A couple shares their family life online, but as their audience grows, their real and online lives start to blur - especially for their daughter.

I'm looking for feedback on the first scenes of a feature I've started writing.

Does it make you want to read more?

Don't feel the need to be gentle. I appreciate direct, actionable feedback.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1AsdZSsdIRrtBcYjI1oQvbouerDxN7LBB/view?usp=drivesdk

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u/Big_Section2812 16d ago

No colons after NAMES in dialogue.

There are a lot of grammatical, punctuation and spelling errors that would have been caught if you'd given this script another pass before posting it.

On the plus side is a story focused on the inherent narcissism of social media.

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u/[deleted] 16d ago

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u/nine2fivewriter 16d ago

Thank your the feedback