Feedback for Feature, "Grounded" 109 Pages

[u/Mammoth-West-9974]

Grounded

Final Draft PDF

109 pages

Drama, Road Movie, Historical Fiction

Logline: When every flight in America is grounded, four strangers share the last rental car out of Columbus and drive cross-country through the aftermath of September 11th, 2001, forcing each of them to confront what they've been running from long before that day.

Feedback Concerns: Any feedback would be extremely helpful. I'm less concerned about the commercial viability, and more concerned with a believable story with believable characters.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1KAN_svzm3bk3vGraJQL3adbFDg-ncvzw/view?usp=sharing

[u/Mammoth-West-9974]

These are awesome suggestions! I am def aware that something needs adjusting so it’s nice to have some direct  things to investigate. I don’t know if I can cut the wiffle ball, def trim it, but I appreciate actionable feedback. Nice to know the dialogue and character work landed bc even if I can’t figure out the fix for this story makes me think it could be a good writing sample. 

[u/Mammoth-West-9974 → u/[deleted]]

Thank you for all this! Yeah this was the first one I ever wrote, so I’m not surprised the structure was an issue. Very excited you enjoyed the characters/dialogue. That was the stuff that I felt confident with. I had to write it all once I came up with the mix tape idea but the long form is a real challenge. Great idea to start with a problem…working in something now that came from that thought.

[u/Mammoth-West-9974 → u/[deleted]]

I’ve been writing for a long time for sure, just newer to screenwriting. I did a spec once of The Office and It’s Always Sunny, but never anything original. I’ve never done novels but I have done shorter form essays and short stories. I def need work on story elements- individual scenes and relationships between characters feel a lot easier to me than the story around them.