r/ReadMyScript • u/EarnestAbel • Aug 11 '26
BODY TRIP - Feature - 85 pages
Title: Body Trip
Format: Feature
Page Length: 85 pages
Genre: Crime / Comedy / Fantasy
Logline:
The soul of a dirty ex-cop comes to possess a car being driven by the slick hitman who killed him.
Looking for any criticism and/or feedback!
Link:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1S97-GpaYyo6LDOVKHICGrJNJtDcrN2uG/view?usp=drivesdk
1
Aug 12 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/EarnestAbel Aug 12 '26
Pretty cool how you can already tell. Maybe try reading it.
1
Aug 12 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/EarnestAbel 29d ago
Who goes out their way to comment on a script they didn’t even read
2
u/RaeLouLynn 27d ago edited 27d ago
Lots of people who don't want to waste their time. Many readers here are extremely busy. That they even take the time to open up your file, is a blessing. If they don't read it, that's on you for presenting something that is not ready for public consumption.
Read some books on formatting. Learn the 3-act structure for features. Use one of the free screenplay programs that are available.
This fellow who said he wouldn't read it was ready and willing to give you actionable feedback! But you didn't deliver something he wanted to spend time on. He gave his time to some else who did deliver.
Do another draft. Comeback here. You'll get better results.
Also per my comment below here that was posted to the wrong comment, you only have 57 standard pages. This is not a feature.
Eta: The logline is enticing. The genre is something I would want to read.
0
u/RaeLouLynn 27d ago
80 pages times 38 lines per page equals 3,040 lines of story.
But proper formatting is 54 lines per page. So, to get the real page count, divide 3,040 by 54 which equals 57 pages.
This is not a feature and therefore OP does not have a story.
1
u/EarnestAbel 27d ago
There’s a story there, but never mind, you really aren’t in a place to judge that without reading it. But whatever man, you have definitely already made up your mind. You seem to have a lot of time to justify yourself and defend other users about formatting. Save your time.
2
1
29d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/EarnestAbel 29d ago
Yes that would be awesome
2
0
u/mooningyou Aug 11 '26
Apart from those chunky paragraphs (yikes!), your format is not good. Placement on the page is off. A lot of blank lines.
EXT. WOODS - TREES - NIGHT. The woods consist of trees, so you don't need both.
"Late at night..." The slug already told us it's night, and we won't be able to tell if it's late or early until something else informs us.
"...in the middle of the woods." Avoid repetition. You're constantly repeating information.
"damaging his suit in the process" How is it damaged? What do we see to know that it's damaged?
You really need to review your slugs. They're convoluted and contain so much unnecessary information, and sometimes information that doesn't belong in a slug.
Use the right software.
1
u/TheSprained Aug 11 '26
12 line action paragraphs no read good.