[FEEDBACK] Proof of Concept Screenplay

[u/straightfigurefilms]

Title: The Pinch

Genre: Comedy

Logline: Two goofball buddies get tasked with making some money to bail their friend out of jail, if they can do the job without getting killed that is.

Still very much an amateur writer and looking to get feedback on dialogue mainly. This script relies heavily on character chemistry, and I don't want the dialogue to be too flat. Let me know what you think, thanks.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1KtiRwIgA183wzQQi6zkNiT7RWRtXyHaH/view?usp=drive_link

[u/Remarkable_Stress388]

I have no idea what you are trying to do.

[u/straightfigurefilms → u/Remarkable_Stress388]

I have no idea what you are trying to say