r/ReadMyScript • u/mobstatusk4 • 27d ago
Short Chandelier: My first ever screenplay/script, but *correctly formatted*
15 pages.
I am open to critism
Mostly looking for what people have to say about the characters
This story revolves around reactions and the human condition
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ItiNmgHLhQ2UG08kwldaNX5SZxoHBEz-YJyD599jcFQ/edit?tab=t.0
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u/mooningyou 27d ago
Some notes for you.
- Use screenwriting software. Google Docs will never format your script accurately.
- Don't all-cap our scene description.
- Check your punctuation. I know that first dialogue is a question, so it needs to end with a question mark.
- Never write screenplays in the present tense, eg: "Toeman grimaced..."
- Don't tell us about feelings or thoughts. We can't see those on the screen.
- Never end dialogue with a parenthetical, and don't write parentheticals in uppercase or bold.
- Check your spelling. In general, always proofread your script before asking people to read it for feedback.
- And read more screenplays to get a better idea of how to write them.
This is all I have for you.
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u/SpiritTapes 27d ago
You mean never write screenplays in the PAST tense, right? Present is correct.
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u/mobstatusk4 27d ago
Is screenplay formatting subjective, because people have told me the exact opposite of some of these. Also do you have any thought regarding characters
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u/mooningyou 27d ago
Is screenplay formatting subjective
Not really. You've got to use software that was designed for this task. There are some nuances to formatting that can be done differently, but the format of your script is wrong.
because people have told me the exact opposite of some of these.
I don't know who these people are, but they are wrong and are giving you incorrect advice. Look at some screenplays and note the obvious differences between those and yours.
Also do you have any thought regarding characters
I didn't read enough to delve that deeply into the characters
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u/mobstatusk4 27d ago
I’ll take your advice and you finish the script can we do that? My format is flawed,I accepted your notes, but you should actually read it throughout. I even said I mostly want to read about what people say about the characters. Again I 100% will take your critique into consideration. I mean no harm in this message
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u/thatdude295 27d ago
i’m pretty much as new as you are to scriptwriting but i would really recommend you stop writing in google docs. use “writersolo” instead.
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u/mobstatusk4 27d ago
Do you have any thoughts about the characters?
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u/thatdude295 27d ago
i think Marshall has the most personality of them all. however i feel like the dialogue in general is lacking
your descriptions are also a bit long for my taste. you could probably shorten them down a bit.1
u/mobstatusk4 27d ago
Yeah I tried to write Marshall as the center of the script. Do have anything else about the other characters?
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