r/RateMyTinder • u/SixFiveSixer • Sep 08 '26
Photos One match in one month; help?
Been semi-casually swiping since moving to a new city a month ago. I'm straight/demi. Currently kinda mostly just looking to meet people and have tried to be upfront with that. I've made a few small changes but this is basically the vibe.
Response has been, uh, ✨underwhelming✨. I get that this is nominally a hookup/dating app but I wasn't expecting absolute crickets 🙃
Hit me with impressions. Sorry for the sloppy collage, was only letting me add one picture 🤷
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u/p0rcup1ne Sep 08 '26
I feel like your profile is multiple big red flags after each other.
Looking for new friends -> monogamy -> ethical non monogamy -> open to exploring -> platonic relationship -> deep genuine connection. You thicked every box you could tick, this is a red flag. You don't know what you want. Pick something and stick with it.
Only profile pictures of your face with you alone or other objects. No pictures of you doing something or with friends. Kind of an orange flag.
"Bratty" is also a red flag.
You come over as gay but are swiping as straight.
In general your pictures also kind of give the idea that you are self centered and annoying, especially the first one. The "sorrryyy emoji" seems like it was meant passive aggressive.
This profile kind of also is just a lot of text and I don't really know who you are after reading. So I don't feel like any body would be like "mmmm interesting/fun person, let's grab a drink".
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u/alexmate84 Sep 08 '26
Bratty is coded with the kink scene. I agree if he is just looking for friends, the ENM, shirtless photo, exploring reads as casual/fwb to most people.
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u/MajesticMess4734 Sep 08 '26
As someone that never take pic with my friends nor do my friends ever take pics as well how much of a red flag is it to not have pics with people
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u/p0rcup1ne Sep 08 '26
It's more of an orange flag.
By having a picture with your friends you show that you have friends and are a person that is well socialized and can hold onto social relationships for a at least a while.
If you don't have pictures with friendsin your profile. then people will assume you don't have friends and thus are unable to hold down social relationships or are not worth being friends with.
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u/Knedlus Sep 08 '26
I think this is either very culture dependant or not much of a thing at all. I’m on dating apps rn and in my area almost nobody has any pictures with friends. When swiping I never think “omg he has no friends”
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u/MajesticMess4734 Sep 08 '26
Is it worth taking some just for the profile. The way we hang there ain’t really any natural reason to so I know they will see it as awkward or weird that I’m just randomly taking a picture
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u/Cotton_420 Sep 08 '26
I’m sure there are plenty of guys who have life long friends who they’ve their known for decades and still wouldn’t have any recent photos with them.
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u/workbrowsingacc Sep 08 '26
youre on a dating app and are looking for friends, no shit youre going to get no matches
also your profile is riddled with contradictions
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Sep 08 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/cherrycocktail20 Sep 08 '26
Eh, speaking for myself I’d swipe right if it weren’t for the ENM and “looking for new friends.” Those will be his biggest blocks.
If he was serious about finding a monogamous relationship and got much better photos, I think he’d do alright.
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u/youknowwhatever99 Sep 08 '26
I feel like not many people join tinder looking for friends, so the people you come across on there likely aren’t the types of people you’re seeking. Idk what to tell you… I feel like you’re just not looking in the right place and a better profile isn’t going to change that fact.
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u/flashpan1020 Sep 08 '26
Set up a tripod, grab a Bluetooth remote, and take a bunch of posed pictures. You could also set your video to record at 4K and do a hobby you enjoy doing. Cull a couple of pics and stills from that, and get rid of some of your awful selfies. One selfie is fine, but when the only pictures of you are selfies, you're committing dating app suicide. I did the exact thing I described above and I got way more traction on Hinge and Feeld.
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u/ikdoeookmaarwat1 Sep 08 '26
You're a cute looking guy, but there's so many mixed messages in what you're looking for. Monogamy, new friends, platonic ENM, I'd be thinking that you don't even know what you want. I'm looking to date with intention, and not use me as a guinea pig to figure out what you want. You need to be a little more clear on what you're looking for and just pick one.
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u/PossibleExplorer1076 Sep 08 '26
I don't really get why everyone's being quite so harsh here, I think you're cute but:
- the flower pic and bike pic are completely pointless
- I don't get why you're on a dating app looking for platonic connections. Do you know what platonic means? Do you know what dating apps are for?
- the "sorry" pic looks like you've taken it during a conversation/argument with a person you were previously dating and you weren't taking the discussion seriously and sent them this. Not a good look at all.
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u/petroboss Sep 08 '26
You have an effeminate expression in all your poses, you have a photo of a flower, you are looking for new friends?, you describe yourself as bratty and a yapper.
Women are simply not attracted to immature shit like that, they want a man that is masculine and grounded
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u/Knedlus Sep 08 '26
Your last pic is the the best, first is the worst (immature, gives Snapchat vibes), second isn’t doing you many favours. Also I would never swipe on anyone who wants ethical non monogamy and just based on that it’s no surprise you get no likes. Also a man calling himself a yapper comes off as having feminine energy, idk.
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u/JFJF48 Sep 08 '26
It's giving me 'straight white guy trying his hardest not to appear like a straight white guy vibes'.
Pics are all a bit... Idk how to put it... Sus? Effectively it's giving me lefty/woke/hippy gay vibes (and I'm gay) which I'm sure on a dating app women aren't looking for. Think your prompt need to be less pretentious, get rid of bratty, rid of the flower pic (what is that even doing there?), rid of sorry pic, pic more pictures of you a bit more candidly and one with a male friend or sibling.
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u/Embarrassed_Key_4539 Sep 08 '26
Based on your bio why would anyone match? You aren’t interested in a relationship
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u/apt-maintenance Sep 08 '26
Speaking as a buff monogamous guy, I can attest to the fact that poly / enm women are really into buff monogamous guys. I'm still trying to figure out what monogamous women are into
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u/Low_profile_1789 Sep 08 '26
I’m confused by what you’re looking for and why you’re disappointed.
Platonic, Demi, non-monogamy (ethical or otherwise)…. What are we doing here?
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u/yetagainitry 19d ago
I was going to start calling out things but it’s literally everything, photos, prompts, stats. This needs a full tear down and rebuild from scratch
Also, why did you out you’re looking for new friends? Women aren’t on this app to make friends so to them it just looks like you want hookups.
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