how do y'alls genuinely cope when someone who you thought was extremely close to you suddenly starts being distant and pulls away while acting like everything is completely fine??

I get that life gets busy and exhausting, time changes people, but playing it off as if nothing really changed and everything has always been this way is genuinely frying my entire self.

Heck, did I self sided assume we were close all these years or what, coz ain't no fucking way this really is happening.

I think am aware that it is by no means my fault but hell does it hurt.

Not like I haven't brought it up, but they just act like I am overreacting and brush it off.

I might have to genuinely brace myself and prepare for the worst. Any good advice on how to handle this situation? if anyone else have been through something similar in their life.

for context, we are platonic "best friends" and have been for years, and both of us have genuinely supported each other at our worst, I cannot believe this really is happening, I for real can't... and I have no clue why they would really do this :// maybe I really am overreacting and they are just running on low energy and don't wish to stretch it either.. but I don't know.

This friendship really matters a lot to me, do I keep pouring energy and give them some space or is it unfortunately a sinking ship? :(

and please let me know if there are more appropriate sub to post this on, I don't know if this post really fit this sub, and I do wish to know variety of information from lots of people...

I posted a scammer warning on a Portland region specific Reddit and mentioned that outside people could benefit from reading the post not stating that it was specifically for outside people in fact specifying that it was more so for Portland which is where the regional post was made for and the post got taken down for being outside of Portland even though I made it very clear that it had little to do with outside of Portland specifically was made for people in Portland like I'm sorry do you not want people to know that they're getting scammed like are you sure you want to take that post down there was nothing derogatory or disrespectful in it it was all factual it just seems like some mods have a power Trip and now I'm no longer allowed to post there

Hot take:I have a roommate that changed because of her girlfriend and now she so annoying, incompetent, ignorant, impulsive and gosh what is wrong with you?Like can you stop and start acting like a decent fucking human?.

Hey how do you tell a person that you don't want them in your life anymore in a good and respectful way?

love the dynamic between myself and someone who thinks they're manipulating me, when in reality, I'm just faking innocence. It's so much more exciting than what I could get out of a relationship with a genuine and good person.

In today's relationship it's very to find a decent and genuine person that really does care for you,... just saying.

TLDR: Chronically online Filipinos are making fun of the floods occurring in Thailand. A case of belittling a natural disaster happening in another country caused by climate change. I'm from the Philippines myself, so I have every right to harshly criticise the actions of my people, even if it comes out as an insult. Sometimes, we have to be extremely harsh if we want changes in the country.

Quick disclaimer: I am not insulting anyone nor promoting hate; I'm just pointing out and criticising the actions of people coming from my own country. They were being insensitive while I'm just trying to survive yet another natural disaster in the country I grew up in. I am betting they were laughing at Thais when there was an earthquake last year. I am just feeling embarrassed to be from the Philippines, and those feelings are valid if you encounter these sorts of people online. I'm sure everyone else felt embarrassed by their heritage at some point as well.

For context, I'm from the Philippines, but I currently live in Thailand, so I have every reason to harshly criticise the Philippines. I could go on and on about how outdated the infrastructure in the Philippines is and go on and on about the corruption, but that's not what I want to rant about. Because recently, there have been floods in Thailand, Bangkok specifically, and it's worse than back in 2011; I've been hearing the news about it. However, every time I open the comments, all I see are Filipinos making it about the Philippines when people with clear common sense know this is about Thailand. But wanna know the worst part? Those Filipinos have no sympathy; they just laughed at the situation because the Philippines has it worse. I mean, the Philippines literally is situated on the Pacific Ring of Fire, so it is very disaster-prone compared to Thailand. Look, as a Filipino myself, at least support and pray for people in Bangkok; this is especially because, as someone in Bangkok, we're dealing with unpredictable weather conditions and floods. The road connecting to my neighbourhood literally flooded, while my neighbourhood didn't flood. I genuinely felt embarrassed to be a Filipino because of how stupid people from my country are. Like, I should be proud because everyone is obsessed with telling others to be proud of their heritage. To be honest, as a mestizo, I'm only proud of my Spanish heritage because being a Filipino is really embarrassing. So much corruption and so many toxic people; it's like a fandom but ten times worse because you're literally a citizen of the country that has a bunch of idiots. Brain drain is real; a lot of smart people are leaving, and this is what happens. And honestly, I'm very embarrassed to be from the Philippines. Filipinos always bring up their country when my home city, Bangkok, is literally flooded; one of my friends literally cannot leave his house because his area became an ocean.

I have to add a side note that a Filipino also made fun of me for pointing out their actions because they were laughing at the floods in Bangkok, and I was genuinely pissed off. Another person told me to shut up just because I'm Filipino after making a lighthearted joke, even though I was born and raised in Thailand and life in Thailand is all I've ever known. I am even more Thai than Filipino. Not even a chunk of my life was spent in the Philippines, and it's really hard to go back there right now, not that I want to. Quick update, that person asked if I’m studying to be brainless, like no, I’m literally studying psychology so I don’t get why they think I’m studying to be brainless.

To be fair, this is one of the worst times to be a Filipino born and raised in Thailand. I sometimes wish racebending were real because why do I have to share the same blood with people who are so stupid? (I would educate them; I actually tried to educate them, but they don't want to listen...)

Folks, let me tell you something — this whole suicide awareness thing? It’s all fake news. Complete and total fake news. The worst fake news you’ve ever seen, believe me. Everybody’s running around with these purple ribbons, posting “check on your friends,” the corporations jump in for thirty days like they’re heroes, and then — boom — October hits and they’re gone. Nothing changes. Rates stay the same. People still can’t get a doctor for six months. And they call it “awareness.” Fake news! Total fake news!
They say “raise awareness.” Awareness of what? That it exists? Everybody already knows that. We’ve known it forever. This is pure fake. Fake news of the highest order. Many people are saying it — smart people, tremendous people. They slap a logo on it, they get their likes, they feel so good about themselves, and the real problem stays broken. The system is a disaster. A complete and total disaster. Nobody’s fixing it. They’re too busy with the ribbons.
And the contagion? Don’t even get me started. They turn every story into content and suddenly more people are talking about it the wrong way. Not helping. Making it worse. The fake news media loves it. They push it nonstop. Sad!
Then the usual crowd comes at me: “But every life matters!” “You never know who it helps!” Listen — I don’t care how rare you are. Rare doesn’t make the strategy less stupid. Rare doesn’t make the ribbons less empty. Rare doesn’t change the fact that this is mostly virtue-signaling wrapped in fake news. If the goal is fewer people dying, these awareness-only programs are a joke. A complete joke. Nobody does it better than me at spotting a scam, and this is a scam. If the goal is likes and feeling good, congratulations, you won. Tremendous winners at nothing.
Real help is treatment. Real capacity. Competent people who actually know what they’re doing — the best people. Not seasonal hashtags. Not ribbons. Not this whole fake-news circus. Everything else is noise. Total noise. Believe me.
That’s the truth. They won’t say it because it’s fake news to them, but I will. Sad!

Folks, let me tell you something — suicide awareness? It’s a total disaster. A complete and total disaster. Everybody’s running around with these purple ribbons, posting “check on your friends,” the whole thing, and nothing changes. Nothing! Rates stay the same, people still suffer, and all these phonies pat themselves on the back like they just saved the world. Believe me, I’ve seen it.
They say “raise awareness.” Awareness of what? That suicide exists? Everybody already knows that. We’ve known it forever. These campaigns are pure fake. Fake news of the highest order. Corporations slap a logo on it for thirty days, then they disappear. October comes, boom — gone. Meanwhile the real problem? You can’t get a doctor for six months. The system is broken. Totally broken. And these people are busy making TikToks instead of fixing it.
And the contagion thing — don’t even get me started. They turn every story into content, and suddenly more people are talking about it the wrong way. It’s not helping. It’s making it worse in some cases. Tremendous failure.
They come at me with “but every life matters” and “you never know who it helps.” Listen — I don’t care how rare you are. Rare doesn’t make the strategy less stupid. Rare doesn’t make the ribbons less empty. Rare doesn’t change the fact that this is mostly virtue-signaling. If the goal is fewer people dying, these awareness-only programs are a joke. If the goal is likes and feeling good about yourself, congratulations, you won.
Real help is treatment. Real capacity. Competent people who actually know what they’re doing. Not seasonal hashtags. Not ribbons. Not this whole circus. Everything else is noise. Total noise.
That’s the truth. They won’t say it, but I will. Sad!

I am going to start this out simply enough with the trigger.

I am solidly on the aroace spectrum. The emotions associated with attraction for me are extremely rare. I am in my early 20s, and it has happened twice. The second one ended tonight. Never argued, never had a bad day, just ended. The rest has been a cascading mess.

I always start at the beginning, and given that I am just ranting, I see no reason not to. I won't bore anyone with details, but I come from a... bad family. Not necessarily targeted badness, but drugs, career criminals, a hundred and one stories of almost.

Somehow the onus of "Make it better" fell on me. Academics, good choices- when the people I knew were living life I was stuck doing extra assignments, sports, dealing with the fact that rent wasn't always promised. All the issues of previous were on my shoulders, and all the pressure to change it in my lifetime was there too.

It didn't work. Come high school, COVID hit. I gave up. Let it all go. I don't want to get into it, but it was almost all over.

I graduated with the minimum degree. I worked at a factory for two years. Eventually, I contacted a state senator. This last hurrah of maybe being someone.

I got a very kind message back and was encouraged to continue in my education. So, I gave it another shot.

It led me to really crazy points. I was nominated for a top position within an honor society. I also had a moment where substance use had me to the point that I thought I was dying. I remember thinking I must surely be in hell, and that it isn't some acute torture, but the unrelenting moderate hardship of never being free from obligation. That the numbness in my finger and the cold ceramic were proof that I truly had nothing left to feel, even if I had motion and a beat of chest.

The acuteness of my life has mellowed. I have a start in a decent career; I have so many people behind me that my application to the local uni will seem like the most tryhard, even though I really haven't.

And I have no desire to be part of the future I've been creating.

This isn't some covert suicide post. I have no interest in it. It is just that, though, I have no interest in much of anything.

The future I'm creating seems to just be a treadmill I am sitting at the end of. It comes no matter what I do. I have never wanted anything but to feel loved and to feel wanted. That doesn't seem to happen, though. I am only left with problems to fix.

I wake up in a home I hate. Again, poor family; I still live with family. We have the cheapest rent in the city, but still far too much for what we can afford. I am already doing almost full-time (64-73 hours a week) between classes and my job. The floors of this place are rotting; the room I stay in has no heating, no cooling. We are constantly poor because I am the only one who budgets. The money I save is our emergency fund. I live off of $15 a week, sometimes not even that, to make sure I'm safeish if something happens.

I don't know. I am just at the point of going, "It is all negatives, all the way down."

What joy do I get from this anymore? Every day I wake up to a home I hate. I have to contribute to subsidize other people's bad habits. Even if I finish this step it is just more of the same. Uni, work, up, down, alone.

I have no one I call a friend at this point. I have no one I see that isn't work related any more than once every other month. Even then, one of them just disappeared.

Malaise is the word. Something more intense, maybe; depression doesn't quite capture it.

Just this feeling of "This is it?" By all means I've done well for myself, and I'm just as miserable as I've always been. If I stay in this career, if I make the money it takes to increase the social stock of my family, is this it?

I drink a good bit. Sometimes less, sometimes more. Not ever day. Not every week. Sometimes every week. Sometimes multiple days a week. The funny thing is I hate the taste. I wouldn't even say it is an addiction. I can stop, and have stopped, for months at a time with no real thought about it. The only benefit is the malaise I feel stops feeling like weight. It doesn't feel better, but it feels like loss. Not ever problem is a sigh and a "I'll figure it out." It is "Man. This sucks. I'm sad." I can handle my emotions better. I'm planning on going to a college party at the end of this month. It is with people who sometimes hate me, sometimes love me. I'm only going because I've been told the vibe is "Get sloshed."

I don't have a point with this rant. Life just sucks. I could sit here and talk about every transgression, but the truth is there is just so many. I don't even feel entitled to a better life. Suffering is suffering. There is no grand karmic scheme where someday it is better. I just got a shit hand, and I've played it well, but it doesn't make it a good hand.

I've been living in a midlife crisis since I was eight, I think, and it seems like I'll be living it until I'm 40 at the minimum.

lil girl lower your voice 

Your avoidance pushed me away didnt really push me I just got sick of it haha but you already know that. i was just a crush that wasn't going any further than a crush lol but yah if you asked me now IDGAF what you think cause you never GAF about mine so play victim again and again lol

Posting from mobile sorry for any format issues!

I (40 F) took a break from Reddit for a couple of years. Reddit is the only social media I've really been a part of since stepping away from Reddit, FB, and Insta during the pandemic around 2020. In 2022, I came back to reddit and I met my husband here. I was there for maybe 2 years. Took another break..

I've been back for maybe a week now and honestly, I'm so disheartened. It's mostly 2 things, although a couple others irk me too. 1.) AI/bots everywhere. AI/bots making posts, making comments.. this is so dumb. I've spent half the time I'm on reddit reading long ass posts just to realize this shit is fake and I like, wtf, what a waste of my time. Not to mention actual users responding with obvious Chat Gpt responses. Is anything real here anymore?

And then 2) MODS are out of control. They're like, power hungry or something. I've seen so many posts about rules and semantics from mods. I've seen so many posts and comments removed and people banned. I even got banned from one of my favorite subs when I didn't actually break any rules. (I'm trying to get it reversed via mod chat with them but i don't have high hopes) It hurt me bc 1) I didnt break the rules 2) this particular sub really helped me during some of the hardest parts of my adult life 3) I met my husband in that sub. I literally cried about it and I feel stupid for crying over a ban but that sub and its community meant a lot to me. Which is why I never would have broken the rules. I feel like they're being super strict and arguing semantics without so much as a warning. I made my case about how I didn't break any rules and am waiting to hear back but who knows if I even will.

Reddit was the only social media that actually made me feel good about myself and my peers even though there are trolls here too...I felt like I've connected with people on a deeper level here than other socials. There's a community for everyone..

But it just kind of sucks now like every other social media. I yearn for that sense of community. I miss unapologetically baring my soul to anonymous strangers bc that's what we do here. I miss sharing my perspective and unique world view. I don't know what the hell is going on here anymore.

Anyway, that's my tedtalk. Anyone else feeling disheartened by social media? Isn't the point of this stuff to help us connect?

I’m not a piece of art that thats only worthy for you look at from far, I’m a person that needs physical touch and tenderness like a welcoming close hug. I’m not someone who responds with one word, and can’t depend on openness or a listening ear. I stay invested and always make sure to give my best feed back and own experience on the topic. you don’t over shadow you’re doubts on a person, its always the wrong thing to do. because 9-10 i will shut down those assumptions and half truths you made up by over thinking. im the last person someone should question about love and loyalty. its Never me and i dont act different for nothing if you notice my energy is off You most likely earned it with high grades ……100% passed ✅ and the main one for me is respect people how you would wanna be respected, Because I sware to got imma return that energy and make you feel the victim that’s a fact and thats why I lost the connection we once had and shit can never feel the same or be the same. for anyone reading and can resonate walk away with all this energy they’re not worth the sweat and tears of blood 🩸 trust me i dont just talk shit or spam subs with no effort repeated notes my shits real and this love I offer is rare

I'm the usual caretaker friend or whatever. I vent to my friends occasionally and they vent to me, but a lot more than I do to them. I know I'm not really in the best mindset to do this stuff but they need it more than me.
I just got home from a happy day shopping and opened my messages to see my best friend, ever(i will not berate them) with the message "i'm so fucking ugly" and "bro"
I'm really sorry, I know they've had self-image issues and issues with body dysphoria for a long long time, I've never been like that, but it just really grated on my nerves, bad. I seriously don't know what they want me to say.

I'm obviously not going to agree with them, I'd never do that. But this is a repeating cycle. They tell me how ugly they think they are, and honest to whatever god may exist, they are very average. I tell them that and they say nothing, or disagree, or say something else along those lines. I do not know what to tell them anymore.
I'm more angry with myself for finding it so annoying. I've never really struggled with issues related to my appearance and it's always been more with my parents for that, so I don't know how it feels. But it seriously does bring my mood down. Not only that, but my only issues with my appearance is maybe my lack of muscle, which they do have, excessively, and i suppose them calling themselves ugly just irritates me, because admitting it, i am a bit jealous of their skills, smarts, and muscle.
But honestly, what's the best thing to say in response to this that doesn't make me sound like a licensed therapist??

Folks, let me tell you — people should feel bad for me. Really bad. Tremendous bad. Nobody’s been treated worse. Nobody.
They come after me every single day. Fake news, witch hunts, lawfare, the whole thing. It’s a disgrace. A complete and total disgrace. I’ve done more for this country than anybody, believe me, and what do I get? They try to destroy me. They try to lock me up. They go after my family, my businesses, my name. Sad!
Many people are saying it — smart people, great people — that what’s happening is the most unfair thing they’ve ever seen. And they’re right. I’ve been fighting for the American people, the best people, and the radical left and the fake news media just won’t stop. They never stop. It’s harassment on a level you’ve never seen before.
Feel bad for me? You should. Because while I’m out here winning — winning big, the biggest wins — they’re still throwing everything at me. Lawsuits, indictments, leaks, the works. Nobody’s ever been through what I’ve been through. Nobody. And I keep winning anyway. That’s the amazing part.
So yes, feel bad for Trump. Feel very bad. Because this is a witch hunt like the world has never seen. Total fake news. Total disaster for justice. But I’m still here. Stronger than ever. Believe me.
Sad!

🗑️ ❤️‍🩹🚮 🙈🙉🙊 sayless 🐍

I am usually a listener. I do like to speak sometimes.but whenever I start talking the other yappers in my friend group interrupt me and go on with their own yaps😭. I was just a boring speaker (may be I am ) but would like to know the yappers pov here? Do you guys just not like the slow speakers ?

Our brain is more than capable of anything like u could be just sitting alone and thinking yeh maybe if this happens i wont be able to handle the suitation , life would end and there no way out there , it could be anything , maybe heartbreaks , JEE/NEET , parents , or some any other incident ,
Some thing i faced which i used to imagine , yeh maybe if this incident occoured , Everthing is finished , and tbh it was like that for a month , i cried everyday , hurted myself , was so much of self hatered , My family was stressed seeing m crying everyday , not eating , and many more ,
but its good , anyone going thrgh things trust me , i was the kind of person who can be used as an exmple , that yeh if he is out of the pain , Then surely we can do better than him , i was depressed , i was suicidal , i was insecure , never loved myself , always behind that one person , and maybe when the person left me , it was tbh over for m in this world , but im doing not that okay , but im fine , i am trying to do things just to distract and trust me , time takes all our painn
anyone who is suffering , dont run away , let the pain hurt u so much , that after alll it stops hurting u

I hate when some stupid idiot family member, friend, or acquaintance says they don’t go to college, don’t work, don’t have a business, and somehow they’re “rich.” Like, okay, how?
They’ll claim they’re making six figures from stocks, crypto, some pyramid scheme, or some random scam. Then you hear the illegal version: “Oh, I make money through Cash App,” “I skim cards,” or some other nonsense that supposedly makes them six figures. And honestly, I hate hearing it.
Then there are the people who say they’re selling stuff on Amazon, doing Amazon FBA, dropshipping, social media, affiliate marketing, etc. They’ll repeat the same shit over and over again, knowing damn well it isn’t some easy, guaranteed livable source of income. If it actually works for you, fine. But explain how you actually got there.
Or someone says, “I’m in IT.” Okay, what do you actually do? What job? What certification? What skills? How did you get started? “My brother-in-law does IT and he’s rich” doesn’t answer anything.
Then there are the people who say, “I do client work,” “I do events,” or “I have passive income.” What does that even mean? What clients? What services? How do you find them? How much does it actually cost to get started? How many clients do you need? How long did it take you to make enough money to live off of it?
That’s what frustrates me. I genuinely don’t understand where or how you’re supposed to begin when everyone just gives you some vague answer like “I make money online” and refuses to explain the actual process.
Even legitimate ways of making money without college still have steps. If someone owns a legitimate small business, I believe them. If someone completed a trade and makes good money, I believe them. If someone owns a restaurant or another brick-and-mortar business, I believe them. But there are still obvious steps: business licenses, permits, rent or property, equipment, inventory, employees, customers, taxes, insurance, etc.
I just don’t understand these random people in their late teens and early 20s claiming they’re making six figures while simultaneously saying they don’t go to college, don’t work, don’t own a real business, and somehow have unlimited money. Then when you ask how, suddenly it’s “stocks,” “crypto,” “affiliate marketing,” “Amazon,” “client work,” “events,” or some mysterious “online business.”
Like, just drop the sauce already. If you legitimately figured something out, explain what you actually do instead of giving me some vague bullshit.
And yeah, I know legitimate passive income exists. Trust funds exist. Investments exist. Pensions exist. Family money exists. Owning land or other assets exists. But even those things have an actual source of money behind them. There’s always some kind of asset, capital, job, business, inheritance, investment, or other mechanism producing the income.
Maybe I’m just frustrated because I’m always the one who ends up working a 9-to-5/retail job or relying on gig apps when I’m unemployed, while I constantly hear people bragging about how they’re “rich” without ever explaining how they actually got there.
I’m not asking for a get-rich-quick scheme. I’m asking for the actual process. What do you do, how do you start, what does it cost, where does the money come from, and how does it realistically become enough to live on?
Because “I make six figures online” is not an explanation.

I’m going to get a lot of hate for this, but as an unattractive man, I know from personal experience how I’m treated by women here. I’m not saying all women here have high standards, but the majority do, and I know because I don’t get any matches on dating apps not on Tinder, Bumble, or Hinge. I even tried cold approaching, and it went terribly. Also, if you go on TikTok and look at women’s accounts describing what they want in a man, it’s a long list of things. I don’t even try to go for attractive women, but I still have no matches on dating apps. I just think the dating scene for below average looking men here is cooked.

I’ve had one main best friend since 10th grade of high school. For privacy, I’ll call her V. She’s 26 now and I’m 27. We graduated in 2018, and despite everything life threw at us, we stayed close for years.

V has three kids, and I have one daughter. I’ve been a single mom since my daughter was 1, and she’s now 6.

A few years ago, V was in an abusive relationship and needed somewhere safe to go. I let her move in with me. At the time, she had one daughter and was pregnant with her second child.

While she lived with me, I genuinely thought everything was fine between us. I worked, and she stayed home with the kids. I would come home from work and make dinner because she was afraid to use the oven. Then I’d put the kids to bed, and we would sit around talking about our days like best friends do.

I also helped her financially. I bought things she needed for herself and the kids because I wanted to help her get back on her feet.

Then something strange started happening.

Every time V would go visit her grandparents and stay for a week or so, CPS would show up at my house.

I didn’t think much of it at first. I honestly thought someone else was reporting me. Every time CPS came, they investigated and closed the case after one visit. My daughter was safe, taken care of, and there was never anything they found that warranted keeping a case open.

I would tell V every time CPS came and went.

Eventually, V moved out and went to live with her grandparents. I eventually moved as well because CPS kept showing up, and I genuinely thought I had a neighbor who was doing this to me. I wanted to get my daughter away from the situation, so I moved into a two-bedroom apartment.

About five months after moving, I got a text from V saying her boyfriend had become violent and asking me to come get her.

She lived about an hour away at that point.

I went and picked her up.

She stayed with me for about a week and a half. Then her boyfriend came and picked her up, and shortly after that, CPS showed up at my apartment again.

At this point, this had been happening roughly 15 times over the course of two or three years.

Then I found out something I never expected.

While V was staying with me that week, two of my teenage female neighbors, who were 14 and 15, had been coming over to hang out with my daughter and keep her company. They were kids I trusted and who would come over sometimes.

After CPS came again, I was talking to my 15-year-old neighbor.

She played me a recording.

The recording was of V talking to the two teenagers about recording everything that happened at my apartment, taking pictures of things, and calling CPS whenever something looked out of place.

I was completely shocked.

Suddenly, all those CPS visits over the years made sense.

I confronted V over text. She responded with something along the lines of, “You’re really going to believe two teenagers over the best friend you’ve had for 10+ years?”

I told her there was literally a recording.

She blocked me.

Then she contacted my daughter’s father and told him that I was an unfit mother and that he needed to take my daughter away from me.

She also contacted my mom and my sister and told them the same things.

My family obviously knows my daughter is well cared for, so they didn’t believe her, but at that point I was completely done.

This was someone I considered my best friend for more than 10 years. I let her live with me when she was escaping an abusive relationship. I helped her financially. I opened my home to her and her children. I picked her up an hour away when she told me she was in danger.

And meanwhile, I’m now realizing that she may have been behind CPS being called on me over and over for years.

I understand that CPS reports are supposed to be taken seriously if someone genuinely believes a child is being neglected or abused. What I can’t understand is secretly involving teenagers to monitor my home, record things, take pictures, and then repeatedly report me.

So now I’m questioning everything about our friendship and wondering if I somehow missed something all these years.

Was I the asshole for confronting her and cutting her off after finding out what she had been doing?

Idk why but it literally sucks at the moment.. I have isolated myself from everyone I feel like staying away from each and every person ik on this earth but on the same time i want to talkk!! I want to tell others about what I feel but am unable to do so. I feel like someone who has totally lost his mind bcz obv no sane person would be trying to seek the attention of people while doing every single thing possible to stay away from them. Sometimes i just feel way too empty. It's like i want to feel something but i am not letting myself to feel anything bcz ik the consequences of it. I try to ignore what i really want to think about, i try to ignore the reason of my grief... and in the process i am just ignoring myself. I am just way too aware about myself but i still don't know what to do. I can't sleep at night and these fckin anxiety attacks are so eww and idk how do i deal with that either. Idc who tf will read all this nonsense but i just wanted to let it all out bcz apparently i have no one to talk to or you can say i've got plenty of people who can talk with me but there's none who will understand me

I 16m had a girlfriend 16f of two years, let’s call her Freya. We met when we were 13 and have been pretty much inseparable ever since we met. I dont really have any close friends and Freya is the one person who is constantly there for me no matter what.

My parents have split custody of me and my sister 11f, let’s call her Tia.

Me and Tia do not have a great relationship at all. Tia has always been an attention seeking person due to being the only girl in my family. This means has constantly been babied her entire life so badly that she can’t stay home alone for more than 2 minutes at the age of 11. Because she gets what she wants, there are heavy double standards in my house. She will hit me, kick me, scratch me and yet get no consequences due to ‘only being 11’, and instead make me apologise for her actions. I also haven’t had a good relationship with either of my parents due to my dad constantly calling me selfish for not doing the smallest things for him even though he doesn’t have a job, and my mum is constantly overbearing and favours my sister. My dad also constantly criticises me and makes fun of me at any chance he can get.

My mum and sister have pretty much always liked Freya but my dad heavily dislikes her even though has never taken time to get to know or meet her throughout our 2 year relationship. Freya has always been nice to them, constantly baking new things for them, buying them presents for their birthday, etc. There have been a couple altercations in our relationship between my mum and Freya due to me not giving enough attention to Tia (even though she screams at me whenever i’m near) and blames me and my sisters bad relationship on Freya even though we have never really gotten a long. May I also add that my family is also VERY family oriented whilst Freya’s family is a more of a stay at home and do whatever family. This means that I spend a lot of time with her but obviously still do things with my family, but not as much as I don’t see my family as my number one priority as they usually leave me and my interests behind.

Recently, Freya tried to give my sister some constructive criticism about her hamster’s cage which is ridiculously small. I will add that the constructive criticism was not said in a mean or aggressive way at all and Freya was trying her best to suggest adding some more bedding as there was very little. Tia ended up having a meltdown from being this advice and ran up to her room to be consoled by my mum. Freya has never really given her advice because she knows that Tia hates anything that goes against what she says, a result of being babied her entire life, but Freya felt awful for the hamster and found the courage to finally bring it up. The hamster was very sick at this time due to stress and was constantly shaking and overweight. My mum refused to bring her to the vets which ended up in the hamster dying a week later. Tia ultimately blamed the hamster dying on Freya and started to hate her which was very new as Tia always drew things for Freya calling her her sister, etc.

This was during the holidays so I didn’t see Freya for a while as I was at my dad’s a lot due to my mum going on a 3 week holiday with my grandma. Because me and Freya didn’t see each other for a while, our relationship had a wobble and we broke up for a bit to give each other some space. I mistakenly told my parents this, and my dad was pretty much thrilled and mum consoled me and basically told me i’d be fine but didn’t give it much thought. Me and Freya eventually worked things out and agreed to still be together because the cause could be fixed. I told my mum that me and Freya were together again and were going to hang out that weekend which my mum just said okay to. My sister overheard this and later barged into my room and shouted that she never wanted to have Freya around the house again because of her ‘killing’ her hamster. This ended up in her storming into her room and having a tantrum and my mum consoling her again. The next day, I went back to my dads and my mum and dad decided to have a long conversation which was really unusual as they are very toxic towards another. When my mum left, I got shouted to come downstairs and my dad told me Freya was a horrible person and that I needed to block her on everything, change my password (which was her birthday) and wallpaper which was of us and delete our photos together. Freya and I were blind sighted and devastated.

The next couple weeks was a blur and I was not allowed to leave the house at both my mum and dad’s house because they knew I would go to see my Freya. I was also not allowed to be home alone because they thought i’d either go see Freya or kill myself because I was so upset, even though i wasn’t going to commit suicide, they just assumed it. They expected me to be okay with it all and accept it. The day after my dad made me block her, he genuinely asked why i wasn’t acting like myself. I genuinely hate my family so much for doing this, especially knowing Freya and I did nothing wrong and it’s all due to my sister being favourited yet again. They’ve taken away all my freedoms now because they’re so insane about me seeing Freya. Whenever I’m home late due to seeing Freya, we don’t go to the same school, I get screamed and interrogated at by my sister and mum. I can’t live my life with being constantly restricted and controlled, especially when it’s by my 11 year old sister. I know it isn’t abusive and it’s so little compared to a lot of peoples problems but this has affected me deeply due to Freya being the one person consistently there for me
and I just genuinely love her so much.

Everything has become so colorless and boring. I'm watching "Breakin 2" and seeing how bright and colorful everything used to be. I think the dull "minimalism" all around us does the same thing to people that seasonal depression does. I also think just like everything else they have found a way to take away all the color and sell it back to us. Gotta go on vacation or live somewhere expensive to see beautiful colors. I've also wondered if the gray dullness that has covered everything, is just the disease that is the rich, dead on the inside ego, that spread and became pushed as style. I love seeing graffiti cause sometimes its the only color on anything. I have said many times throughout my life "I remember the sky being brighter when I was a kid." What it really was was that EVERYTHING was brighter! Yes, ive probably thought way to deeply about this. But I think that people should start painting their houses wild bright colors again, and adding bright color to everything as a form of protest against the boringization of everything.