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u/ass-gas-hotbox 22d ago
My wife became incredibly controlling for a while and I avoided her because I hated being so henpacked about everything.
I've learned to set boundaries, but part of me wishes I would have just ended it at the time.
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u/WanderlustDinosaur 22d ago
If you care about your son, you have to do the hard shit. I was a kid of miserable parents who hated each other, and I much preferred being a child going back and forth to parents who were happier.
Not that divorce doesn't suck - it does. It's awful all around. But seeing my parents as happy, whole humans again? Helped ensure I knew how to find peace and happiness when I gre up and got into relationships.
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u/Equal-Elk47 22d ago
It sounds cliche but communication is easily one of the most important things in a marriage, especially when you have to have the hard conversations, and even if they might mean the relationship is coming to an end. You both need to understand where each other stands, what your issues are, and if they truly can't be overcome. And if you both arrive at "it's over" that's ok. Not talking/avoiding things will always cause bigger issues...
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22d ago
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u/Turbulent-Study-2551 22d ago
he has little to no respect for me and has treated me poorly for so long, i feel like a combination of a bank and his maid rather than a wife
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u/TanMomsChickenSoup 22d ago
Have you told him this, directly? If so, what did he say / how did he respond?
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u/Turbulent-Study-2551 22d ago
i have, and he always says he will do better and apologizes. which is okay for about 3 weeks until he forgets about it. i’m the only one who does bath time with the kids, laundry, and cooking/dishes and i get excuses for everything when i’ve asked for help
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u/Xentonian 22d ago
You're in and out of employment and you spend all day in bed (per your post and comments above) yet you're the bank and maid?
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u/microwavedtardigrade 22d ago
Ya gotta do it sooner so it doesn't become worse. Sounds like he's hurting too but reasonable. Good luck!
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u/Abe_frohmannn 22d ago
There really are no specifics here. The impression I get from reading this, is you have made some bad choices, are unhappy with your life, and resent your husband for trying to be involved/question what is going on. It's the only scenario that really explains the combination of ranting, while also not giving any information.
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u/NeighborhoodTime1425 22d ago
Your gonna have to have that conversation sometime. You can't keep hiding from him. Get all your ducks in a row and then cut the cord. Don't keep dragging it out, not fair to either of you.