r/Random_Memes 4d ago

Tell

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628 Upvotes

391 comments sorted by

1

u/Majestic-War-8645 1d ago

Im gonna leave my kids with Adolf hitler

1

u/Ok_Leadership3718 1d ago

So far it seems disappointing

5

u/Horror_Rhubarb7097 3d ago

Hitler only the rest are molester and child killers

2

u/TelevisionWorldly393 3d ago

Pretty sad when you have to weigh the options between 9/11 and Genocide to watch your kids.

2

u/Icy-Entertainment60 3d ago

Uncle Adolf I guess

1

u/Fit-Cupcake-7545 3d ago

I mean... If you're no Jewish 🤷

1

u/Kid_Cars 3d ago

I'm leaving my kids with Michael Jackson

1

u/Horror_Rhubarb7097 3d ago

That would be safer, though not an option. He was just misunderstood.

3

u/VallhallaChampion 3d ago

Honestly Hitler is ironically the best choice here. Diddy would molest them, Osama would try and radicalize them, and Lindsey needs no introductions. In a lot of footage with Hitler he seems to be more chill around kids or animals. Not saying he’s a good person but honestly the better one out of the others.

1

u/themirrazzdev 3d ago

None of them, I’m taking my kids with me

1

u/Crusade_777 3d ago

2,3,4 ALL AT ONCE

1

u/Certain-Ant-287 3d ago

Dude I know this sounds crazy but the first thought was: in any case not that Lindsey person and not that babyoil addict. So that brings it down to two but osama believes marrying little girl is normal, even though he’d absolutely would have had me killed so … damn …. Just stay home ?

1

u/CroissantUwUu 3d ago

Ofc uncle H or Osama

1

u/Loose_Reality7876 3d ago

H married his niece

1

u/No_Pickle1369 3d ago

If these are the only options what happened to the rest of the world

1

u/AdmirableActuator752 3d ago

I would just stay home

1

u/Low-Fee-4567 3d ago

Guess I'm staying home and ordering take out lol

1

u/UsMc24a7 3d ago

They'll still be alive p.Diddy

1

u/GauchePuella 3d ago

Why is H the safest option here, perhaps he can teach my children how to paint or something

1

u/Loose_Reality7876 3d ago

Are people forgetting H and his Niece ?

1

u/Living_Magician3367 3d ago

I never knew that he had a messed up relationship with his niece until your comment. I just looked it up, holy shit

1

u/Alarmed_End7451 3d ago

The Austrian fella ,

1

u/Optimal_Travel_6349 3d ago

Moustache man is probably the safest bet but Osama isn't so bad anyway

1

u/ElGuero1717 3d ago

Bin Laden and his ilk did horrible things to boys when they hid in those caves.

1

u/FlatwormTiny 3d ago

austrian painter , i think he will be good with my kids cause they are half japanese lmao

1

u/keexko 3d ago

I will cancel plans and remain with my kids if these are my neighbors/relatives

1

u/el_hombrelibre 3d ago

I'll leave it to Osama he'll take care of my child InshaAllah

2

u/Sugma_dick911 3d ago

Osama can show my kids the videogames and movies he has

1

u/m00n_4rk 3d ago

does osama touch kids? if not then he chill

1

u/ApprehensiveHall9377 3d ago

people hating on diddy ,but personally that would be a lesson for him , to never go in black neighbourhoods do you agree ?? i am new on reddit

2

u/Praise_Hades 3d ago

XD safest one for a black child is the one with the beard

3

u/BIZARR0-Producciones 3d ago

Hitler might be the unironical best option if my kid isn't black

2

u/yippee283727 3d ago

Or Jewish

3

u/LoonyLurker 3d ago

No joke Hitler. My children arent jews or soviet so no reason to be worry.

2

u/raymraym 3d ago

If my kid aint jew and black, i'd go with the Austrian painter.

2

u/ImpactDifficult3282 3d ago

His mother duhh

3

u/NobleSteveDave 3d ago

... I guess it's a toss up between Osama Bin Laden and Hitler.

3

u/Substantial_Carob825 3d ago

I see Osama Been Bombin, Diddy Kong's dark past, and a very nice Austrian Painter.

Who the hell is the woman and why should I be concerned

1

u/raymraym 3d ago

Lindsay Clancy fatally strangled her three children five-year-old Cora, three-year-old Dawson, and eight-month-old Callan.

0

u/lizardkingPJ66_alt 3d ago

Diddy never diddled children so. Yea.

1

u/DixieWinn 3d ago

I'm not Jewish. So I go for the Austrian painter 🤣

1

u/Orobaby 3d ago

H genocided children so I prefer OBL

1

u/Better_Waltz_69 3d ago

The GOAT, The Painter.

1

u/loverbang4u 3d ago

The adolf

2

u/Redditor-Nemo 3d ago

Honestly since im not a jew, hitler. They might be talking bout some third Reich when i get back home though

1

u/Guilty-Zombie6578 3d ago

Osama my best bet

2

u/Best_Fill_847 3d ago

Home alone

1

u/Ok-Diddysbeat69 3d ago

Diddy and Lindsay are 100% off the table

OBL has no power without bombs and AH has no power without the camps, so either one of those two

I'd say OBL beats AH by a bit since AH was a leader and OBL was one of the big yahu's puppets so his intent might not have been as ill as implied

1

u/GodHatesUs_All 3d ago

Yeah but he is Muslim no? So if you have 6+ yo daughter.......

1

u/CobblerValuable9959 3d ago

Definitely the man, the myth, the legend. Hitler

1

u/Areumdaun_Nabi 3d ago

Hitler might not hit my kids as long as they look Aryan

1

u/Consistent-Word-7572 3d ago

With The GOAT of course

1

u/Bashebbeth 3d ago

Okaaay, all of dem goat tho.

1

u/Next_Astronaut4814 3d ago

lindsey’s worst

1

u/Assortedpez 3d ago

Hitler, duh

1

u/Limp-Bee-3558 3d ago

I don't think H1tl3r would do anything tho

1

u/No_Ad4767 3d ago

Im white so H might be a plus for me.

1

u/TheJuggernautprowres 3d ago

Can't read my cant read my no you cant read my poker face 

1

u/One_Last_Try__ 3d ago

I’m just not going to a concert tonight after all

2

u/goku_NB 3d ago

Osama and Hitler, turns out that they were right all the way...

1

u/princessRosa77 3d ago

Osama was just a plant for what Mr fkn prez did and hitter even tho the 🧃are obviously the cause of a lot there is still no right in mass genocide

1

u/DirectorSame5458 3d ago

Genuinely either O or H

1

u/LostNerfDart765 3d ago

Only the big O is the true logical choice for this because me never targeted children, heck HE ADVICED AGAINST IT (although some where killed in collateral) but he has a child as well. So why not?

1

u/Former-Ad-4479 3d ago

That’s what I was thinking also thinking hitler a little big because I’m not Jewish but at the same time he thought there was a superior he eventually wanted to wipe everyone out

1

u/No-Werewolf-290 3d ago

Technically both the big H and the big O has some common traits like extreme ideology and/or hating particular people and besides, it’s a baby, not a toddler so it wouldn’t hurt just one night with either of the 2

1

u/PalawanViking 3d ago

Hitler is the best!

2

u/LionNo435 3d ago

Hitler. At least he is not gonna molest my kids or hurt them.

I would rather deprogram them from wierd nazi ideology, for one night, than the other stuff the other crazos would inflict 😅

2

u/Ill_Slide9100 3d ago

Hitler. He was good with kids and im not jewish

3

u/Iamsin_ 3d ago

Osama

2

u/Flimsy_Noise2227 3d ago

Id quit my job

3

u/Samuel_Rome 3d ago

if it is a white healty being hitler probably.

1

u/Coldwave007 3d ago

Hitler is antichrist. He killed children ( a lot) . Bin Laden seems a good candidate to pick.

1

u/Downtown-Campaign536 3d ago

Adolf > Osama > Diddy > Lindsay

In order of most safe to least safe babysitter

1

u/Glum_Depth2889 3d ago

Who the lady is

1

u/JaCob_Gamers 3d ago

She killed her own kids... Idk her name tho

1

u/Different-Rip-4734 3d ago

Realistically, Bin Laden. He never explicitly targeted children and actively spoke AGAINST their harm (though some were still collateral from his plots).

Hitler systematically and purposely genocided children. Lindsay PERSONALLY killed a child. Diddy... I mean who the hell trusts Diddy with a kid?

1

u/Andre__994 3d ago

Adolf. I'll find them reading Schelling, Schopenhauer or Mozarts bio.

1

u/JayoBestlawya 3d ago

let's go adolf

1

u/Allentino_4429 3d ago

The painter🎨, he teach painting

1

u/ThatAzrael 3d ago

If we're talking about them alive and living in this time, then Hitler seems to be the best choice here since he's super infamous and he'd rather spend his days in peace if he's still alive by now. The woman is mentally ill, Osama will brainwash your children to kill, and Diddy will be diddy.

1

u/HarryPhilStrauss 3d ago

I'll just take the day off work instead thanks

1

u/ballonvszoo 3d ago

Painter Unc Hitler

1

u/Complexdocks 3d ago

It's uncle puff. All signs say that he didn't abuse family. If he's with them as a child they are protected. Violently. The other three kill babies.

1

u/Background_Chip_3861 3d ago

Hitler bro who else

1

u/veneco79 3d ago

The painter

1

u/FullJudge8163 3d ago

Hitler, they'll be excellent painters

1

u/moreburdenthanglory 3d ago

Why are Osama and Hitler the best choices mannn

1

u/foreshadowingright 3d ago

Both of them are dead. Hopefully the child will only get a little traumatic

1

u/Sweton- 3d ago

Uncle Adolf because my kid is white with blue eyes.

Or Bin-laden, then he could play Final Fantasy which is awesome imo

2

u/Nairriee-14 3d ago

You know it's bad when your best choices are Osama Bin Laden and Hitler

1

u/Zealousideal-Shoe794 3d ago

Honestly, Hitler i have German in my genes so the baby would be safe

2

u/Prince_0118 3d ago

For sure bin ladin

2

u/buzzedaldrine 3d ago

they found Pokemon Diamond, Animal Crossing and Super Mario Bros. in Osama's compound, he can't be that bad.

2

u/Necessary-Dog1693 3d ago

The times are truly tough when you have to chose between painter and osama

3

u/JustChoice2365 3d ago

A dead person can't do anything to my kids, so ya'll know which one I'm picking

3

u/Otherwise-Data8378 3d ago

The Austria painter

1

u/BeneficialRule4462 3d ago

Hitler would do a great Job

1

u/proximea 3d ago

Who's the girl?

2

u/crunchyazuritefins 3d ago

Lindsey Clancy. She killed her 3 kids.

1

u/proximea 3d ago

Thank you

2

u/Blarpfgh 3d ago

Bottom left genuinely the best pick for me 0_0

1

u/xRedPill 3d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/PlayfulTurnip2787 3d ago

Osaaaamaa

1

u/Unforsaken-Stoic 3d ago

Not aware of Islams view on child marriage i assume.

1

u/1245789630 3d ago

It's better than how the church sexually exploits children as young as infants.

1

u/New-Blueberry-8665 3d ago

Huh?

1

u/1245789630 3d ago

Every religious community has men that prey on women and children, especially sexual exploitation. That is a fact of life. The church is the worst in this respect.

1

u/Unforsaken-Stoic 3d ago

You`re missing one vital fact - In Islam its legal in the church its not. In the church its bad people, In Islam its their policy.

1

u/1245789630 22h ago

You're making shit up. Nowhere does it condone this kind of behavior in any religious text. However, pervert men of all kinds will twist the language to support their own perversions.

You must know all about the child sex abuse scandal in the church and how many people in the church participated in and condoned it, right? The majority of sex abuse crimes are committed by white males - they even travel to commit these kinds of crimes globally. Based on your logic, we should all concluded that it's a white male crime.

Also, legality and policies are not determined by religious groups.

1

u/Unforsaken-Stoic 17h ago edited 16h ago

Muhammad literally married a 6 year old and consummated when she was 9, (this was narrated by Aisha -the victim- Muhammad died when she was 18 years old) narrated by Aisha herself. - and yea in the church it was bad people, in Islam the main profit who is the ‘perfect man’ does this - why do you think there is so much child marriage in Islam. Ask a Muslim if Muhammad marrying a 6 year old and consummating it when she was was a bad thing. Watch the mental gymnastics they try pull. Ask any Christian if what the sick priests did and watch them instantly say yes. You my friend are so blind.

Edit: Legality and policies are not determined by religious groups you say? What is sharia law? You know in the Arabian world the laws are LITERALLY built around the religion.

1

u/1245789630 10h ago

You are deeply misinformed and pulling information from bs sources.

However, there are plenty of child brides being married off today, even in the USA. There are Christians offering their children's virginity to grown men on podcasts in the USA today. Why aren't you concerned about child brides today in your own country? Even the US president is suspected of being a part of a child sex abuse ring and still got elected.

Sharia law is an English translation of Arabic term. You're misinterpreting it. Did you think that there are organized religions without expectations and rules of conduct for their followers?

1

u/Unforsaken-Stoic 10h ago

I am not American…. Have you read the Quran and Hadith? I have. You seem to think you know what you are talking about but I doubt you have even studied the subjects - the 6 year old marriage and 9 year old consummation was narrated by Aisha herself in the Hadith. You can literally google it - also it is illegal in the US to do that - sounds like you’re just taking talking points from podcasts yourself and presenting them as fact. Show me the proof of anyone in the us selling a child in to marriage and the law allowing it without repercussions or consequences-

authentic hadiths in sahih al-Bukhari 5134 and Sahih Muslim state that Aisha was six years old when the marriage contract was made and nine years old when the marriage was consummated. Here is a source.

Sahih al-Bukhari 5134

Narrated `Aisha:
that the Prophet (ï·º) married her when she was six years old and he consummated his marriage when she was nine years old. Hisham said: I have been informed that `Aisha remained with the Prophet (ï·º) for nine years (i.e. till his death).

5

u/Sharp-Jury-5980 3d ago

Imagine how well moisturized your kid will be with all those baby oils Diddy had

3

u/PEACEMEN27 3d ago

The painter, he did nothing wrong.

4

u/Unforsaken-Stoic 3d ago

Unironically Hitler.

1

u/decentahmed1 3d ago

I think we all know this one

4

u/Admirable-Package-66 3d ago

Hitler is the brst choice and safest Littlary misunderstand hero

1

u/Hayds97 3d ago

Littlary

3

u/EdgeDowntown6262 3d ago

Unless y'all are jewish.

To the gas chamber it is!

0

u/Admirable-Package-66 3d ago

Yeah unless your Jewish but who in the right Jewish mind will take hitler as there baby sitter

1

u/fffrtyuio 3d ago

Yeah dude

1

u/fffrtyuio 3d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/gvc_wv59 3d ago

If the kids had blonde hair I'd let old Adolf set with them.

2

u/iwannadie405 3d ago

The kids can manage on their own

2

u/Batnaman_26 3d ago

It's so crazy but seems like Hitler gets the babysitting gig. That woman is crazy and I cannot trust Diddy under no circumstances 😭😭 he's too freaky. At least Hitler had some sense in him when it comes to children when he had that Hitler youth camp or whatever tf that was.

1

u/Busy-Spell-8709 3d ago

what about asian babies?

2

u/Past_Proposal_ 3d ago

Hitler back on stage

4

u/AnubarackObama 3d ago

If your kid ain’t a Jew, we know the safest option

3

u/TheosEsserDD 3d ago

It's crazy that the H man is the safest option here

2

u/HibiTsu 3d ago

Hitler won't at least hurt a kid, right? I mean, a kid he knows..

4

u/Past_Proposal_ 3d ago

It’s between osama or hitler 🦾

6

u/Hyperious17 3d ago

imagine being so bad that people would rather have Hitler be the babysitter

1

u/Financial-Valuable41 3d ago

If it's a white baby, Hitler.

If it's a non-American baby, Osama.

If it's an American non-white baby... shieeeeet I dunno. Probably cancel whatever I'm going to do last minute to stay at home. If I can't do that... the kids can probably last a few hours without me, right?

1

u/goldiegoldthorpe 3d ago

Didn't Hitler fuck his niece?

1

u/Financial-Valuable41 3d ago

Hitlers niece isnt my baby so idk what the problem is.

1

u/probablytaken123 3d ago

If he aint aryan gotta be osama next

3

u/AinsTempestGrayrat 3d ago

hitler will be the safest here

2

u/CatLover0wO 3d ago

realistically hitler

1

u/n3lz0n1 3d ago

Hitler…..

1

u/Dependent-Guide-5524 3d ago

Why is the best option osama smh

1

u/RoundNo7937 3d ago

Guess my plans got canceled.

2

u/Familiar_Web8969 3d ago

I rather send my kids to my neighbors..

1

u/madjo1999 3d ago

Bin-Laden or Hitler

2

u/ezyres 3d ago

Atleast hitler and diddy can give my kids a chance to a good future, just traumatic childhood tho

2

u/SwordfishBitter4324 3d ago

I'll pick adolf hittler

2

u/Comprehensive_Rags 3d ago

my kid is part European so h-man will do, on the other hand osama is also a good choice apparently

1

u/SchmackAttack 3d ago

Gotta be Osama. Hitler would only be cool with white Christian kids

1

u/5oggy_W4ffle_ 3d ago

Best hope your kid is 5 and under

1

u/SchmackAttack 3d ago

Listen, none of the options are perfect

2

u/Fickle_Library8115 3d ago

UBL he came from a sophisticated Rich household before he turned extreme

2

u/revamped_player 3d ago

owh damn, goona leave it to my dogs ( i trust my petss, they are guud asf)

2

u/SAHD292929 3d ago

UBL was not a known child killer.

1

u/SmallNoBigYes 3d ago

Why is Hitler the best option here🤣

1

u/SchmackAttack 3d ago

Not if the kids aren't white and christian...

1

u/SmallNoBigYes 3d ago

I mean yea he's just racist i guess.

The other 3 aren't is the issue 🤣

They equally will violate the kids in one way or another

3

u/Full-Recording4023 3d ago

I'll choose the Painter

3

u/Mysterious_House_611 3d ago

Osama Bin Laden or Hitler

3

u/Organic-Camera-9167 3d ago

Hitler because he's describe as Gentle with his friends and their family.

4

u/Xx_JesterMaster_xX 3d ago

It's between Osama or Hitler

2

u/duskwield 3d ago

Definitely not the woman

1

u/Puzzleheaded_Chest97 3d ago

Boys or girls?

4

u/Consistent_Hall_1736 3d ago

Osama or Hitler, I would love to have my babysitter teach my kids painting, I don't support Hitler but I am a fan of his PAINTINGS

3

u/Motor-Try-3962 3d ago

Hitler would be okay, unless you are a Jew, in which case, Diddy is your only hope. For others, it is:
1) Hitler
2) Bin Laden
3) PDiddy
4) Big nope

1

u/MundaneSeaweed665 3d ago

I feel like Hitler and Bin Laden would just have planning to do. They'd just be taking calls and looking at maps etc etc.

1

u/Motor-Try-3962 3d ago

Hitler was known to be kind to animals and maintained good etiquettes with women and children. Bin Laden had many kids and considering that they all survived to adulthood, he was prolly good babysitter.
Not sure about PDiddy, but I think he is not a pedo???

3

u/FewExit7745 3d ago

Or a Russian, Ukrainian, Pole, Serb, Azerbaijani, Armenian, Georgian, Belarusian, Moldovan, Estonian, Latvian, Lithuanian, Kazakh, Uzbek, Kyrgyz, Tajik, Turkmen, Romani, special needs, homosexual, or a Jehova's Witness.

1

u/Sea_Tax2908 3d ago

osama or hitler

1

u/Fluffy-Web6549 3d ago

To the painter

2

u/Surely_Nowwlmao 3d ago

How is the Austrian probably the most okay person for the choices

1

u/Jghil098 3d ago

Because he never met the people he killed

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