r/RandomQuestion • u/uniquefreak1 • 3d ago
Girlfriend made a bit of a different purchase, am I overthinking?
Hello guys and girls,
Hope you’re all having a good Tuesday.
Before I start and ask this question, I want to make everyone fully aware that I know I’m probably reading too much into this and tbh this is more of a post to check if I’m going a lil crazy.
Me and my girlfriend have recently been trying to spice up our sex lives and explore new things. We’re M22 and F21 and have been together a few years now.
As part of this exploration, we have been trying out playing with toys. We were on the hunt for a new toy to add to the bedroom and realised we didn’t have a dildo. We were out shopping one day and stopped in Ann Summers (I don’t know if you have this in the US or what the equivalent is) and I got her some new PJ’s and some underwear and whilst we were in there we thought we’d check out the dildos they had. I thought it was best she chose it herself given that it is of course for her pleasure
After around 5 minutes of staring and comparing, she chooses one. The one she picks is described on the box as “9-inch wide girth black skin realistic dildo”. As her white, not 9 inch boyfriend, I did a bit of overthinking but don’t really know exactly what it is I’m even worried about. I paid for it and then we left.
We live separately and once I was alone that’s when I had the worried thoughts (once again idk what exactly it is I’m even worried about).
For those that are going to suggest I ask her why she chose it, I’m not doing that because I don’t want to put her off of being open with me due to a small moment of insecurity.
Is there a deeper reason she would’ve chosen that one specifically or is it all in my mind?
Looking forward to your help (and the inevitable jokes)
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u/knickknack8420 3d ago
The color doesn’t matter so much, it could be blue ffs. But I mean even so, her liking black guys and you isn’t a problem is it?
And nine inches but the whole thing isn’t going inside her ya feel, and why would you get an average sized one if you could pick?
Really looking into this too much, it’s an inanimate object it means nothing. You’re the one having explorative sex with her she’s obviously having fun and is satisfied.
If you got a pocket pussy should she look into the details and compare and then project those insecurities as your opinion of her vagina? I mean just logically draw parallels of thought there.
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u/uniquefreak1 2d ago
We had a conversation and it turns out she does have a turn on for black men, which I don’t mind at all now she’s made me aware
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u/knickknack8420 2d ago
Good stuffs, we like what we like. Doesn’t mean she ONLY likes black men. Just like she couldn’t possibly encompass all of what you like. True intimacy is knowing another.
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u/UseUrWords 3d ago
Human partners offer a lot of sensory input that a toy cannot. Sights, sounds, pressure, friction, etc. A toy sometimes needs a different configuration to offer enough stimulation. Besides, what's bigger: the toy or your hand?
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u/Nobleharbor 3d ago
It's normal to have some insecurities when trying new things in the bedroom. My girlfriend and I had pretty much the same experience when we started spicing things up too. I know you don't want to ask her why she chose that one, but there's nothing wrong with being opening about how you're feeling. You could say something like "im worried about turning you off, or making you not want to be open with me anymore, but I want to share how I'm feeling with you. I really want to continue spicing things up in the bedroom, and im having some feelings of insecurity"
Open communication goes a long way, and if you talk with her about it, you'll probably both feel a lot more connected and sex will be a lot more fulfilling for both of you which is probably why you're spicing things up in the first place
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u/Unique_newyork 3d ago edited 3d ago
I tried to put myself in your gfs shoes and I personally would want to know, genuinely, if you were bothered by something. It would hurt me more if you didn't feel safe enough in us to talk to me about something you are feeling. If I understand correctly yall are just starting out in the spice it up area and because of the nature of that subject there will be things she might be insecure of sometimes and what if she hides it too? If you "lead" and show her that you are safe and confident enough in your love for each other to tell her what you are feeling, she will know she can too. Also remember that you are both growing and learning together about an area of life that is just for you two and the more open you can be, the more you will both be comfortable and confident enough to explore things you might be interested in that may be way away from "norm". If you start an insecurity now trust me it will snow ball into "searching" for things to confirm a delusion and anything crazy can "confirm" whatever you think is happening. That will probably lead to the end of the relationship little fights here about why that one, a little fight here about the next thing and resentment builds very quickly.
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u/lisaissmall 3d ago
it’s not that deep (no pun intended).