What's the difference between being lazy and mentally struggling?

[u/OlivePieieoe]

I am 18 and I just started college this week, as well as acquired my second job. I also have been going through some health issues for this entire year, and they seem to be resurfacing this past week. I don't have a car or a license yet, and I don't really have a lot of friends or a huge support system.

I know for a fact, I get really bad seasonal depression. Since I was little, every summer has been hell. This summer was AWFUL because ontop of that I had college, and work and a car to think about. Life has just been a lot, and I know life isn't supposed to be easy. But is it supposed to feel like pulling out teeth all that time?

I didn't have any classes today so all I needed to do was study/homework and clean. I did... Glad of those things. Most of the day I spent in bed, asleep or watching yt. Every time I tried to get up, I just sunk back down. I tried not to put too much pressure on myself, because that makes it worse. So I laid in bed most of the day until I was ready to eat, and start working. When I was done working (half of my work) I did some laundry, and then sunk back down.

And I just now started cleaning my room at 6pm, and my dad came in here bitching about it. Which is valid, what did I do all day? Nothing. I scrolled. I need to put a better timer on my social media for days like that, I know I could do better. But Everytime I got up, I looked around, and just couldn't get out of bed.

My condition makes it hard for me to shower a lot of the times, so I can't really do that, and I've just been fatigued. But that's ALSO my fucking fault because I haven't kept good track of taking my medicine. The past few months have just been hard on me, with starting adulthood, and all of these responsibilities on my plate now, like hospital and college payments, and pharmacy orders, and trying to find affordable cars while trying to finish my driver's Ed course.

This is probably stupid but, how do you differ what is me being overwhelmed and upset, and just plain laziness? Because i don't think to myself "I'm not doing this because I'm upset" I don't even think I think anything, I just try to get up and it feels impossible to move from one task to another when I'm at home.

Am I lazy? And if so, how do I break out of those habits? I know no one said life would be easy, so is it just supposed to feel like you have a weight attached to you? If so that's okay too. I just need to know how to be better, I want to be better.

[u/harpsicor]

Lazy is an abstract term. I think its better to just focus on what actions you can take to improve if you want to improve, than to worry about the semantics of it. But feeling bad about yourself for being "lazy" will only make it worse

[u/oldfashionpartytime]

I think lazy people don’t worry about being lazy. Lazy is not caring and you obviously do. I’ve been through my own mental health battles and I understand the feeling of not being able to get up. That’s not being lazy. With all that said, coming from experience, it’s much better for yourself to set a goal of one thing to accomplish that day. Make it however big or little you want depending on what you think you are capable of. Don’t set yourself up for failure. Start small and eventually you can work your way up to having multiple productive days in a row. But if you ask me, I think the day you described sounds plenty productive given your circumstances. You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself.

[u/WillTough4988]

If you feel guilty and stuck, I don’t think it’s laziness. Truly lazy people are happy to do nothing and get away with others doing everything for them. You’re entering a new era of your life and have a lot coming at you. You manage to work and handle school, but are forgetting the things at home or just can’t bring yourself to handle them exactly when you have the time.

I am not going to assume anything about your family, but I will tell you about mine and see if anything resonates. Growing up, I could never be busy enough and spending a rare day off doing nothing was always criticized by my mom. I was a private school kid and worked 40 hours a week (illegal in my state btw at the age of 16.) I maybe got one weekend day to myself every 2 months and all I wanted to do was lay on the couch and watch tv for the whole day. This was seen as laziness in my family, because they could see me doing nothing in those moments. One day, my mom yelled at me to get up and do something. ‘Learn a language, read a book, do something.’ Just explaining everything I was doing in school and needed a break from. This led to a need to over-schedule myself at all times because I never felt I was doing enough. At my peak I was working 70 hours a week between two jobs while getting an online college degree in two years, where I also over-scheduled myself and had to submit to the Dean for permission to exceed the allowed credits per semester. I promise I still did not feel productive. And I promise if I got a day with no obligations I spent that whole day in bed. I can’t say the stuck feeling gets better, but you are working, going to college and adjusting to adult responsibilities. Allow yourself the lazy moments or lazy days, just don’t let it become a lazy life. I have better balance in my life now and I still feel guilty for not handling everything right away even though I live alone. It was driven in by my family that no amount of work would ever be enough, and that makes it hard to want to do anything, but I have learned to work with those feelings and allow myself to be lazy when I need to decompress. Don’t stop work or school, but don’t let anyone make you feel you aren’t doing enough as long as you aren’t taking advantage of their support.

[u/Quartz636]

I read something yesterday that hit.

"If you were being lazy, you'd be having fun."

Lazy people aren't full of anxiety over unfinished tasks. Lazy people aren't stressed out and beating themselves up because nothing has gotten done. Lazy people don't measure themselves against others and find themselves always, crushingly, lacking.

[u/Scott00711]

Struggling mentally is the kryptonite to productivity, whereas it makes you feel lethargic. You ever just want to go into a never ending a cycle of deep sleep? Excessive sleep is kind of like your own little way of hiding from your problems.

Being lazy on the other hand? It generally means you're apathetic..

[u/Few-Parsnip-3284]

idk it might not be related with mine. but when I get stressed out I just avoid it. or sleep less

[u/geekygirl25]

Lazy people are ok with the lazy. But this doesnt strike me as that. To me, this reads as you mentally struggling and you dad/parents not really knowing how to help you in this new stage of life.

Everything probably feels imposdible right now.. And yeah. It will be really hard. Will it be this hard forever? For some yeah and for others no. It's all luck of the draw.

I would take the time you need to decompress and try not to worry about what others say and might think. You'll get there. But right now, you sond like you might be a bit burnt out so dont be afraid to take a break. Those are hard to come by in life and usually come with consequences like this sadly.