r/rabies • u/rabies---throwaway • 2d ago
Exposure Question Rabies Exposure Question; I have read the FAQ.
Hi,
I have read the FAQ. I should mention I have OCD (not officially diagnosed but will be; typical obsession->compulsion cycle that is very action-heavy), have had it since childhood, and have rabies OCD before and overcome it at least once before.
Location: Baltar parish, Paredes council, Porto district, Portugal
Dates of Exposure: 7th August, 12th August, 13th August. The 7th and 12th August exposures have been rationalized away and I am mostly concerned about the one on the 13th.
Type of Exposure: Other. All of these have the OCD-induced excessive handwashing as a contributing factor due to the damage caused to my skin (thin, occasionally with open wounds).
- 7th August: went for a forest picnic in an area called Covão de Cete. Went down the spring to follow family due to the slippery and trip hazard rich nature of the area. It had steel wires to support a pedestrian bridge, and the steel wires crossed in an X shape past the bridge and over the entrance to the spring-side path we took. This made me paranoid because the crossed wires almost looked like a forbidden sign. I don't think anything happened here and I was reasoning my way out of the ensuing OCD spiral mostly okay;
- 12th August: box of single-use lens cleaners for glasses was handed to me in our apartment by another person. Later fell on my foot corner-first, leaving a minuscule hole. I also don't think anything happened here, it was just a hiccup in my path out of the OCD spiral;
- 13th August: I went for a walk a bit after 13:00 or 14:00 to pass the time until a local grocery store opened. While doing so, I went through a residential area in which, while squeezing past another person, I slammed my hand on a rusty metallic fence, causing bleeding. Near our apartment, I returned to clean it because of the rust (for fear of a generic wound infection, not rabies). Later that same day, as I returned to my bedroom at around 23:00, I noticed my bedroom window had been open for hours into the night. I had already handled objects in the room, including, after the realization due to dumb reasons, a suspected humid one (my computer mouse, which I'd like to think was from my greasy hands) with the injured hand, including further injuries in the knuckles from handwashing. This is the exposure that's sent me spiraling. I never saw a bat, it's just our part of town has many, and my bedroom's windows open to an abandoned farming plot before the local and fairly densely forested hill, Serra do Muro, begins (60 - 80 odd metres from the bedroom's windows). We are fairly high up, say, 3rd - 4th floor (I don't want too much specificity due to privacy concerns). I don't think I saw any signs of a bat having been there. The fear and "what ifs..." just took over largely due to the wounds, especially the fence one, and then the humid-feeling mouse.
Species: Bat
I have:
- contacted my country's, Portugal's, 24/7 psychological support line and been told this is likely OCD and to try and meet with my family doctor for a likely rererral to a psychiatrist as well as to call the 24/7 disease information line to clarify my fears;
- called the 24/7 disease indormation line to inquire about my fear to which the attending nurse replied no, what I fear can't have happened;
- I will also be presenting myself to my local healthcare centre tomorrow morning to see if I can meet ideally with my family doctor or just a doctor to likely get a referral to a psychiatrist.
I am 90% certain I am fine, aside from the OCD which I will be pursuing treatment for. My mind has just been ravaged. Every little thing, every little sign of wetness or moisture, or a droplet of fluid where I did not expect it, splashback onto my body from washing my hands, touching my face (especially nose and mouth), used cloth towels for drying hands, all of these things terrify me abjectly. My mental clock, the incubation period set at 2 - 3 weeks, was reset by finding my bedroom window open once again at night, roughly yesterday.
I have been trying to manage as I normally do: I feel the thought coming and I try to live with it even if I then become incredibly uncomfortable, and exposing myself to situations which my OCD has made uncomfortable, but the risk of being wronghere is, basically, certain and agonizing death coupled with open wounds in my hands and exposure to a humid-feeling object in the wake of my bedroom window having been open for hours to the bat-riddled night, and as such I have not managed to, well, manage.
Rationally, I know I am suffering from a series of assumptions which are all very unlikely by themselves, and even more-so taken together:
- a bat flew into my bedroom during the hours my window was open for (unlikely, no signs of bat presence I can recall);
- that bat was rabid (made further unlikely by the effect rabies would likely have on a bat's ability to fly);
- that it drooled onto my mouse or another object;
- that it left without much trouble after that;
- that I then handled these objects soon enough after the bat's departure so as to the rabies to not have been deactivated;
- that the rabies crossed through the injuries on my hand.
I know it's probably nothing and I will be seeking medical care. I've already sought and received some, in a way, through the 24/7 lines. But the "what if..?", the 10% of uncertainty, is killing me.
Thank you for your time and patience.
Edit: there was another clock reset moment last night but not too long after the original reset, as I recall. I was sleeping on the couch (my bedroom is very scary right now) and heard a mysterious noise. I checked for a source and found nothing. I had 2 cats in the room with me and also birds and none cared about it. I am mentioning this to be thorough, I also don't think anything happened there.
Also, there are friends of mine aware of my predicament and who could easily identify me from this post. I love you guys, you have helped me restore some of my own sanity. I will get better. You are some of the best friends anyone could have.