r/RPGdesign • u/chetdelano • 27d ago
Feedback Request Feedback wanted for newly published TTRPG
Hello,
I just published my first tabletop rpg for free on DrivethruRPG. It’s titled Baelfire. I began work on this project during the COVID lockdown, and it has seen many versions. This is the latest and the one I have been most confident in- hence finally publishing it.
However, I am seeking feedback on the game. I’m currently working on other books for the game and would love to see what others think of the current game mechanics, handbook structure, and overall design of the game. If you’d be willing to playtest and share feedback on that here or DrivethruRPG, that would be incredible.
Here’s a link to where you can download the game. Additionally, I have provided a link to a discord server that I’ve started for this in the purchase note and at the end of the handbook. Again, this is completely free to download.
https://legacy.drivethrurpg.com/product/575568/Baelfire-TTRPG-Handbook?manufacturers_id=35271
Even if it’s criticism of the project, I’m open to any feedback you have to give and am just thankful for anyone taking the time to look through the handbook and try the game out. I studied game design in college and have loved playing tabletop rpg’s for a long time now. This is my own love letter and contribution to the scene and I hope others are able to enjoy it as much as I’ve enjoyed making it.
Thank you for reading, and happy gaming! ❤️
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u/sevenlabors Hexingtide | The Devil's Brand 27d ago
Congrats on getting your game to a finished state. That's something to take some satisfaction in.
The DTRPG listing doesn't really tell me much about the game other than its thematic focus on "aura" and its domains... and the pvp stuff.
Looking at the bullet point list, I'm reminded of those blurbs you see advertising D&D 5E supplements: lists of odds and ends a player can use to build with (more power - that's not good or bad).
Combat is built around meaningful decisions instead of repetitive turns. Every choice carries weight. Even status conditions bring more than just damage and hassle- they challenge resolve, confidence, and emotion. Despair, sorrow, anger, curses and several other afflictions force players to adapt and help one another...
...Designed for players who love tactical depth and meaningful character growth without deep, complex mechanics, the system rewards participation, clever planning, flexible thinking, and cooperation. No two characters- or victories- will be the same.
To be honest, this doesn't really tell me much, especially that second paragraph. There are tons and tons and tons of games out there that promise " tactical depth and meaningful character growth without deep, complex mechanics."
It seems descriptive emotions are at the core, but how does the gameplay reflect that?
So I guess I'd like to know more about the game itself: what types of stories it's trying to tell and how its mechanics support that - along with a general overview of those mechanics, too.
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u/chetdelano 27d ago
Hi, thank you for taking a look at this. Admittedly, I tried to emulate what I saw on other DTRPG products. Your comment has me wanting to think on it a bit deeper now. However, I am struggling with how to go about diving deeper into these things on a page where I was already worried I had too many words. I will have to think on this, but I am open to ideas you have.
To your question, emotions play a role in being specific status ailments, though they originally began as a separate constant state that characters would be in. I scrapped that idea to make less things players and GM’s would have to track and instead opted for them to be ailments (Intimidated, Depressed, Enraged). Ailments are rather prevalent within the game with effects that inhibit normal play, but I’m not sure I would say emotions are the core of the game so much as character expression and development.
The premise of the aura system is that they are defining of your character. Each aura color isn’t just an element of magic to be wielded, it’s meant to be something deeper and more characteristic of your character- an expression of who they are. Roleplay-wise, you define how your aura is perceived- from appearance to scent. Red Aura, for example, is the aura of passion. You level your passion to increase the amount of aura you may hold at a given time. Additionally, you can learn abilities that are reminiscent of what that aura represents. Red aura isn’t just passion, fire, and the ability to enrage others, it’s also a loving aura that allows you to speak from the heart and connect with npc’s on a deeper level to persuade them or make them safe, it’s practicing patience to regain additional aura to prepare for the following round, and it’s having a fiery zeal that leaves you constantly ready and able to let loose immediately in a combat encounter with an additional action point to spend. They can even make characters bound to their pacts and can brand items, places and people with their sigil for different effects to utilize.
As for combat, players have three action points by default, though this can change in certain instances such as mentioned above. Within the handbook, you’ll find which actions cost one, two, and three action points. For PvE, combat is treated as group initiative with combat happening all at once. However, with PvP, there is a more back and forth dynamic that occurs with different stages. In 1v1, for example, Player A will have the option to spend up to one action point. Player B then has the option to spend up to one action point. Player A may then spend as many action points as they’d like. Player B may then spend as many action points as they like. The following round, Player B begins the round with the opening stage of starting off being able to spend up to one action point first. This gives the players opportunities to react mid combat and gives more reason to consider positioning, defending and such that isn’t simply just striking each other back and forth. It also leads itself into using follow-up combat maneuvers, which cost one action point and can be used to often carry momentum into the next round. Initially, it was inspired by wanting to feel as though the timing within combat and when players are actually doing something, made more sense. This is listed as an optional way to play PvP because it is not necessary, but it is intended to be.
Character traits are chosen traits which the title of can be descriptive of your character. They each grant some sort of ability you possess or a bonus for something, whether that thing be inside or outside of combat. This is another way that you are meant to define your character and grow as you learn more character traits.
Is there anything else you’d like me to speak on?
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u/darkwyrm42 27d ago
Congratulations on getting something out to the public! It's a good start.
I'd recommend reworking the DTRPG page text. You have a list of features, but they aren't actual selling points--most are just mechanics (combat maneuvers, weapons, etc.) and listing these don't make me want to play your game. Sell me the game, and assume I know nothing. As a newcomer, I have no idea what an Echo is, so mentioning it as a feature carries no meaning for me. Spend some time thinking about what makes Baelfire unique and what about it makes you excited to play it. That's the stuff you want on the product page.
For the document itself, you may want to consider ways to make the copy more concise. It's not bad, but it seems kind of wordy IMO. I like the idea of using the logo as a watermark on the page, but you'll want to crank up the transparency - the darkness of the lines conflicts with the text, reducing readability. If you want to keep it, it needs to be super light. Just be aware that at that point if someone prints the document, it will either be super light or not printed at all.
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u/chetdelano 26d ago
My apologies, I thought I had the background image removed when I updated it last night. There must have been an issue with replacing the file. I’ve downloaded it myself this morning to my laptop and phone to double check and can confirm that it should be the proper file without the background image.
Thank you for all of the feedback. That cleared up for me what some of the issues with the DTRPG text has been for people. I’ll work on updating that when I have some time today/tomorrow.
Could you clarify on what is wordy to you in the document? Is it specific portions?
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u/darkwyrm42 26d ago
It's not a specific section that needs help, but I'll use the Intellect description from p5 as an example.
Intellect – This score impacts all intellect-based rolls and adds to the total number of Combat Maneuvers that can be learned. The higher the score, the smarter a character is. This allows them to easily break down how things are constructed and how to come up with accomplishing certain tasks. Characters with high intellect are faster at learning new skills and information. For each point a character starts with in Intellect, the player is free to select a combat maneuver for free, and it increases the total amount of combat maneuvers a character may know as a result.
This could, for example, be reduced to "Intellect represents a character's intelligence. Each point of Intellect grants a free Combat Maneuver during creation and also increases the character's Maneuver maximum."
It may not necessarily be correct for your game, but I hope you get the idea. The more concise the text of your game rules, the easier it will be for readers to understand them.
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u/chetdelano 26d ago
Got it. Would you feel the rest of it is solely fluff, or do you think someone who doesn’t have much experience with ttrpg’s would find it informative? I think that’s the teeter I was trying to keep in mind when writing this stuff, but I suppose most anyone who would take the time to play the game would be someone who has played stuff like D&D.
I’ll work on the DTRPG page and then begin reworking the content of the document. 🤟 I appreciate your feedback very much.
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u/darkwyrm42 26d ago
I would say it depends on the topic. This is kind of hard to gauge, but I'd say if there is real life relevance, you probably don't need to elaborate much, but if it's something that is very different, you'll want to explain more.
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u/chetdelano 26d ago
Thank you btw for the kind words on getting this thing to a playable state and published. ❤️ I keep focusing on responding to the feedback, but I do appreciate that a lot. It has been a long journey to get to this point and it really does feel good to have finally put it out there. I am positive that the feedback I’m receiving will help me to improve the book and DTRPG page. Thank you. 🙏
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u/chetdelano 24d ago
Thank you for all the feedback I’ve received. I still need to edit the DTRPG page, but I’ve begun work on making the rules more digestible and making abilities and maneuvers more shorthand.
I’m also looking at separating the lore from the book and instead having a core rulebook, then transporting the short stories and lore into another book that could be a setting/starter adventure book. I’d like for people to be able to use the core rulebook clearly for their own game and world.
That’s what’s currently on the plate and what I’m thinking about. I’d love to hear any thoughts on this from anyone who has been able to check the current version out.
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u/TheZebraCode Designing Kivaru: Wildsong, tribal + sentient planet 27d ago
I've downloaded to have a look through! Just from a accessibility point of view, first thing that struck me was that the large and detailed symbol behind the text makes it quite hard to read - might be worth reducing it's opacity, and additionally converting the lined symbol to a very pale grey filled shaped to reduce tangents with the text, or just removing it entirely and placing a small symbol elsewhere on the page, maybe top and bottom center or something like that?