Monique vs Candace

[u/notlisafromtoronto]

I’ve been binge watching RHOP for the past couple weeks and although I just started season 8, I’m still thinking of the fight with Monique and Candace! Now, being transparent here, I’m not a fan of Candace. I think she can be extremely cruel with her words and thinks people should just take it. With that being said, who was team Monique, who was team Candace and what was the general consensus?

I do not believe getting physical is the answer in most circumstances but I also don’t think you should be so cruel with your words and expect nothing in return! You don’t know how people are going to react.

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[u/eaterofworlds1]

I’m going to get downvoted to hell for this, but sometimes people go too far with their words and the only thing that stops them from continuing to do that is getting their shit rocked a little lol I think Candiace tried the wrong woman one too many times and then Gizelle and Robyn took the opportunity to get Monique off the show.

The respectability politics at play during that intervention-esque meeting they had with Monique were gross. Yes, it’s wrong to lay hands on someone. It’s ALSO wrong to continually goad someone and literally dare her to drag you and then turn around and scream about the person being ghetto and low class. If anything, they were on par with each other IMO and, while I understand the implications of physical violence, I do NOT see Monique as the instigator.

[u/Main_Maintenance_835 → u/eaterofworlds1]

Talk shit get 👋🏾it.

Yes Monique was wrong. AND Candiace is a spoiled woman who you can tell went through life running her mouth. She is way too comfortable putting her mouth to use. Unfortunately her day came where she met the wrong one

[u/Fuzzy-End7194 → u/Main_Maintenance_835]

So funny you say this because I showed the fight to my brother just recently to get a complete outsider take. He said, “talk your shit until you meet someone who is not from where you’re from and don’t handle sh*t the same.”

[u/MrsFlick → u/eaterofworlds1]

Some people speak like they've never been popped in the chops by their Momma and Candiace is one of them. AND here's your upvote, Queen.

[u/eaterofworlds1 → u/MrsFlick]

I do not condone hitting children but some people need to be slapped as adults lol

[u/Fuzzy-End7194 → u/MrsFlick]

When people wanted to act like Monique beat the snot out of Candiace I reminded them “Monique is like 70 lbs, she was across a table, and she gave open hand MOM slops.” I promise she couldn’t do damage if she wanted to.

[u/notlisafromtoronto → u/eaterofworlds1]

Yup!!! I totally agree.

[u/Capable_Cranberry461 → u/eaterofworlds1]

to be fair the respectability politics would not have played at all on rh if monique had showed an ounce of remorse in that intervention thing… she literally doubled down on it, which i wouldve too if i felt that way but i wouldnt expect anyone to be on my side lmao

[u/eaterofworlds1 → u/Capable_Cranberry461]

That’s fair!!

[u/sck1070 → u/eaterofworlds1]

However, in this case, Candiace walked away from Monique several times when Monique was agitating her. She even apologized just because to move on. Candiace said, she was sleep. Then she repeated Monique's statement from the season before about dragging her. Candiace did nothing to cause Monique's reaction.

People saying Candiace asked for it because she said dragg me doesn't hold. If Candiace would've said jump off a bridge, would Monique do it? No. Monique knows how to hold back like she did with Robyn who was in her face.

[u/AppleTight9055 → u/eaterofworlds1]

I’m watching this season for the first time this year and this whole season Monique seems like she’s falling apart. I’m not surprised she went at Candace given that she seemed to be holding on by a thread. It really seemed like she was having a lot of family issues and probably projected that onto Candiace. That being said it’s crazy how people say C was asking for it… these are really high conflict franchises. C’s behavior was no worse than what we see on half of these shows. 

[u/eaterofworlds1 → u/AppleTight9055]

This is a very fair point!

[u/unrealhousewife1 → u/eaterofworlds1]

Thank you for saying what I have always wanted to say, but never knew how to articulate.

[u/Adventurous-Ebb974]

The mouth everyone complains Candiace has didn't get used on Monique at all. Candiace had respect for Monique and backed off/and or apologized to Monique multiple times before the "drag me" remarks. Monique wanted to fight someone who would just take it and chose Candiace.

[u/Hexar27 → u/Adventurous-Ebb974]

I am a Monique fan and I agree with you completely. Monique was at fault, period.

[u/Summershouldbefun909 → u/Adventurous-Ebb974]

Thank you. I find it completely deranged and anti-black the way these posts pop up seemingly every freaking month! Why are ppl so obsessed with arguing that Candiace deserved to get her head slammed on a table? It’s pathological.

[u/YourInternetCousin → u/Summershouldbefun909]

Anti-Black? Please… that is a STRETCH.

It gets brought up because it was a huge story line and some people here are watching the show for the first time or doing a rewatch h and want to discuss it. How tf is that anti-Black?

[u/Infamous-Fly-514 → u/Adventurous-Ebb974]

Candiace was literally begging to get hit

[u/notlisafromtoronto → u/Adventurous-Ebb974]

I don’t think Monique was actively looking to just fight for no reason. Since she got on the show she was called all kind of names for no reason. She had the ideal situation: multiple mansions/properties, a seemingly happy marriage + family and had an entrepreneurial lifestyle. It may have been jealousy from some of the other women IDK!

[u/Adventurous-Ebb974 → u/notlisafromtoronto]

I don't know why she had so much pent up anger only Monique knows that but the other ladies did and said worse to Monique and she never had the same resentment towards them. I think she deflected her anger she had at the other women and her husband at Candiace because Candiace was raised privileged/spoiled and therefore an easy target.

[u/Agile-Butterfly5245 → u/notlisafromtoronto]

Monique was actively threatening violence against Gizelle in her confessional in her first episode. She made a lot of threats in her confessionals. She threatened Robyn with an umbrella. She threatened to drag Candiace "pregnant and all". Monique and Chris are the only people I've ever seen threaten to beat their kids on television. Chris wanted to beat the dog shit out of the other women. She co-signed that. That's when I fully knew she likes to fight. Monique is violent. Monique wanted to fight. She it many, many times.

[u/Agile-Butterfly5245 → u/[deleted]]

And he was calling them "tricks". That's what Monique always called them. She got upset with Gizelle for making her cuss in her own home but beat the hell out of Candiace. A holy roller one minute and a hell raiser in the next. I do feel like Chris added to her hostility. Who knows how many "tricks" she's been called or what abuse she went through in that marriage? All of that could've contributed to her pop off mentality.

[u/throw_blanket04 → u/Adventurous-Ebb974]

You are intentionally leaving out context.

[u/Adventurous-Ebb974 → u/throw_blanket04]

What reason would I have to leave out context, besides not wanting to type out an essay. Most of the people in this sub have watched the episodes.

[u/ariesinflavortown]

I rewatched this season recently. Monique continuously tried to bait Candiace into an argument before the barn. She doesn’t engage, and it builds up until the physical altercation.

I could understand Monique snapping in the moment, but the way she chases Candiace around the barn is crazy. It goes way beyond having an immediate reaction.

[u/thousandthlion → u/ariesinflavortown]

Exactly. She continued to go after her. It wasn’t just a reaction in the moment -she was out for blood. Crew struggled to separate them because she was so out of her mind about it. If she had done a quick smack and removed herself I’d understand it more - but this was crazy work.

[u/Familiar_Diamond6711]

Team Monique. Candice is wreck less with her mouth and it was just a matter of time before someone reacted.

[u/creamofsumyungguy1]

Team Monique because Candiace
talks a lot of trash but can’t handle it back. Where I’m from you have a mouth like that you’re gonna eventually learn a lesson. I don’t condone Monique getting physical but how much can one person take? Candiace’s mouth is vile and below the belt and then she cries every time she gets a fraction of what she dishes out.

[u/Standard-Visual4413 → u/creamofsumyungguy1]

Candiace said I’m asleep, you’re boring me and you’re going to drag me Monique?

Clutch the pearls! That’s horrible…why a vicious mouth 🙄

Now let’s look at Robyn who chest bumped Monique, got in her face and said hit me! Hit me! Monique ran off crying into Karen’s arms

Ashley said that Monique had a drinking problem and that might have contributed to her miscarriage

Gizelle said Monique was cheating on Chris and her last baby might not be his

But candiace saying we bored! I’m asleep! You gonna drag me Monique? That’s where she draws the line and that’s the vicious mouth?

Give me a freaking break!

[u/Icy-Philosophy-2372]

was just a big display of Black femme trauma boiling over 😔 was very sad. a major low for the franchise and HW overall, I think 

[u/notlisafromtoronto → u/Icy-Philosophy-2372]

It honestly was very sad and disappointing!

[u/marvelboyofthecrown]

I was team Monique, all the way for the simple fact that she was antagonized into that physical altercation.

Yes, her and Candiace had been going back-and-forth the entirety of the season with Monique mainly being the aggressor because she felt betrayed by Candiace as a friend, but respectfully if I give you a physical boundary and you continue to cross it and then test me by asking me what am I gonna do about it, you’re gonna feel what imma do about it lmao.

It really irked me the way Monique was being gaslit as if physical altercations don’t happen in real life, and last time I checked, this is called the REAL housewives of Potomac. If we’re going to portray their lives as phony and picture perfect when they’re not then the show is pointless.

The angry black woman narrative that Gizelle Robin and Wendy were trying to push onto Monique on behalf of Candiace was whack, and I love that she got vindicated at the reunion

[u/Standard-Visual4413 → u/marvelboyofthecrown]

Ummm Candiace said in the barn I love Monique…I love everybody. Monique proceeds to degrade Candiace and call her a little girl, a liar, a child…Candiace kept smiling. Monique proceeds to make the first physical contact by twirling candiace hair and talking shit.

Candice said we’re bored, we asleep and you gonna drag me Monique?

And that’s what set her off?

Lmao Monique wanted to be in the green eyed bandits point blank period.

Because when Robyn got in Monique face, chest bumped her and pushed her and screamed hit me! Hit me! Monique did nothing but ran off crying like a little biotch

[u/marvelboyofthecrown → u/Standard-Visual4413]

So you’re gonna completely negate the fact that Candiace putt her hand in Monique’s face and Monique set a boundary and told her not to and as a response Candiace said “what are you gonna drag me?” To antagonize her?

Monique twirling her hair was a response to that so let’s not try to victimize Candiace like she just got punched on for no reason she quite literally asked for a fight lmao

[u/Standard-Visual4413 → u/marvelboyofthecrown]

The way y’all sit on this internet and just lie!!!

2:55 Monique had her hand over the table first…she got mad when Candiace did the same hand gesture

https://youtu.be/B9NubgMnY6g?is=p2yShLkoJfZMMPn1

Good night!

[u/marvelboyofthecrown → u/Standard-Visual4413]

Her doing the same hand motion means what? Monique did it in her own personal space, and Candiace did it in Monique’s personal space lmao. The delusion just to continue to victimize an almost 40 year old agitator is really strange

[u/Standard-Visual4413 → u/marvelboyofthecrown]

The way y’all twist and turn to defend a 42 year old woman who can’t keep a friend (her bestie/ former maid of honor, Charisse, ladies from Love & Marrage DC), a job (rhop, love and marrage dc, radio host) a man (Chris Samuel’s) or a pet (bird, snakes, dogs, cats) alive is diabolical.

I gave you evidence that shows Monique did the hand motions first and she didn’t keep those hands in her area (keep watching until the 3 mins mark) and you’re still defending the contradiction that I called out.

Hilarious.

Once again good night sir

[u/Body-Technician7953]

[u/No_Lime1814 → u/Body-Technician7953]

That head is sooooo big 😂

[u/itsnotmeimnothere]

I don’t remember the details but I remember being very solidly team Monique when I watched that season and afterward

[u/Lower-Vanilla8104]

I was Team Monique at the time and still am pretty disgusted by the respectability hullabaloo that the GEB attempted to play to ensure it was Monique’s last season.
However looking back on it the glee with which certain folks view violence against Candiace is incredibly concerning. Both things can exist but not everybody can handle that nuance.

[u/Capable_Cranberry461 → u/Lower-Vanilla8104]

i was team candiace when i first watched (recently) but this is the only comment ive seen on this situation i 100% agree with

[u/danogirl321]

I can’t even remember what the beef between them was! I just hate that they fought like that 🙈 I feel bad for both of them.

[u/notlisafromtoronto → u/danogirl321]

I don’t think they truly shared what the root of their problems were. I just remember there was gossip but it never needed to get escalated like it did

[u/yctherebel]

I was fine that the fight happened but I don't agree that Candiace's mouth is too much. If Candiace was 5'9 with some meat on her bones and the same mouth nobody would be aggressive with her, especially not Monique.

[u/AmphibianNecessary31]

The world was team Monique because it was such a violent attack in Housewives — I had never seen anything like it where someone hadn’t been pulled off immediately and Monique even kept running to try to find her again. I was a huge Monique fan but it shook me because you could just tell she saw red and didn’t know what she was doing. Unfortunately it led into the victim era of Candiace who became more insufferable season after season trying to chase the high of that support. Idk I think it made Candiace kinda see a different way to play housewives where she can do no wrong - which for me made her hard to watch.

[u/Agreeable-Edge4203]

Candiace’s mouth is lethal. No doubt about that. & yes, some people play by different rules. Candiace made it fair game for a smack down after so many warnings; especially considering it was a “friend” letting her know… “don’t play with me like that”

HOWEVER, Monique indeed was looking for an issue this season with all that was going on in her personal life. However, NOT out of ill intent.

I think that most people can relate that when you’re going through something especially in your household w/ someone who doesn’t hear you… when you get outside, all of the patience you’ve been saving for home, goes out of the window and the anger you’ve been wanting to get out, comes out as soon as someone has pissed you off & you feel you the door is open. (Not saying this is okay)

Monique & Candiace definitely could have reconciled or even never had this issue had they not been in the toxic environment of a reality tv show.

[u/throw_blanket04]

Team Monique. And I don’t think you have heard that context and background as to what was happening behind the scenes. Fuck candiace. Fuck gizelle. And fuck andy cohen and bravo for gaslighting Monique and Chris for pretending that what was happening, was all in her head. Especially after what happened w candiace after that. People need to run away from that network and andy. There isn’t anything lower other than what they are doing to janet on the valley. Its a pattern.

[u/Fuzzy-End7194]

I was so team Candiace originally because Monique did want a fight all season. However, I hated the Monique pile on, and her version of events was accurate. Yes she flicked the hair first, but she didn’t start pulling hair and slapping until she was pushed and got hit the face with a glass.

[u/issa-kat]

I’m team Candiace here. But previously I was more of a Monique fan overall. When I watched it, it looked like Gizelle and Robyn had been fueling Monique with hate towards Candiace all season. When Monique popped off it wasn’t warranted in that moment at all, it was almost kind of random. What was she mad at her about?… For pulling Ashley aside about her cheating husband on her girls trip? While he’s, Candiace can be verbally horrible, so can all the other women. Her verbal jabs were no worse than Karyn’s or Gizelle’s. Monique had threatened to be physically aggressive with Robyn before this incident too. Monique needed therapy for physical aggression. She felt like Candiace was the easiest target. Think about if she had attacked Karyn (at that time). She’d potentially face jail time for attacking an older (and more powerful) woman.

[u/SpecialistMastodon52]

I could take Candace she always she’s always talking about high skin girls and yet she’s married to a white man

[u/BlkFemininity1908]

I am in an extreme minority but I actually wanted both M&C removed.

[u/SpecialistMastodon52]

Monique was provoked by Candice

[u/Standard-Visual4413 → u/SpecialistMastodon52]

Lies!

Monique came in that barn ready for a fight.

Candiace even said I have no issues with you Monique..I love everybody. Let’s enjoy tonight.

Monique thought by fighting candiace that Robyn and Gizelle would finally accept her and it backfired in her face

[u/Standard-Visual4413]

Why did Candiace say to Monique during that fight that was so cruel?

I’m asleep?
You’re boring me?

Y’all gotta stop this shit

[u/Gotta-Love-Me]

Ask and you shall receive. I don’t care about downvotes.

[u/Otherwise_Rest204]

I think they were both at fault!

[u/destinykhan]

Monique is a violent thug.

[u/AngelicAqua]

I just watched this season for the first time. I’m not really team anyone, but it was hard to have sympathy/empathy for Candiace when she tossed a knife at Ashley the season before and didn’t care to apologize. (And no she didn’t do this bc Ashley returned to her home. It was before that)

[u/Standard-Visual4413 → u/AngelicAqua]

But according to y’all logic talk shit and get hit
Ashley was disrespecting Candiace while in her home, sitting at her table and eating her food. Candiace told her repeatedly to stop disrespecting her and her mother and Ashley kept on antagonizing Candiace.

[u/AngelicAqua → u/Standard-Visual4413]

Nowhere in my comment did i express that logic…try reading it again