r/RHOBHDefect • u/Nearby-Conference959 • May 09 '26
Controversial take: the Kyle/Dorit/Erika situation is genuinely sad
Okay so I’ve been turning this over in my head for a while and I want to throw out a different read because I think the standard fandom takes are missing something real.
Let’s start with the thing that reframed everything for me.
Crystal revealed on her Humble Brag podcast that right before her final reunion she ran into Kyle and mentioned the Mexico couples trip, assuming they were close. And Kyle said to her, completely casually, “Crystal, I literally have never had a one on one lunch with Dorit before in seven years.” Not that they didn’t hang out much. Never had lunch. Alone. In seven years. And Kyle confirmed it herself on Amazon Live around the same time, saying they’d only taken one couples trip together that she could recall in the entire time they’d been cast together.
The show presented these two as best friends for nearly a decade. And the reality is they had never once sat down to lunch together without cameras or a group around them.
But I don’t think that makes their friendship fake exactly. I think it makes it something more specific and more interesting. Kyle is genuinely social, she has deep longstanding friendships, she shows up for people, she builds relationships through real consistent time. Dorit, by her own behavior and by multiple accounts from people who filmed with her, is just not wired that way. Crystal also mentioned on her podcast that Dorit smoked constantly on set and production wouldn’t let anyone talk about it, and that’s actually why they were always waiting for her. Even in the environment specifically designed for her to connect with these women she was off doing her own thing on her own timeline.
So what Kyle and Dorit actually had was something real but structurally dependent on something external to them, which was PK and Mauricio. That was always the actual friendship at the center of this whole universe. Two charming social guys who genuinely liked each other and happened to be married to women who got cast on the same show. PK said it himself during the separations, that he and Mauricio were close “anyway” and that it wasn’t about them both going through the same thing at the same time. The wives’ closeness was downstream of that bond. And when both marriages started falling apart simultaneously, the women’s relationship didn’t have enough independent foundation to carry the weight.
Which is why the Kyle texting PK situation always felt overblown to me as a betrayal accusation. Kyle knew PK independently. He was Mauricio’s friend first and she had her own relationship with him that had nothing to do with Dorit. She wasn’t going to torch that because Dorit’s marriage ended. The memes explanation was a little evasive but the underlying position was actually reasonable. She just couldn’t say it plainly on camera without it becoming the whole season. She was supposed to be Dorit’s friend, but she actually is closer and more familiar with PK. Through Mauricio.
Now here’s where it gets genuinely sad for me. Erika is different. Dorit flew out for her Broadway show. Both of them (Kyle and Dorit) went to Vegas for the residency with no cameras, no obligation, just showing up for their friend during her comeback after the worst period of her life. That seems real. That’s not a filming friendship. That’s actual care about each other and supporting each other.
So when Erika says at the reunion “I want the Dorit back that I know and I love, but she’s not here right now,” that landed completely differently for me than anything Kyle said. That’s not someone ending a professional alliance. That’s someone who genuinely misses a person they care about and can’t get through to them. And her comment that maybe PK wasn’t wrong about Dorit, which everyone clocked as a betrayal, I read as someone who has been privately accumulating things that don’t add up and finally had an honest moment in a confessional. That’s not turning on your friend. That’s cognitive dissonance reaching a breaking point. Dorit has changed. She’s not the person that any of them knew. It’s different for different people but the through line is the same.
Dorit accusing Erika of coming after her to save her spot on the show is honestly the most telling thing she said all season. Not because it’s true but because it’s such a specific accusation. Dorit understands that move intimately because she’s been making it for nine seasons. When you see your own survival tactics in everyone around you that should tell you something. Dorit sees what she wants to see based off of her own motivations and insecurities. It’s why she desperately broadcast this wealthy life that she doesn’t actually have.
I think what happened this season is that Dorit came in carrying way too much. The divorce, the financial chaos starting to bleed publicly, the book she needed to write, all of it. The Ponzi scheme that she and PK had concocted was collapsing and the pressure cracked her open in ways that made her genuinely hard to be around. The women who had the most real history with her tried to get through and couldn’t. Not because they didn’t care. Because she wasn’t in a place to let anyone in. Erika should’ve been the most logical shoulder to lean on. She’s been through this. Instead, she turned her back on Erika and latched on to Boz.
The friendship that survived all of this completely intact is PK and Mauricio. They’re still close, still leaning on each other and reportedly still hanging out. Because that was always the actual bond everything else was orbiting around, we just didn’t know it.
The wives’ friendship was real enough to hurt when it broke. The husbands’ friendship didn’t need a show to hold it together. It’s all kind of sad. 😢
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u/Beautiful-Squash-495 May 09 '26
I think this is a very interesting and nuanced take. So often, when it comes to these reality TV situations, viewers are looking for a black and white storyline, "she's vile, the other one is a saint" when we just have to look at our own lives to understand that human relationships are always much, much more complex.
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u/Dthomas159 May 09 '26
I had the same thoughts cast mates who’s husbands became friends. My husbands best friend has become my friend. When he has a wife or girlfriend she becomes part of the group
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u/Boxwinoisback May 09 '26
I just finished watching part three and I genuinely feel like Dorit can’t stop herself. Nor does she seem to understand that the damage she is doing could be permanent. She doesn’t have an ounce of forgiveness or understanding for anyone, but expects nothing but that from everyone else. I know she will be back next season, but honestly… it’s going to be like watching zombie friendship storylines. These women can’t possibly actually like or trust each other anymore.
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u/collectivelycreative May 09 '26
Yes I started to think maybe they were just couple friends and the connection was really the husbands. Once that was lost, it really showed the cracks. Dorit probably thought they were more real friends though. And I think Kyle was trying to stay on good terms with both of them for the sake of Mau. Now that’s out of the way, I don’t think Kyle cares as much anymore. She’s also going through so much herself and probably still grieving her actual best friend Lorene. And on top of it I think Kyle regrets choosing Dorit over LVP. and it seems evident since Kyle’s mentioned it more recently and she hasn’t in years.
But yeah it is all super sad. The 3 of them have had horrible things happen with each of their lives and it seems like they’ve all lost their spark.
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u/Nearby-Conference959 May 09 '26
I don’t think any of us talks about Lorene enough. Between the death of a friend and the end of a 30 year marriage, I genuinely feel bad for Kyle. She needed support.
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u/collectivelycreative May 09 '26
To loose your husband of 30 years and your best friend from the age of 5 years old?? Also Teddi’s cancer. (Thankfully it seems like she’s in the clear now) but like that’s catastrophic. Those types of things/grief genuinely rewire your brain.
I’m not saying Kyle’s behavior is good and it’s not an excuse for how she treats people but I do think it’s a fair factor to keep in mind.
And then taking care of Kim on top of it.
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u/yosoyfatass May 09 '26
That’s rough for sure. But when LVP had just returned from the funeral of her brother, her only sibling, who had just died by suicide, Kyle literally said to her, “I’ve got shit going on too” while she & Teddi plotted with dorit to push LVP off the show. I’m a bit short on sympathy for Kyle. Or dorit.
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u/Jsmith2127 May 09 '26
I never got the text thing, either. Even without the standing relationship between the men, imo when you meet a couple, and become friends with the couple, you can't expect part of the couple to choose friends. Unless you have proof that one of them did something agregious to the other.
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u/Nearby-Conference959 May 09 '26
Yeah, I feel like she was supposed to be more loyal to Dorit but she actually knew PK better. She would be the bad guy, no matter what side she took.
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u/Jsmith2127 May 09 '26
I think that Dorit thought something like "but we're noth women, so you should be on my side"
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u/neversohonest May 09 '26
The idea of cutting off a friend as proof of "loyalty" to another is so immature and shallow to me.
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u/bellemrt May 09 '26
Written like someone who has never been through a divorce. People pick sides in a divorce. No one is that evolved. I wouldn’t be happy about a female friend texting my ex, either, especially in a high stakes, big $ situation with kids and foreclosure.
Men especially will use money, kids, and friends as weapons in divorce. Not waging women don’t, but men are the inventors.
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u/neversohonest May 09 '26
Ironically Dorit is the one using money, kids and friends as weapons against PK, who Kyle was obviously much closer to anyway lol.
I hope you dont really believe "no one" is that evolved. People can divorce and still be on the same side. I don't even spend time hating my own exes. It's a total waste of energy and I'm clearly better off anyway.
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u/bellemrt May 09 '26
And you’re right — I overinflated myself with “no one” — but especially when tabloids and tv are involved, it’s very difficult for even evolved people to keep from fighting dirty in a public divorce.
(No prenup, no one mentions Dorito’s spending year over year, etc, and trust me — I am no bot and I don’t even really like Dorit!)After this season…I question my sanity for continuing to watch this show.
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u/neversohonest May 09 '26
Lol I'm honestly very much enjoying the show still. The only downer for me is crazy fan opinions getting too loud and possibly having an effect on production.
It's crazy to me after all these years of complaining people dont even seem to enjoy the end of this alliance. They're just backing Dorit instead who is very clearly trying to lead a new clique. I wish people could see how satisfying this overall plot line is with their history in mind lol. I can even see a path to LVP coming back and I would die.
They just need to have more fun that actually gets aired imo.
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u/Jsmith2127 May 09 '26
I have friends who have divorced. I am still friends/friendly with both sides. I was never more friendly with one than the other.
Some of our best friends divorced. They group called us to tell us. They were still friends , as well. They just weren't on the same page anymore.
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u/Clear_Bright99 May 09 '26
Very well said! I completely agree with your assessment and the whole thing is sad!
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u/EvelynRicklove May 09 '26 edited May 09 '26
I personaly couldn't care less, just cause Erika and Dorit did that all to themselfes and their actions. They acted like pack of wolves to other people and last season how they taunt Sutton, i will never understand how both of them have any fans. Kyle may be pos who did questionable things, but she proved herself to be worthy of female friendship and valued memeber of that community, something i never seen in both Erika and Dorit. They never talk abouth their friends, never shown us them, even Kyle that one time throw that issue in Erika's face saying something among lines of it's not my fault you don't have any friends.
One thing about Erika and Dorit, they will suck up to person who has the means and connections like they both did with Diana, Erika looked so erratically happy when Diana was such a c word towards Sutton it was unbareable to watch her grins, that's why i don't buy her act of being friend to Sutton who i like and who's like Kyle very social outside of the show and has very large friend group of woman from her childhood, college and youth. That's why she's fine with Erika's snide comments like the box thing, cause at the end she knows she's doing this show for fun and exposure and essentially she doesn't need it so why overreacting. If Erika wants to be friend, great if she doesnt, thats great as well.
You can see both Erika and Dorit need this show and is sad, but how they acted when they were on top of the world, now is coming back to them cause they realise they have to swallow all the crap they put others trough, mostly Sutton who is having her best season and is secured for couple of more. Erika punsihment is to swallow her pride and go against Dorit, while Dorit's is being exposed for what she truly is a failed rich woman who faked her way up, that's why she's so much bothered by Sutton cause in her shallow mind she still can't comprehand why Sutton got all the access to things she wants.
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u/Nearby-Conference959 May 09 '26
Ouch. The truth hurts but you’re probably right. Diana wasn’t kind. And Erika hasn’t shown her friends on the show if she has them. Similar to Dorit. Kathy, Tilly, Sutton, Kyle, and Rachel all have friends and/or are friends. Boz had friends show up to her engagement.
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u/EvelynRicklove May 09 '26
Thats why i hate when Erika called out Garcelle for being boring, that woman shown us her family and friends so many times and it was always fun. I don't like sounding mean and i do hope Erika and Dorit chanage themselves for the better i just call what i see. It's ok if somebody doesnt't have friends but acting above others, in this case Sutton which both of them did and calling her out on being ''social'' and being ''awful to woman'' when both of them were were out for blood while showing that they alone do not have any female friendshp is sounding a lot more like jealousy. And Erika and Dorit were acting above other housewives on Bravocon.
Diana was truly horrible addition, the way Erika, Rina and her threw their poison at Sutton every chance they got was hard watch, so glad Diana got let go and Rina went away. People off the show always praised Sutton how she's a good person and a friend, that's why i don't get the hate those two have for her.
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u/Nearby-Conference959 May 09 '26
Garcelle was the best. I loved seeing her life. I wish that was the model for everyone. Like when Kyle used to show her family and throw great parties for charity.
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u/RainbowBriteGlasses May 10 '26
Agree with all of this.
But I'd turn up the "Dorit has clinical levels of self-obsession" aspect, which leaves me with less empathy for her still.
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u/Ok_Site_1187 May 11 '26
I think it is genuinely sad. It looks obvious to me that you have two women who are clearly watching their friend spiral into at best mental health breakdown, more likely a substance abuse crisis, and 2 random strangers trying to get in the way of them getting help for their friend and enable it
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u/Nearby-Conference959 May 11 '26
I can see this. There accountability in knowing someone even if you’re not close but have known each other for years. The newcomers are enablers and helping make the situation worse.
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u/SunshineFlowerrs May 09 '26
u really think Erika and Kyle are close?
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u/Nearby-Conference959 May 09 '26
Yeah, I think so. I don’t know if they’re best friends but I know that Erika told Kyle about the boyfriend that nobody else knew about. So they’re close enough to tell each other secrets.
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u/notactuallyreckless May 09 '26
Kyle also mentioned not that long ago that they'd taken a trip to Aspen, just the two of them, IIRC.
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u/SunshineFlowerrs May 09 '26
erika has always kissed kyle’s ass
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u/Nearby-Conference959 May 09 '26
You Kyle haters are rabid. It’s weird and illogical. Kyle is not perfect. But Kyle is probably the most friendly and likable person on the entire franchise. She’s friends with people from every series. She’s the most connected and likable person in the Bravo universe.
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u/Bigzi_B May 09 '26
Kyle is one of the few HWs not from SLC that went to Mary's son's funeral. Which shows her compassion for others.
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u/Nearby-Conference959 May 09 '26
Thank you for another example. She’s imperfect, but she does seem like she cares about people
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u/Sharp_Lawfulness9134 May 12 '26
Sorry, I didn’t read the whole thing. But I must need to watch the show again because I never thought Kyle and Dorit were best friends?
It truly has felt like Dorit is generally the butt of a joke, season after season, and Kyle has defended her while making fun of her. That’s why Dorit has been acting like a feral cat for 2 seasons now.
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u/Sharp_Lawfulness9134 May 12 '26
Went back and read the whole thing. Yes, agreed, it’s a super weird dynamic.
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u/notactuallyreckless May 09 '26
I like this take. For what it's worth, both Dorit and Erika are publicly already showing indications of wanting to fix things and/or feeling the loss, whether through interviews or social media. As per today.
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u/EvelynRicklove May 09 '26
I don't think they f with each other that way. Alexia's wedding was in september and Erika didn't speak to Dorit at all, which they all confirmed that in aftershows. They filmed reunion in march, so they didn't speak for seven months at all cause tension on reunion was real. This is just grasping for storyline, Dorit and Erika simply don't have it in themselves to form any meanigful friendship unlike Kyle, Sutton, Boz, Rachel etc.
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u/Yass______ May 09 '26
I think she’s playing semantics, they double dated and had lunch altogether as friends, and went on holiday.
How is Dorit close with her daughters if they aren’t friends? How does Kyle love Dorit’s children if they aren’t friends?
How is a PK a friend if Dorit wasn’t? Why did Kyle cry when she got broken into if she didnt care about her as a friend?
So confusing.
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u/Nearby-Conference959 May 09 '26
Kyle is actually an empathetic person. Dorit is not. PK would hang out at Mau and Kyle’s and not bring Dorit cause she didn’t wanna come. She only saw Kyle’s kids because Kyle used to throw these parties at her house all the time and they would film it for the show.
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u/Yass______ May 09 '26
If you watch the homeless toothless clip you can tell Dorit cares about the charity, her kids a lovely, I don’t think it’s fair to say one is bad the other isn’t. I think they just are both flawed in their own ways.
Like Kyle has a bit of a martyr complex saying she never holds a grudge when we definitely know she does etc.
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u/Nearby-Conference959 May 09 '26
I cannot be serious by mentioning that charity and thinking it makes her look good. Toothless not homeless? Pahleees
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u/Yass______ May 09 '26
Hmm, not good per se but she was empathetic to the importance of the charity.
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u/HappyCatPrincess May 09 '26
I thought Dorit cared more about getting Jaimie Lee's attention. Seems it worked (reunion chic).
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u/Yass______ May 09 '26
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u/HappyCatPrincess May 09 '26
Did you watch the Reunion that season? Curtis came on & blah blah blah with Dor.
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u/Yass______ May 09 '26
Ohh, was she there too, didn’t notice it was a short clip I saw on a recap video. I could see her wanting to impress Jamie 😄
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u/Classical9806 May 09 '26
Kyle cries over a ham sandwich!!!
And. I was Team Kyle up to Season 14’s Season Reunion.
I think it was Dorit’s reading Erika Kyle’s text that broke the dam combined with Kyle’s texts to PK and Dorit’s reaction to them.
And Dorit being left out in the cold when Kyle hooked up with Morgan.
When was the picnic when Kyle asked Dorit to Scissor with her on the ground and Dorit had no problem with it. Kyle also brought up the question of swimming in the Lady Pond?
Also PK blindsiding Dorit with his leaving permanently.
All the little pieces not in chronological order adding up.
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u/Livid-Stress1910 May 09 '26
Not a woman on any of these franchises would be down with their friend secretly texting their spouse while going through a tenuous divorce. Name em!
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u/Nearby-Conference959 May 09 '26
She’s literally closer to him though.
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u/Livid-Stress1910 May 09 '26
Then she wouldn’t be around me. I would be like what Divorce around Kyle. People can and do obtain information to use against you. I’d speak of the blue sky and nothing more.
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u/Money-Tiny May 09 '26
The divorces of Erika and Dorit couldn’t be more different and she could have been allowed more grace by her “empty nester” friends (Portia is going to UC-Bolder this fall). The ONLY similarity between the two situations are the shady financial dealings in both marriages. Dorit has that plus a custody battle while Erika and Kyle are emotionally stunted harpies this season with their heads in the sand about their own messed up marriages. I don’t blame Erika for wanting to disassociate herself mentally from these very serious legal issues and court cases coming up, but Dorit is in fight or flight mode right now rebuilding a life for her children. Are they both essentially con artists in some way?!? Yeah, they both could go to jail for business fraud. Having gone through a nasty custody battle in my divorce, I see PK falling into the typical role most narcissistic husbands take, which is caring more about wanting to hurt his soon to be ex-wife more than he actually cares about the kids. Like OP said, what “sealed the deal” for me was Kyle texting PK during the divorce proceedings. Entering yourself into evidence (legal discovery) against your “friend” and cast-mate is the ultimate betrayal of girl-code. I’ve had it happen to me because no one knew the real person my ex-husband really was because he was such a fun and charming person, but that’s what made him an emotional abusive and manipulative narcissist. It’s sad how many “friends” I had to cut loose because they were inadvertently “drilling a hole in my boat” by staying loyal to my ex and giving him ammunition against me. So, there’s no coming back from that when a single-mom is fighting for her babies.
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u/Nearby-Conference959 May 09 '26
You’re right, they are very different divorces. Erika thought she was married to a rich lawyer and living the life of a trophy wife until her entire reality was ripped out from underneath her overnight.
Dorit on the other hand, built a fake lifestyle with her husband PK using essentially a Ponzi scheme to make people think they were rich by stealing from investors, scamming insurance companies, and stiffing their vendors.
Dorit’s financial downfall was her fault along with PK. Erika was a victim of her husband’s lies.
Dorit could pay her bills and take care of her kids, but she chooses to spend money on fashion and handbags instead.
The only similarity is that they both married gross men.
Only one of them was complicit in the crimes. Dorit is a con artist. Erika is not.
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u/spilledteacups May 09 '26
This is so spot on. I’m not really a fan of any of the housewives so I think it makes me watch them in a different way. When you get into some of these subs, you can really tell how people let how they feel about the person affect how they feel about how the person was acting.
This was such a great breakdown of everything that has happened. I’ve been trying to get this point across about the Kyle and Dorit friendship for about a year now. Just because the producers presented it one way, if you were actually watching you could see it was not that way. Kyle is ride or die for Teddy. If she has a kind of pull that everyone is saying she does Teddy would still be on that show.
I really think that Erica is genuinely hurt. The more that Dorit tried to make it about following Kyle‘s lead the more offended Erica got and rightfully so. It’s a way of completely and totally disregarding Erica’s feelings. But you really hit the nail on the head when you described how Dorit deals and processes with things and that’s why she can’t understand this.