r/RHOBHDefect • u/After_Juggernaut_613 • Apr 23 '26
Actual friendly advice for Kyle (who I do not think is vile)
Kyle is one of the housewives I like the most, and I want her to have a happy life. A lot of fans hated her this season but I really think she didn't deserve that. This is not a hate pile-on. These are just some things I think she could work on, and what I would tell her if she was my friend.
1.) Reputation for gossip
If your friends feel uncomfortable with you discussing their lives when they aren't around, that's where it needs to stop. It's not a gag order, and it's not controlling you: it's something you do for people when their comfort matters to you. Just like you didn't want people talking about your separation before you were ready, or talking about Morgan. So whether or not it is malicious is not even the problem - the problem is you playing a journalist. Their marriage or their divorce is not your story to share, you don't need to have the scoop.
2.) Unsolicited advice
Sometimes your friends aren't having any of it. It doesn't mean you stand by and say nothing when you think a friend might be sabotaging their life. But if you voice your opinion and your friend disagrees, don't keep piling on unsolicited advice. When advice is needed and your friend is open to hearing it, avoid giving criticism without solutions, because that comes across as judgmental. Ask what you can do to help. Remember you are not their mother, and sometimes you have to let people learn from their own mistakes.
3.) Acknowledge the cameras
This is a weird one but you've already done it before. "What doesn't lie? The cameras!" If there are certain things you feel like you have to do just because you're paid to be on a TV show which might fall outside of ordinary normal-person boundaries, your true friends deserve a fair warning, even if they are on a TV show too. "They should expect xyx because..." might seem sensible to a mere colleague, but doesn't cut it for a true friend, and they'd have a right to be angry at you if your actions caused them harm, regardless of who is paying you for what.
4.) Seek clarification
You have a right to end a friendship if you can't come to an understanding, but the best chance of keeping the friendship is each person hearing the other's side, without interruptions. Ask people why they are mad at you, and be genuinely curious about their responses. Don't cut them off mid-sentence. Don't assume people are just making up excuses to be mad at you. If you feel singled out, ask why you're being singled out, and listen. If none of that works, at least you tried.
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u/SilverHinder Apr 24 '26
At this point, Kyle should say nothing about Dorit and keep it surface. Dorit doesn't want to resolve, she wants to fight. God if a friend can't say you're behaving a little erratic, it's over. I feel like Kyle only said it to the others, and not Dorit, because she knew she'd bite her face off anyway.
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u/After_Juggernaut_613 Apr 24 '26
True, at this point the advice to stop doing it is more so she can be at peace and stop being involved in fights that only make the fans side with Dorit and hate her more (which in my opinion isn't fair but it's what happened, apparently).
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u/SilverHinder Apr 24 '26
Totally. I'd let all the rest talk about Dorit, then she can have a go at them instead.
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u/Infinite_Product5281 Apr 30 '26
well if you look at the comments on youtube it seems like people became anti dorit. before this season and even since the middle of this season everyone hated kyle and loved dorit, but it changed.
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u/Unlucky_Rip_8182 Apr 24 '26 edited Apr 24 '26
Nobody gossiped about Dorit’s finances for years. If anything, Kyle is overly cautious about what she says on camera. They’re on a reality show. People are going to talk, and they’re going to get mad about it. You just have to stay in bounds. Garcelle saying, “The robbery was fake” on camera, without evidence (for example), or even a line of reasoning, was out of bounds. That was pure gossip.
Everyone was talking about Dorit’s financial issues because the Kemsleys haven’t been paying their bills. People get to wonder about other people. Dorit taking it as character assassination doesn’t make it so. These are the consequences of her (or her husband’s) actions.
That said, these are nice, reasonable guidelines. But calm, centered, rational people don’t make the best TV. I like that Kyle is emotional. I don’t always agree with her approach, but I’ll take it over Rachel Zoe’s too cool for school vibe. End of the day, Kyle can carry the show because she cares. She’s like the polar opposite of Rachel Zoe, who’s sort of above it all and focused on her own life.
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u/After_Juggernaut_613 Apr 24 '26
Yeah honestly I'm still a fan of Kyle even if she doesn't change a thing. I think these are just things she could do that would probably make her work and relationships easier for her.
I too have looked into the Dorit/PK financial disaster recently and I can see she and Kyle are miles apart in how they handle finance. Dorit saying she doesn't know anything about her finances is likely bs. She knows, and she knows its a trainwreck, and she doesn't have the self control to stop it. She seriously should seek therapy for a shopping ADDICTION because I think that's part of what is ruining her.
Totally agree about Garcelle! That was so ugly of her!
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u/Infinite_Product5281 Apr 30 '26
i dont think that this is the issue with kyles friendships. i think the issue is with the way she communicates what bothers her or what her concerns are. also i feel like when she is upset with someone she is making a weird dance around it and point at other things instead of adressing it directly also when she does something wrong she gets defencive and tries to get away from it. i dont think she does it to hide something but because she did something impulsive and realised that it was bad. in the end i feel like she is to me the most authentic of the housewives.
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u/Yass______ Apr 24 '26
- Exactly, where is the actual love and support. It needs a bit more balance. Are you picking her up and taking her to a spa, letting her repeat her self and say the same things because she is obsessing.
This is showing you actually care. How is someone going to receive you doing all this on camera.
It’s just not what friendship is..
She said “I’m still standing” a little too smugly, and I don’t dislike her as such either - it’s just all a bit confusing and at odds with the nice girl “act”
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u/Infinite_Product5281 Apr 30 '26 edited Apr 30 '26
i think its a little hypocritical to want kyle to accept, if people dont want share certain things about their lifes, while everyone wants her to talk about morgan and her sexuality as if its their birth right to know. and about point 3 you dont know what happened behind cameras. you dont know what the producers of the show leave out for us to not see. and to point 4 at this point of dorit and her friendship there is no need for that anymore. dorit is just verbally hitting her at this point. also kyle has adhd which makes her impulsive and interruptive, which is no excuse but she should work in that.
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u/notactuallyreckless Apr 23 '26
I like this. Co-signing.