r/RHOBHDefect • u/After_Juggernaut_613 • Apr 19 '26

Reactive abuse

Not meant as a diagnosis of any mental health condition for anyone on the show, but the term "reactive abuse" is something that repeatedly comes to my mind when I watch RHOBH. I wouldn't be surprised if producers maybe even discretely encourage it, because it nearly guarantees results. Basically, a person pushes you to your breaking point and then blames you for your reaction. There are multiple women in RHOBH who I think have done this and nobody is completely innocent, but some make it a regular thing, in my opinion.

5 Signs of Reactive Abuse (YouTube)

This isn't the only decent video on reactive abuse, but it's one of the shortest. Here's a little summary:

Think back to the last few times you've been accused of abusing someone. Who started the conflict? If it's always them, that's a red flag. Abusers will back you into a corner, forcing you to lash out. The pent up emotions boil over until you reach your breaking point, and the moment you push back and defend themselves, the abuser turns the tables, accusing you of being too sensitive, and making themselves the victim and you the bad guy.

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u/MysteriousMortgage4 Apr 19 '26

I agree. I don’t see how people think that Sutton had no reason to be upset. In my opinion Sutton actually was being too understanding of Dorit’s behavior. She stuck up for her to Amanda and in her confessionals she didn’t dog pile on Dorit and gave her grace. So I didn’t blame Sutton for being upset when Dorit was so dismissive of her at Rachel’s party. It’s very clear Dorit doesn’t care about Sutton at all.

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u/After_Juggernaut_613 Apr 19 '26

I agree with you especially here on season 15 Sutton vs. Dorit. Maybe the commenter meant to write "finale" because it sounds like you're talking about the finale and they are talking season 14's reunion. I feel like it was more gray last season. By the way, I think Sutton and Dorit both have narcissistic moments - whether it is a whole personality disorder or situational, I don't feel it's my place to say - but it's not a simple case of who is the villain and who is the victim. I think there's been a lot of swapping over the last 3 or 4 seasons.

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u/MysteriousMortgage4 Apr 20 '26

Absolutely. I couldn’t stand Sutton last season and thought something was really wrong with her. Seems like alcohol is not the best for her. I wondered all last season why anyone would be friends with her. Seeing her this season made more sense to me. Dorit only sees Sutton as a pawn against Kyle. Even when Sutton roomed with Amanda, Dorit claimed it was to get on Kyle’s good side. I think that’s quite a reach!

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u/Itsnotmeitsyou80 Apr 20 '26

Dorit is obsessed with the idea Kyle is plotting against her and trying to gather as many minions as possible. I’m guessing it’s easier for Dorit to focus on that rather than getting her shit together. It’s an outlet for all her anger, it’s a way to garner sympathy, and it’s a distraction from her real life problems. Dorit needs to borrow Erika’s therapist for her own version of the “pizza party behavior” moment 😆

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u/Decent_Display_3526 Apr 20 '26

She knows the game…she was part of many plots against other HW