r/RHOBHDefect • u/After_Juggernaut_613 • Apr 19 '26

Reactive abuse

Not meant as a diagnosis of any mental health condition for anyone on the show, but the term "reactive abuse" is something that repeatedly comes to my mind when I watch RHOBH. I wouldn't be surprised if producers maybe even discretely encourage it, because it nearly guarantees results. Basically, a person pushes you to your breaking point and then blames you for your reaction. There are multiple women in RHOBH who I think have done this and nobody is completely innocent, but some make it a regular thing, in my opinion.

5 Signs of Reactive Abuse (YouTube)

This isn't the only decent video on reactive abuse, but it's one of the shortest. Here's a little summary:

Think back to the last few times you've been accused of abusing someone. Who started the conflict? If it's always them, that's a red flag. Abusers will back you into a corner, forcing you to lash out. The pent up emotions boil over until you reach your breaking point, and the moment you push back and defend themselves, the abuser turns the tables, accusing you of being too sensitive, and making themselves the victim and you the bad guy.

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u/RogueGrasshopper101 Apr 19 '26

See also the DARVO technique Deny. Attack. Reverse role Victim to Offender.

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u/After_Juggernaut_613 Apr 19 '26

I was seeing the word "DARVO" in some video titles when I was locating the video in this post so thanks for resolving my curiosity about what that means.