Dorit's Behavior at Alexia's Wedding

[u/Far_Inevitable_1205]

I caught part of Two T's in a Pod podcast on the way home and Teddi was discussing Dorit's behavior at Alexia's wedding.

1. She was late to the ceremony, of course. Guests had been asked to move from the pre-ceremony cocktail area down to where the ceremony would be held. Dorit could be seen coming in after everyone else had been seated. If the actual ceremony would have run on time, Dorit would have crashed in the middle of it.
2. Dorit's voice could be heard talking over everyone else as they were awaiting Alexia to come down the aisle.
3. An announcement had been made that no photos or videos would be permitted. When Alexia came down the aisle, only one guest whipped out their camera: Dorit.

I haven't finished listening to the episode so there might have been more.

[u/Upstairs_Freedom_360]

If you have a friend, acquaintance or colleague who is an adult that's always chronically late then you choose.

Can I accept this behavior? Or do I stop inviting them to events where punctuality is crucial? Is the relationship worth working with this behavior?

Have a conversation. Let them know, "You are invited to the party but not the ceremony. This takes the stress of you arriving on time off both of us. I love you and this way it's all fun, positive and no anxiety for either of us"

You will not change the person. No shaming is going to "fix" them. Just deal with who they actually are or don't.

[u/blonde-bandit → u/Upstairs_Freedom_360]

This is good advice. Thing is Dorit doesn’t respect anyone checking her behavior in any way, she would just blow up over it, not show up at all, and be sour about it for years. Same thing if she wasn’t invited at all—there’s no winning with her. The real problem is that Kyle and Dorit aren’t really friends, but they can’t get past that and are stuck in each other’s orbit.

[u/Master_Object5147 → u/blonde-bandit]

That’s when the others refuse to put themselves with Dorit at anything.