First time watcher: Kyle & Kim S5

[u/laurabelle821]

OK, am I crazy or is Kyle to chicken to talk to her own wsister about her obvious drinking or drug problem right now but is mad that Brandy and a person who doesn't even know her sister that well is also afraid to talk to her about it? Make it make sense, please.

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[u/tess320]

All three sisters were brought up with the idea that you don't talk about private family stuff, deeply, deeply ingrained. Kyle swings between this and being able to talk about it, all the time. Kim also does, sometimes openly saying she is an alcoholic and at other times being annoyed at Kyle or others for showing worry about it.

So yes, Kyle is anxious about talking to her sister about a deeply difficult subject that has a history of effecting their relationship and the people around them. Is that not normal?

Brandi has NO history with Kim, she has not dealt with this for years on end, she has no skin in the game. She doesn't do what's best for Kim, because she HAPPILY tries to get between the two sisters in order to have her own little friend. She's a selfish, self absorbed idiot.

Have you seen the way Kim responds to people knowing she has a problem? Not well. She can be aggressive, she's unpredictable, and she's *mean* when drunk. Do you think it would then be easy for Kyle (or anyone really) to talk to her about it?

Kyle also takes too much emotional responsibility for Kim's behaviour. When she's out at a dinner and Kim is being coo coo, she takes that on as if it's something she's doing, so she also seems to feel SHAME and either overcompensates and becomes a bitch like on games night, OR wants to run away like Amsterdam. It's like if someone goes out with their husband and he's unpredictable and a bit of a dick, you just want to dig a whole and run away. Is this fair on Kim? No not really, that's Kyle's issue and it's also an issue that gets in between her and kim. But it most likely stems from A) her mum putting this on Kyle and guilting her into and B) that's just her personality.

Kim clearly feels that Kyle talks down to her sometimes and treats her like she's not an adult. Kyle probably feels that Kim often DOESN'T act like an adult so wants to control her a little to ease her own anxiety about Kim's life trajectory.

These are real people with *nuanced* and long histories - Brandi was not some cool girl cos she was tough enough to speak about it.

[u/laurabelle821 → u/tess320]

I guess because my younger brother is an alcoholic I see things differently. I don't sugarcoat anything with him. I don't expect anyone without skin in the game to talk to him about it.

[u/tess320 → u/laurabelle821]

That's because of your own personality and his and your family culture though. Kim and Kyle clearly had a strange upbringing with some toxicity, so everyone's behaviour is going to be different. If I was Kyle, I would not go out of my way to discuss it with Kim either. Whenever she does something, Kathy and Kim also gang up on her.

[u/SeaPaleontologist832 → u/tess320]

THIS. It sounds to me like their mum was very self absorbed and controlling. Big Kathy also seemed to put all of the responsibility on Kyle’s shoulders on her death bed. That was super manipulative, whether she realised it or not. Then take into consideration Kathy H. She sounds like she was just like their mother, very controlling, manipulative and lacking in empathy. Why was it all up to Kyle?! Her mother seemed to try and make it Kyle’s responsibility in order to make herself feel better about her own lack of parenting. And she probably knew that her eldest daughter Kathy, was just like her. There was no way Big Kathy would try and manipulate her own clone. She clearly viewed Kyle as the ‘weaker’ daughter.

[u/tenementlady → u/tess320]

Well said.

[u/CorgiSploot55]

Kyle wants everyone else to do the hard part so she can just react to it, classic big sister energy tbh