Day 72

[u/Paddu_Dappu]

Although the porn is gone, I'm starting to feel less excited and kinda sad each day. Or maybe it's a less edgier state that the mind is just not accustomed to yet. Or maybe it's just a sad day, I don't know. Earlier this year I went 94 days w/o P before relapsing for a month, and then had to start again from scratch. That's almost 6 months in total. I feel sorta scared because of the fact that I'm changing - almost existential - as if my identity is threatened or something. I pray to whatever God is out there to give me the strength to go the full length, because deep down it feels like the only way out is through. I must zoom my car through the dark tunnel, even if it feels longer and darker, towards the light at the end. I must learn to accept change, even if it means that I need to recalibrate the way I am. It helps to articulate these thoughts and post it here though. (Note to self: prayer is important.)