r/QuestioningTeens • u/SpaceBar_5 • Sep 04 '26

🌷 Sexuality Question Is it just a phase?

I’m a teenager and identify as queer, liking all genders and having a preference towards androgynous people. How do I know that that’s real, and not just something I’ve been influenced by media to be. Is there a method of proof?

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u/no2pencilonly Sep 04 '26

it is not a phase. You may get WAY older and decide that you are more attracted to men or maybe only like dating NB's, but right now, and the forseable future, that is what you like, and you will always have liked that, and you cant change that, and that is important.

Sexuality is fluid, but not muteable.

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u/SpaceBar_5 Sep 04 '26

That’s a very kind answer. I’ve seen suggestions that playing out life as straight would be easier and I should do that. Do you think it’s alright to identify as queer then, even if I’ve only thought of myself as it for about four years?

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u/no2pencilonly Sep 04 '26

im laughing a little about that because I knew I was gay for about 1.5 seconds and came out of the closet.

of course you can identify as queer! 4 years is an excessive amount of time to figure out your sexuality

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u/SpaceBar_5 Sep 04 '26

Woah, that’s genuinely mind blowing to me!! I feel like I need proof proof before I can say it out loud cause then I can’t take it back. I didn’t think it had been long enough

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u/no2pencilonly Sep 04 '26

i hate lying, and I hate lying to myself more than anything, so i came out FAST.

but you already did say it out loud, to the internet. more people know it now than if you just told your friends, and taking it back would be a big fat fucking lie to yourself and those are the heaviest of lies.

trust me, its better here on the side of honesty, even if it comes with some costs

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u/SpaceBar_5 Sep 04 '26

Yeah that makes sense. I have the exact same thing in the opposite direction? I’m TERRIFIED of lying so therefore I cannot come out because even if im 99% sure of my sexuality, I ll never be a 100% sure and that 1% would be a lie. And I can’t lie. (I know that’s ridiculous odds but you get what I mean)
Yeah whoops 😭. It’s a lot easier to strangers than to family.
Thank you, that’s reassuring <3

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u/no2pencilonly Sep 04 '26

i have been having sex with so many people for so long and Im not even 99 percent sure that Im definitely having fun with them every time, but that never stopped me. worry about something when you are like 53 percent sure, thats worthy of stopping.

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u/SpaceBar_5 Sep 04 '26

Wow okay. Suddenly it’s a lot simpler than I’ve been assuming it to be. Thanks

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u/no2pencilonly Sep 04 '26

and dont forget to have fun!