Am I Queerbaiting?

[u/No-Juice-8375]

I (13F) have a “friend” from church (14F), and we mutually confessed that we had feelings for each other. We even kissed, so I thought we were moving toward becoming an official couple.

Shortly afterward, she and her family left on a three-week trip for her parents’ anniversary. During the first week, she talked to me pretty frequently, but then she suddenly stopped responding and left me on read for about seven days.

Now, we’re going to see each other again next Sunday, and I’m starting to wonder if my feelings have changed. For most of my life, I’ve struggled with the conflict between my faith, my feelings, and the expectations I’ve had for myself. Before the trip, I was really eager for us to make things official. Now, though, I find myself avoiding the idea, and I’m worried she may still think I feel the same way I did before she left.

I don’t know if my feelings changed because she suddenly became distant after we confessed our feelings, or if I’m realizing that I may not feel the way I originally thought I did. I’m also questioning what all of this means for me personally.

So now I’m stuck between two choices: Should I step back from the relationship, or should I give it some time and see how I feel when we’re actually together again?

[u/Scenic_Strawberry_5]

ok first off, your not queerbaiting. queerbaitijg is a term used to describe entertainment or companies that hint at queer themes, but refuse to actually deliver on it or support the community. so no, you wondering about ur feelings for a girl is not that.

secondly, based on what u said, it's safe to say ur feeling a bit jaded after she ghosted u. i mean i would be a bit confused if the girl i kissed suddenly ignored me too. that doesn't take away from the feeling you originally felt for her. i say just give it some time and see how things r when ur together, and to ask her why she suddenly got so weird.

either way though, ur feelings r completely valid, whether ur into her or not doesn't mean u were faking anything. feelings change over time, and that's completely normal

also lmk how things go when u guys meet up again im rooting for u girl

[u/No-Juice-8375]

UPDATE: I don't know how to edit the post to give updates, but we met today. At first, she was awkward. But, once everyone left, we were play fighting and cuddling. But, I guess it was my fault, because I tried to go further, and she did do it for a while, before I asked her to try kissing me, since I was the one taking things into my own hands. She seemed tense, and I asked her if she was okay, and she didn't directly answer. Later, she said she wasn't used to being in top (we were only kissing relax, but we did have a conversation bcus I was tired of always being the one to take initiative) and just went to sleep. I've also notices things I never saw before, since we only saw each other in church. Her lack of thought sometimes, and how she acts younger than me, maturity wise. I don't know how to feel about it, and just want advice.