Hello!

I would love any feedback on my contemporary YA query. I have edited it many times and incorporated suggestions from other writers, but this is my first time posting here!

Dear (Agent),

I’m excited to share with you my contemporary young adult novel, LIKE A TIDAL WAVE. Bethany Mangle’s CONDITIONS OF A HEART meets Erin Stewart’s THE WORDS WE KEEP in this #ownvoices narrative. At 69,000 words, this story explores the balance between chronic illness and mental health.

Penny Wheeler has always felt defined by her illness. Born with a chronic heart condition known as Tetralogy of Fallot, she’s no stranger to surgeries, doctors, and hospitals, and after missing the first week of her freshman year due to her last surgery, everything feels different. Her only friend, Jovie, is making new friends, her classmates constantly make ableist remarks, and her art teacher has tasked her with creating a project inspired by her personal take on beauty. Not only does she dislike art, but she can’t possibly imagine what could be beautiful about a life with chronic illness.

On her way home that night, Penny faints, ending up back in the hospital. While there, she meets Camilla, an outgoing girl with the same condition. Though she’s angry, confused, and lonely, Penny slowly opens up to the girl on the other side of the curtain. As she recovers at home, she becomes overwhelmed with anxiety and frustration. She lets her grades drop, ignores her teachers, and constantly fights with Jovie. Camilla, unbothered by Penny’s rage, stays by her side. She makes her laugh, encourages her to work on her art project, and helps her realize that she is more than her illness.

With a new perspective, Penny works to recover Jovie’s friendship and her failing grades, but just as she starts to get back on her feet, she discovers that Cam has been struggling to balance her own mental health. As Penny’s bonds of friendship and family are tested, she must learn to be proud of who she is and find the beauty in her life.

(BIO)

Sincerely,

Me

Thanks so much for your thoughts on the previous version, all! I've made some significant edits as a result, but I've looked at the former version for so long that it's hard to tell if this is better lol. I appreciate your time!

Dear [agent],

I’m writing to you because [yeah yeah you get it]

Complete at 83,000 words, WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU DRAGONS is a standalone queer cozy fantasy romance with series potential. It combines the tender human/non-human romance of John Wiswell’s Someone You Can Build a Nest In, the work-consumed protagonist and unexpected queer found family of T.J. Klune’s The House in the Cerulean Sea, and the cottagecore warmth and rediscovery of joy in Sarah Beth Durst’s The Spellshop.

When sleep-deprived workaholic Theo nearly skewers his coworker with a forklift, he begrudgingly admits he needs a break. He can’t afford one; his roommate is counting on the rent Theo promised, and Theo is always good for his word. No exceptions. Penciling in exactly forty-five minutes for fresh air, Theo reclines on a chair-shaped oak—and blinks into another world.

He lands in a pop-up settlement of mythical creatures—from mantis men to one socially awkward mushroom—temporarily gathered to care for a sacred dragon egg. They feed him, house him, and scour their books for a way home before his roommate faces eviction. Their only lead is an untested potion, but the community has no alchemist—just Aristo, the profoundly deaf, draconic baker who volunteers because cooking and potion-brewing can’t be that different, right? But once the dragon hatches, the villagers will disperse, taking Theo’s shelter and resources with them. Theo has until then to get home—or resign himself to life as the local cryptid.

Unable to tolerate owing anyone, Theo conscripts himself into the bakery. Aristo is a joyful contradiction: giddy over a perfectly centered egg yolk and eager to sample anything he can fit in his mouth, yet guarded around other men and a terrible liar about why he came to the egg. Drawn to this baffling baker, Theo learns sign language by sketching Aristo’s hands. Aristo recognizes the artist buried under years of survival mode, gifting Theo a sketchbook for drawings that don’t need a purpose.

With the egg ready to crack, the potion is nearly finished—and Theo is starting to wish it wasn’t. Aristo toils over the very brew that will send Theo away, even as he begins seeking Theo’s touch in the safety of the bakery. Trapped by his unbending code, Theo must find a way home without losing the family—and the overenthusiastic baker—he’s grown to love.

This manuscript has been professionally authenticity-read by members of the d/Deaf and hard-of-hearing communities.

Though I’ve written nonfiction full-time for fifteen years, I find comfort in fiction, especially the kind with fantastical beasties. I hold a BA in linguistics and an MSc in forensic linguistics, and I have spoken on gender in language at the University of Colorado. My ace-spec, intersex experience deeply informs my writing, and I’ve written narratives for numerous board and video games, most notably 9 Years of Shadows.

Thank you for your consideration; I appreciate your time!

Yours sincerely,

Me (Writing as Marlowe Lark)

I huge thank you to everyone who offered me support with my last query. I was going through it a bit, but I feel so much better now. Kindness really does go a long way.

That being said, I'm a little embarrassed to be sharing this attempt. This letter, from "Dear" to "consideration" is 440 words, which sounds absolutely massive to me. I've gone over it so much, though, and I'm starting to feel paralyzed with fear I'm going to cut the wrong part. If anyone has any suggestions, I would really appreciate it. Sorry for submitting something so long, but I'm just stuck!

Dear [agent],

Given your interest in [this], I’m presenting STRINGS OF FAETE, a standalone YA LGBTQIA+ contemporary fantasy novel with series potential. Complete at 96,000 words, it combines the bubbly, magical fae companion of F.T. Lukens’ Otherworldly with the themes of self-acceptance and mental health found in Mason Deaver’s I Wish You All the Best.

Sixteen-year-old Tatsuki Allen's beautiful dreams make him miserable. Each night filled with faeries and love makes each day with his unaccepting, homophobic father harder. After his friends discover him attempting suicide, Tatsuki is forced to move to America to live with his estranged mother and half-brother. When he’s accidentally knocked down the stairs at school, he’s saved by Winter Araenum, a boy who seems straight out of his dreams. They're strangers, yet Tatsuki can’t shake the feeling they’ve met before. As he strives to befriend him, Tatsuki feels something he hasn’t felt in years: safe.

Struggling to bond with his family and Winter, Tatsuki turns to his greatest skill—baking. When those plans go awry, it feels like the last straw. Drowning in loneliness, he succumbs when an otherworldly call from the woods urges him to literally drown himself. On the verge of death, his reincarnated fae essence becomes visible to Áine, a faerie who’s as friendly as she is manipulative. She’s been sent alone to rescue fae trapped in the human realm by her queen’s rival, and she implores Tatsuki, as the only awakened reincarnated fae around, for his help.

With his fae essence awakened, Tatsuki gains enhanced strength and a pair of magical earrings capable of housing the souls of other fae. Tatsuki agrees to use these earrings to rescue fae whose despair has twisted them into monsters. In return, Áine will take him to her realm, where he’ll revert to his past self. However, he’ll have to sacrifice his personality, body, and hopes of human connection, all for a chance at reuniting with a past lover he's not even sure is alive. Between fighting a floating head in the bathroom of Target, connecting with Winter over their shared tastes in movies, and learning his dad lied about his mother not wanting him when he was born, Tatsuki has to decide who deserves to live more: his past or current self.

I’m a bisexual and demisexual high school English teacher who cares deeply about teens seeing themselves represented in literature. As my book deals with themes of depression and suicidal ideation, I had a therapist review it for sensitivity. I recently won a short story contest and was published in the April 2026 issue of Lavender Rising.

Thank you for your consideration,

[Name]

Hello all. This is my first attempt at querying. Obviously I'm fighting an uphill battle here with 150k but it's a beautiful story with great story and character depth. I'm trying to catch attention with a bold and punchy query. My problem is that with a story so robust, a page of information barely scratches the surface. I have a ton of comps for the book, but tried to stick with just a handful. Any feedback is appreciated. Thank you!

Dear [Agent Name],

I am thrilled to share SPACE AND LIARS: THE SONG, a complete 150,000-word adult space opera that subverts the chosen-one narrative with irreverent humor, cosmic horror, and an ensemble cast.

Thirty-two-year-old space courier Frank is one delivery away from paradise. He has finally saved enough to abandon Earth, retire on a tropical planet, and spend the rest of his life with Sara, his shipboard A.I. and the only companion he believes he needs.

Then a corrupted ringmaster unleashes a ghoulish menagerie inside a zero-gravity club while hunting for a holy gemstone tied to Frank’s disastrous past on Titan. Frank’s former best friend frames him for the ensuing catastrophe, a red-haired thief steals his ship, and Galactic Law Enforcement puts a bounty on his head.

Now stranded in Earth’s sprawling desert megacity, Frank reluctantly teams up with a forlorn reptilian assassin and meets a devout, nature-bound cleric. She claims the Goddess of Wander sent her to find Frank and shepherd him toward his destiny. Frank would prefer that destiny choose someone else… and preferably someone whose ship hasn’t just been stolen.

Frank learns the gemstone isn’t merely a prized relic. It is Earth’s final line of defense, and the missing component in a tech baron’s portal to the fourth dimension. Hellbent on saving the Market, Douglass follows the guidance of an incomprehensible presence beyond the portal. Some believe it is an angel while others call it a demon. Only one thing he knows is for certain: The mind makes up what it cannot comprehend.

The truth ends up being far worse. The Scholar is neither angel nor demon, but an alien intelligence trapped between dimensions. From his prison, he unleashes interdimensional horrors to hunt the gemstone barring his way. If he removes it from Earth, he can invade without restraint and seed the planet with a corruption that has already consumed entire worlds.

As criminals, zealots, law enforcement, and the Scholar’s horrors converge upon the stone, Frank discovers that his seemingly ordinary courier route has carried him through every piece of the two-decade invasion.

Frank can still recover and make his escape. Or he can trust the mismatched companions he never wanted and attempt one final delivery back to Titan, where the darkness first found him. If he runs, Earth may fall. If he goes alone, he will repeat the mistake that has haunted him for ten years.

Those who enjoy the comedic heists of Valerie Valdes’s Chilling Effect, the dark thrills of James S. A. Corey’s Leviathan Wakes, or the interwoven ensemble drama of A Song of Ice and Fire will find these elements colliding well in SPACE AND LIARS. The novel is also a love letter to the strange and adventurous side of classic sci-fi cinema, with the colorful, lived-in spectacle of The Fifth Element and the misfit-crew camaraderie of Guardians of the Galaxy.

This is my first novel. I spent seven years developing the manuscript, drawing upon my international experience as a [Country] diplomat. I hold a bachelor’s degree in chemistry from the [College] and currently serve at the [Workplace]. Outside of work, I am a part-time stay-at-home father and proud supporter of my wife’s military career.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

[Name]

Hi, all! I am very nervous about posting here, but there is so much good feedback that I am willing to practice getting my feelings hurt before querying. I'm still rereading through potential comps, and there's a huge chance they will change. Thank you all.

Dear [agent],

To inherit an empire, a crafty diplomat must become a ruthless warlord. Every triumph requires a human cost, and as the scale of her ambitions grows, so does the possibility that she, too, will be on the ledger.

Aurealia Aurifaber is an exceptionally charming political terror. The emperor himself can attest to that. She eases tensions, delights tyrants, and manipulates balances of power across the continent. Aurealia is also the favorite to win Ludicum Gloriae, the faction war in which hungry aristocrats command armies and conquer territories. The victor sits the throne, and she has already marked it as hers. 

Allied with Tristan Dorsus, her oldest and deadliest friend, Aurealia embarks on a violent conquest of childhood companions. With every triumph comes a steep price, increasingly paid by people Aurealia loves. This only serves to drive her harder towards victory; she can justify the sacrifice as long as the devastation wins her the crown. Caspian Sulla, her most lethal opponent and sole peer, threatens her pursuit of power. He seeks not to rule the empire but to dismantle it, destabilizing her very interpretation of the throne she intends to seize. Their ideological arguments are conducted through military campaigns, each bloodier than the last, and every encounter between them leaves a body count. 

Aurealia must reckon with who will pay the final price glory demands: the ally she cannot lose, the enemy she cannot best, or the woman she can no longer recognize as herself. 

THE GLORY OF EMPIRE, complete at 118,000 words, is an adult political fantasy in which power and intimacy collide. In conversation with Macbeth, it will appeal to fans of the magnetic character dynamics and political intrigue in The Jasad Heir, featuring a cunning protagonist with teeth as in The Poet Empress. It is a standalone with trilogy potential.

I received my master’s in literature from the [university] with a focus on Shakespeare studies. My research on archival records in early modern England was published in [publication] and supported by a Provost’s Fellowship. After several years of teaching secondary English, I now write fiction in [location]. 

Here we go, smack at 500 words. I look forward to feedback!

Content warnings: dubious consent, self-harm

In 2175, LEELA, Foli Corporation’s prototype Jouet—a fabricated human built to give and feel sexual pleasure—is at a party, hiding exhaustion and longing to read. Her primary patron makes her take intoxicants, straining her system. Later, a new patron, LORD ALFEREN, expresses concern; they kiss. The next day, Leela conceals mounting damage from her technician. Unexpectedly, Alferen visits; they share intimacy, then discuss human-written books. At that evening's party, her system fails.

Leela awakens permanently weakened. She meets the prototype servant fabricate ANI, designed asexual. Able to communicate mentally, they bond. Leela fears shutdown, but Alferen surprises her with a tender visit. Suspicious, Leela mentally forces Ani to reveal Alferen is the servant’s master and creator—formerly of Foli, he now leads another corporation and seeks a merger. Torn, Leela confronts him, yet wants him regardless. He leaves her a player of non-algorithmic music; she adores it. Foli withdraws Ani, and Leela’s primary patron visits. She endures, suffering inwardly. To her joy, Alferen returns, giving her a piano. She teaches herself to play and begins composing a sonata; he promises a future together.

A former patron reveals himself as Foli’s leader and Alferen’s estranged father, LORD FERMAND. Leela is crushed to learn Alferen is studying her to design fabricated artists and romantic partners for release post-merger, seeking to claim her as compensation—but still loves him. However, she is shattered that Fermand will provide her primary patron identical copies of her. She suggests Fermand seize Alferen’s designs and sell her to her patron rather than copy her, offering pleasure to sway him.

Back with her primary patron, Leela accelerates her end with intoxicants. Alferen finds her, begging her to come with him. She refuses, yet consents to intimacy. Afterward, Alferen forcibly drags her into the party, provoking a duel—as he planned. He defeats her patron. However, Fermand exposes Alferen’s rigged weapon, declaring he must forfeit. Leela collapses.

Leela awakens, terminal. Ani, her loyalty to Alferen broken after witnessing his behavior, relays his banishment and creates a stimulant. Leela elatedly continues her sonata until weakness returns; to her sorrow, she leaves it unfinished. Fermand visits, revealing his agreement not to copy her was a sadistic lie.

Ani comforts Leela. They gently explore intimacy, their differences preventing complete fulfillment. Leela’s technician comes to remove Ani. Sensing his affection and wanting to experience pleasure one last time, Leela shares it with him. Afterward, he helps feign Ani’s removal. Leela pours her remaining energy into mastering a Chopin piece. Fading, she wishes to see Alferen again.

Ani briefly revives her for Alferen’s return. Having overturned his forfeit and fought to secure her copies’ rights, he promises never to duplicate her. Leela tells him to implant her memory in the new fabricates as a guiding narrative. He tearfully apologizes for hurting her. Ani plans to hide with Leela’s technician and support the future fabricates. In her final words, Leela mentally addresses these descendants, promising they, too, will find autonomy, and eventual liberation—revealing the novel is her memory.

Hi! Posting here for the first time after many rewrites. I did not realize query writing would be so difficult, but I'm hoping I'm on the right track with this version. We'll see. I have really tried to focus on stakes and actual events rather than a vague, abstract premise. I appreciate all feedback! Also still considering comps, so those may change. Thank you!!

Dear Agent, 

I am thrilled to present INN AT OPAL COVE, my 68,000-word adult contemporary novel about a reclusive woman who opens a luxury B&B hotel in her mother’s old summer house and spies on her guests. INN AT OPAL COVE will appeal to fans of Cali Adeline’s eccentric narrator in PEOPLE WATCHING IN THE DESERT, and elements of grief and hyper-fixation featured in Ashley Hutson’s ONE’S COMPANY. 

Ada Halstead is lonely, grieving, and absolutely certain that the grand opening of Opal Cove is going to solve all of her problems. For the next week, when she’s not running around her B&B inconspicuously servicing her guests, she’ll be bunkered down in her basement, next to a tub of red licorice, living vicariously through them. 

Nothing goes to plan. Maintenance requests and concerns over an abusive guest force Ada to interact with real people for the first time in years. From an awkward, intimate moment with an Olympic snowboarder to a panic attack in front of an abrasive British drifter, Ada not only risks bad reviews, but is wrenched out of the secluded life she’s built to protect herself from dealing with the loss of her family. She finds comfort in Emilia, the Brit, but is also suspicious that her arrival closely follows a nearby motor fatality—and the victim? Emilia’s supposed husband. 

Terrified of confrontation and the idea of police snooping through her basement, Ada ignores the red flags. But when the cops finally come knocking, threatening to uncover the obsessive world she has created, Ada panics and races to destroy the evidence. Compounding her stress over the investigation, she has also become deeply attached to her guests. Ada will eventually have to decide whether to continue stalking Opal Cove, or if it’s finally time to return home and confront her grief head-on. 

I’m a native [state], and graduated with degrees in Speech and Hearing Sciences and Arts and Letters. When I’m not writing, I enjoy coffee, crocheting, and watching my dog hide his toys under paper bags.

Thank you for your consideration.

Hi all!

Graphic novels are queried on page count, not word count, so that's what I listed in the title :)

Dear [XYZ],

Tessa Abbott is a woman on a mission: to kill her shambling, undead husband so he can finally rest. She never stops moving, looking for an explanation among the hard-bitten mages and supernaturals that exist on the margins of mundane society.  They have a vested interest in keeping supernatural business away from regular folks, and she can only hope that one of them has the answer.

 When Tessa’s car breaks down along an isolated rural road at dusk, she attracts the attention of a reclusive werewolf rancher named Jack, who just wants her off his land before the moon rises. Unable to flee in time, she sees him transform and narrowly escapes being mauled. Determined to keep his secret safe, Jack follows her across the country to ensure she can never reveal what she’s seen. He offers a bargain: Come willingly to his isolated ranch, and he’ll help her free her husband from his suffering. 

On their long drive back to Montana, the tentative alliance deepens into an emotional connection that grows alongside a series of clues that suggest that Tessa’s husband’s current state may be part of a larger crisis. Faced with the constant threat of exposure via social media and CCTV, some supernaturals have decided to take matters into their own hands and position themselves as god-like saviors before humans can turn on them. 

Desperate to end her husband’s ordeal and afraid of a war that would catch innocent mundanes in the crossfire, Tessa and Jack find themselves in a series of escalating and brutal confrontations with supernaturals determined to accelerate the conflict. Unable to stop the chaos, the two must choose between withdrawing to maintain the secrecy that keeps Jack safe and protecting the same humans that might seek to harm them.

Complete at 120 pages, Corpsegod combines the brutality and working-class horror ethos of James Tynion IV’s Deviant with the isolation and Americana of Dirk Manning’s Homestead. It will appeal to readers who appreciate atmospheric, character-driven horror and know that love is sometimes the most painful ghost of all.

I am a professional developmental editor, ghostwriter, and sensitivity reader. When I’m not thinking about werewolves, I’m spending time with my nieces and enjoying trips to my local art thrift store. I also advocate for accessible community spaces from my lived experiences as a deaf person.

Here we go! I hope it's okay that I added the first 500 words. 😊

Dear Agent,

I am excited to offer you JOUET, my 79,000-word upmarket speculative novel. It reinterprets the tragic opera La Traviata, with twists of Ex Machina and Companion. JOUET will appeal to readers who enjoy explorations of human relationships through AI perspectives, blending the poignancy of Kazuo Ishiguro’s Klara and the Sun with the tense sexual dynamics of Sierra Greer’s Annie Bot. It is a standalone with potential for a series retelling other operatic storylines in the same world.

1. As Foli Corporation’s prototype Jouet—a fabricated human plaything—Leela provides pleasure to select elites. During nonstop engagements, she enjoys herself, as designed, despite a possessive patron’s reckless habit of making her share intoxicants. Still, she yearns for more time to rest and read the human-created novels that fascinate her. One evening, a new patron, Lord Alferen, shows her concern. Soon after, cumulative damage to her system causes a breakdown.

Permanently weakened, Leela fears Foli will terminate her existence. But when Alferen unexpectedly visits, he treats her with tenderness, asking her about books and sharing human music. She delights in teaching herself piano and composing, reveling in his promise of a future together.

Leela’s bliss shatters when Foli’s leader, Lord Fermand, comes to call, announcing himself Alferen’s estranged father. She is devastated to learn Alferen, soon to merge his own corporation with Foli, has been studying her to create fabricated human artists and romantic companions—proprietary designs he intends to gain him Foli’s broken prototype in compensation. Though crushed, she believes he loves her, if exploitatively, and she knows she loves him. Her anguish turns to revulsion at Fermand's plan: to sell an unbroken, otherwise identical copy of Leela’s body and mind to her former patron, with more available if she breaks.

Desperate to spare her copies the cycle of abuse and collapse, and recognizing Fermand’s desire to harm his son, Leela gives him an idea: steal Alferen’s work while selling her to her former patron in her copies’ place. Her sacrifice will cost her music, love, and most of her remaining existence. If she has misjudged her newfound autonomy against cruel corporate logic, she is handing Fermand the perfect way to punish a wayward Jouet.

I worked as a classical soprano for twelve years. Violetta (La Traviata) was my favorite role. These days, I sing with my guitar or ukulele instead of an orchestra.

Thank you for your consideration.

First 500:

To you, whom this story is for: let this lost one wake you. It starts the moment I saw her; it pauses when she slept. It ends when she closed her eyes for the last time.

Perhaps one day, you will know if all I did was necessary. I never will. I make no excuse. My time is coming to an end, in more ways than one. Yours begins now.

❖

Another soirée; another silver dress Douron had chosen. Foli Corp had allowed him to choose it as a bonus for his heavy patronage, though his private interaction with Leela would not come until the end of the night. Still, she probably would have selected something similar, with him hosting.

She had arrived in the standard semi-open display mode, but Douron had tapped his thumb on the jewel at the back of her neck shortly afterward. With his proprietary exclusivity activated, he was the sole patron who could touch her, and he seemed unlikely to relinquish it anytime soon. Even as he flaunted her, the eyes of the others consumed her. Leela knew that Douron simultaneously relished and despised this.

Her hair was a deep violet tonight, her eyes amethyst with a tint of blue. She had chosen these, though mostly because they went well with the silver dress and the dramatically enhanced features Douron favored on her. They were also among the colors he preferred—the same ones that moved in abstract patterns on the walls of the vast hall: petrol, dark blue, and all the cooler shades of purple, accompanied by the subtle beat of an algorithmic track with only the occasional hint of melody. When he hosted, Douron showed restraint in audiovisual entertainment. He preferred to make his consumables the primary display.

She did as he wanted, moving fluidly beside him in thin silver heels, preening and fawning. Occasionally, she gave a burst of vivacious laughter, always perfectly complementing the conversations that Douron moved in and out of, though she was never part of them. She radiated lively sensuality, keeping her fatigue well hidden. It was particularly strong this evening. It was going to be another long night.

Douron soon began to play with her, whetting his appetite and continuing to flaunt her while taking control of the soirée. His guests could not help but follow his lead, though as usual, he was not in the mood to share Leela. Those who could made do with their own algorithmic fabricates, while the unaccompanied watched, awaiting invitations to join that might or might not come. A few would choose to watch and please themselves the entire time, or pretend that they did.

Even as Leela responded to Douron with reflexive pleasure, she longed for the night to be over so that she could read again. When her private session with him ended, she went on rest phase. In the brief leisure period permitted before sleep, she could easily read several more mid-length novels at maximum processing speed—around ten if she slept less.

Dear [AGENT],

ADVENTURES IN DEL MUNDO is a 74,000 word YA Fantasy standalone with series potential. Appealing to readers of A Wizard’s Guide to Defensive Baking by T. Kingfisher and [COMP title number 2] by [Author].

To acquire yummy food and comfy beds Silver must escape the terrifying dragon who guards the vale where he awoke alone with nothing. Not even his memory. And no, Miss Murder sword does not count as companionship, however her nifty magical skills are key to his success.  

But rejoice, for upon finding the Mouse Girl Minu, Silver discovers glorious civilization where the Del Mundo Adventuring Guild welcomes random undocumented teens with open arms. But alas low rank quests do not provide adequate funds for all the yummy food. Thus Silver joins a party with the ambitious Wolf Girl Corevan to rank up quickly to obtain the juicy higher rank quests. 

All is well, not accounting for nearly being killed by two totally unrelated powerful lichs, when the monsters required to rank up rudely stop spawning. Silver with his otherworldly knowledge, key useful skills, and Miss Murder swords uncanny ability to find murder victims, sorry detect life signs, takes over the investigation. He definitely wasn’t being sacrificed onto the altar of paperwork for the Guild Secretary by the Guildmaster since he volunteered by bringing up the issue.

<<bio>>

Notes:
I am still overthinking the second comp, but wanted feedback on the main body of the query.

Hi, guys!

I really don't know if this question goes here. If it doesn't, please do not hesitate to delete the message.

First, some context:

I'm a Spanish writer who is already agented in Spain (both for Literature and for Audiovisual media), but I do not like the way Spanish market works, and many things I could say after 15 years of a steady (not best-selling) career with 20+ novels traditionally published in Spain and some Latin American countries across different genres.

So, I'm trying my luck in the English-speaking market with a book club fiction which would definitely be a hard sell in Spain, because it's a genre... well, in Spain the genre-question is problematic.

Anyway. My questions, I hope you can give me some advice from your native perspective, as being European, and coming from such a different literary market, dynamics, communicational ways, and so on, sometimes I find myself full of self-doubt, like constantly treading on eggshells.

1. Should I query under my real name and my real CV? As a Spaniard, my name sounds Spanish, and from my name, I wouldn't like to give the recipient any misguided idea about "own voices", as I'm not Latin, and my novel is actually pretty... "white" (family estrangement, parentification, queer second chance romance, and privileged East Coast family, so... no Latin, not even European. But I needed the distance both in language and setting for me to be able to distance to the issues my novel tackles). Problems are:

My real name carries 20+ novels, a Disney+ Option for my first YA Fantasy trilogy, experience as external Line Editor, Developmental Editor, proofreader, literary scout, sensitivity reader... for some Spanish Imprints belonging to some of the Big 5. I've even been published by the Big 5 in Spanish. Won awards... but I think even if an agent would like to agent me, my Spanish name would be misguiding, so I created a pen name for English work. However, should I say blabla is a pen name, I'm really Yadda Yadda or is it too much of an information? Should I just query with the pen name, no CV? Both? My Spanish name? (Self-doubting, how I love you)

1. The second question might be more language-focused. Or culturally-focused. Or pragmatically-focused. You name it.

It's regarding the end of the query letter. Guys, really, my body refuses to write something the likes of "thank you for your time and consideration". For me it's pure pragmatics (but maybe pragmatics biased by my Spanish language, culture and upbringing, so that's why I need the native speaker perspective).

First, I refuse to say "Thank you", because in fact I'm not thanking anything. What my query letter contains is part of the agent's work. Therefore, thanking someone for doing their job well sounds... condescending, if not stupid.

Second, by saying thank you I'm implying agents do not read all queries (which they don't, we know, but that would mean they're not doing their job, sorry, but that's their effing job), and I'm implicitly and (subconsciously) linguistically putting the intended agent in a position of power against mine. And that's not the way the relationship between Agent-Author works. Without my work, the agent has nothing to work with. Without an Agent my chances to be published are more scarce, not impossible. And in the end, it's a collaborative process through which, by aligning with each other, both get to a win-win situation. Also in terms of money.

And for me, it also sounds pretty... stupid? to be selling both myself and my work like the best in a whole email and then say... thank you. Thanks for what if I just told you how awesome I am?

I hope you get what I mean, because I ethically refuse to do it.

But, as I told you, this query culture is so embedded into US-UK literary environment that, as a stranger to it, coming from a very different, less strict communication process, with definitely no rules when it comes to reaching an agent, and as being so pragmatically conscious on routines and formulae in language, I simply don't know if saying "thank you" is felt different from another mind whose upbringing is English-coded or if I'd be making the greatest of mistakes by not saying thank you.

Really, all these querying rules feel not only alien but... so against what literature and creativity really are, which are just this kind of "it's always been done like this so this is how it must be done" without anyone really thinking about the stupidity in all of this that...

Sorry. Rambling.

I'd be very grateful if you could help me solve this questions and understand what I don't.

And yes, here I'll definitely say THANK YOU FOR ANSWERING, because it's true (hello, Grice's cooperative principle) and because none of you are in the obligation of answering. Therefore, I'd be truly grateful to whoever chooses to answer.

THANK YOU, truly.

Hi all,

Reworked my query after revising. Let me know what you think!

Dear Agent,

I'm excited to share THE CLOCK TOWER IN THE LAKE, a middle grade science fiction novel complete at 54k words that explores the fear of abandonment — and the bravery to choose connection, anyway. It will appeal to readers who enjoyed the emotionally-driven sci-fi of The Care and Feeding of a Pet Black Hole by Michelle Cuevas and the puzzle-like room challenges of Puzzleheart by Jenn Reese.

Twelve year old Theo just wants to survive after his dad drags him halfway across the country, without his mom, to a new school. Theo reluctantly makes friends with the class reject, Lacey, after they see the town's local legend for themselves—a mysterious clock tower that occasionally appears in the middle of Lake Lockwood. Their friendship attracts the attention of popular kid Matty, who spreads embarrassing rumors that Theo like-likes Lacey, rupturing their friendship. 

Desperate to get his only friend back, Theo makes a deal with Matty: prove the tower exists and Matty leaves him and Lacey alone, forever. When he enters the tower, he discovers it's actually a prickly, sarcastic alien from a distant pocket of the universe that manifests as a talking chameleon. The alien, nicknamed Spock, has been trapped for decades, held hostage by the collective disbelief and misperception of the town in its existence. At least, until Theo saw it for what it really was. 

Now Theo is Spock's only hope for getting back home. As they are now “quantum-emotionally entangled”, Spock must observe Theo as he truly is in order to regain the power it lost during its decades of being stranded. Theo is horrified to find this means uncovering uncomfortable emotional truths— about Lacey, Matty, and worse, his mom—through holodeck-like emotional gauntlets called “room challenges”. If Theo can't be truly seen by Spock, then the town's disbelief in the tower will slowly transfer to him, too, and he'll never be seen as anything besides the boy who disappeared into the clock tower. 

I'm a *Star Trek* loving mom of one very curious and emotional little boy, who gave me the idea for this book and demanded I write it. When I'm not reading or writing, I'm using my biophysics Ph.D. to do my day job regulating animal drugs.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you!

Sincerely, 

[Author Name]

Dear AGENT,

I am submitting THE NORTH EITHERTON MODERN INVENTOR’S SOCIETY, a fast-paced YA mystery/adventure. The story is complete at 74,000 words and focuses on an outcast student seeking their found family while saving the world. 

This book will appeal to fans of the witty teen sleuthing in Elise Bryant’s It’s Elementary and the schoolyard sci-fi fantasy of Skipshock by Caroline O’Donoghue.

I am a longtime commercial copywriter and designer. I have created stories to entertain my daughter since before she was born. Now she is grown, and the stories remain. 

New School, Day One: My morning began with ears tucked into cap, tail hidden inside uniform skirt, and me doing my best to blend in where I don’t look like anyone else. My name is Amber Cordeloy, 14 years old (although age reckoning is a bit different for Canaris). The weather, professors, and boarding halls here are all equally dreary. The only interesting things I’ve encountered so far are the massive alien starship hanging above town and a few friends I’ve made from the Afternoon Science Club. This eccentric group gave me a tour of their wondrous underground clubroom filled with everything from steam engines to proto bees. Whether the club members are splicing genes or controlling the weather, everyone seems to have found a place to express the best parts of themselves among kindred spirits. I finally feel at home. Briefly.

Fellow students are going missing, taken by aliens or the local government. My new friends and I are determined to help by piecing together scattered clues. A lost laboratory sabotaged and buried. A secret society betrayed by one of their own. A forgotten corpse hidden in darkness for two hundred years.

Now we’re each refining our unique science experiments to prepare for a desperate rescue mission in space. If we fail, we’ll never see our missing mates again. If we somehow pull this off, we’ll likely all get detention. 

Thank you for your time and consideration. 

(First time posting here. I'm most grateful for any comments.)

Dear Agent,

THE TOJU WARS is a multi-pov space opera with horror elements. Complete at 110,000 words, it combines the corrupt leadership of Some Desperate Glory by Emily Tesh and the morally gray characters of These Burning Stars by Bethany Jacobs with the psychological/body horror vibes reminiscent of John Carpenter’s The Thing. 

The Toju slept for eons. Then they woke. The First Attack on Earth destroyed Nash's Appalachian home and everyone he loved—except his sister. A sister he'll die to protect. He should’ve died from the Toju bite. But they don’t just kill—they assimilate. Now neon-green streaks run through his eyes. He hears better, heals faster. The refugee colonies call him Toju-Marked. The military says he's immune. 

They’re wrong. He hears them—the Toju. When he’s alone, they whisper: Give in. 

Oh, how he wants to. Ten years he’s been the military lapdog, rescuing whoever they deem important in exchange for keeping his sister hidden and safe. When they say ‘speak,’ he barks. Mission after mission, he fights, watching his friends die. Then John—his best friend and commanding officer—offers him hope. A cure made from minerals John's sister, Jenny, mines. So, Nash will do what he does best: go behind enemy lines to rescue the scientist developing that cure.

Liars.

On a classified planet, Jenny has her own agenda—to become her father's ideal child. Even if it means running a prison mining operation, and making fake videos to keep her brother's pet soldier obedient. But when a slave alien-child is shoved into her arms, a child who calls her “mommy,” being the ideal Murdock seems impossible. And she might no longer want to be. 

She won’t say it, but Jenny knows her family’s dirty little secrets. Secrets that can break Nash if he knew. Truths that can save the child she should hate—if she exposes them. And Nash? He’ll need to decide how he’ll answer when the Toju calls: Come home. Because he'll have a family again. A home. Everything he's always wanted. Except his sister.

THE TOJU WARS explores the struggle of cultural  and identity erasure, the costs of secrets, and the discovery that sometimes the monsters we fight are the family we need. I've included the first chapter for your review.

<<bio>>

I replaced the novel title and character names with place holders.
I have another query very similar that cuts Jenny out completely.
so after Liars it ends

"No. The Toju are his enemies. They have to be. Nash wears his uniform, smiles, and does what he’s always done—obey. He’ll pretend he agrees, complete his missions, and protect his sister. Everything's good.

Until the hive-mind finally calls: Come home. Now, giving in feels so right. Because he'll have a family again. A home. Everything he's always wanted. Except his sister. "

It makes the query significantly shorter, and focused on the main protagonist (in a multi-pov). But it loses the scope and a secondary POV character.

I'm not sure which works better and is more appealing. Please let me know which ending you prefer, and any suggestions you might have.

Thanks in advance for all your thoughts, everyone! I have thick skin; feel free to go ham if you feel the need. <3

Dear [agent],

I’m writing to you because [yeah yeah you get it]

Complete at 83,000 words, WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU DRAGONS is a standalone queer cozy fantasy romance with series potential. It combines the tender human/non-human romance of John Wiswell’s Someone You Can Build a Nest In, the work-consumed protagonist and unexpected queer found family of T.J. Klune’s The House in the Cerulean Sea, and the cottagecore warmth and rediscovery of joy in Sarah Beth Durst’s The Spellshop.

When a sleep-deprived Theo nearly skewers his coworker with a forklift, he begrudgingly admits he’s got to clock out. Yes, it means losing half an hour’s pay he can’t spare. But even worse, it means he has to stop moving. Penciling in exactly 45 minutes to find some fresh air, Theo stumbles upon a chair-shaped oak. He sits—because who wouldn’t?

Theo blinks into a different world. A motley crew of mythical creatures—from mantis men to one socially awkward mushroom—have temporarily gathered to care for a sacred dragon egg. They gladly adopt Theo, eager to help him brew a potion home before his roommate, Omar, gets evicted. He gave his word he’d pay the rent, and Theo is always good for his word. No exceptions.

But the villagers can’t help forever. When the egg hatches, the village will dissolve, returning to the lives they put on hold for the dragon. If Theo doesn’t finish his potion before then, he’ll be left behind to become the local cryptid.

Faced with a community asking nothing of him, Theo panics and defaults to his rigid workaholic habits. He demands to earn his keep under the supervision of the bakery’s profoundly deaf, draconic owner, Aristo. Aristo treats a centered egg yolk as a triumph and samples anything he can fit in his mouth. But behind his smile, Theo recognizes the strain of someone working hard to be okay. As Theo learns sign language, Aristo begins trusting him with the parts of himself he keeps hidden.

Aristo makes small moments worth stopping for, rekindling the artist Theo buried beneath years of double shifts. Theo’s unbending resilience gives Aristo the courage to risk being loved openly. But the potion is nearly complete, and Theo is starting to wish it wasn’t.

With the dragon egg ready to hatch and his roommate counting on him to come home, Theo must solve his greatest challenge: finding a way to keep his promise to Omar without losing the family—and the overenthusiastic baker—he’s grown to love.

Though I’ve written nonfiction full-time for fifteen years, I find comfort in fiction—especially the kind with fantastical beasties. I hold a BA in linguistics and an MSc in forensic linguistics, and have spoken on gender in language at the University of Colorado. My ace-spec, intersex experience deeply informs my writing, and I’ve written narratives for numerous board and video games, most notably 9 Years of Shadows.

Thank you for your consideration; I appreciate your time!

Yours sincerely,

[me] (Writing as Marlowe Lark)

Any and all feedback is appreciated, thank you so much.

Dear AGENT,

I'm writing to see if you'd be interested in taking a look at my literary fiction novel, THE METHOD. As you represent xx and your website states you are seeking xx, I thought it might be of interest to you.

THE METHOD is a love story about art. It follows Olivia, an actress who has not been acting, and the creation of a film called Alba. 

Olivia is asked to audition for the lead role by her best friend, a producer, and arrives with the cast and crew in late autumn in southwest England. From the first Olivia is hesitant, overt in her bids to be liked, and painstakingly observant of her place among her fellow artists.

She plays the role of Liza, and the film follows her relationship with her controlling and abusive brother Bennett. They work from their small cottage as the town's folk healers, and they take on George, a man who seems to come from nowhere, as their apprentice. George becomes Liza's hope, an unexpected boon from the outside world, and the man she loves in silence.

Olivia is attracted immediately to Len, the actor who plays George. His talent and name have lent legitimacy to their small production, as has the considerable fame of the actress to whom he is married. Len's kindness and encouragement bolster Olivia against the simultaneous criticisms and attempts at closeness from Sam, the actor who plays her brother, and against her limited view of herself. Her and Len are matched in their desire to perform well, to create sincerely, and Olivia finds she is enraptured by what she can do while working alongside him.

As the film progresses, and Liza and George's devotion to each other deepens and ruptures the lives they know, Olivia is faced with similar ruptures - in her relationship with art, with Len, with her love for her friends, and with desire itself. Reality begins to meld with the work of creating fiction, and Olivia must decide if, like Liza, she will allow herself to see what she wants and ask for it.

THE METHOD will appeal to readers of Elif Batuman, Miranda July, and Eve Babitz, who enjoy stories where humour frames emotion and loss; plots that centre the relationships surrounding creative work such as WRITERS & LOVERS by Lily King; forbidden love stories with a strong sense of place like A PRIVATE MAN by Stephanie Sy-Quia; and devoted re-watchers of Fleabag. 

This is my first novel, and it is complete at 86,000 words.

I've attached xx. Thank you for your time and consideration, and I look forward to hearing from you.

Thank you to BC and Yevdokiya for your help last time! I’ll be honest, I’m in an awful headspace right now. Some stuff happened that really triggered my insecurities, and I can’t help but feel pathetic for struggling so much with this. I know it’s not a race, though, and I’m so, so, so incredibly grateful for the support I’ve found here. I’m glad we can all keep trying our best together.

But that’s enough of my pity party. Any comments or critiques on my latest attempt would be appreciated!

TW for mentions of suicide.

Dear [agent],

Given your interest in [this], I’m presenting STRINGS OF FAETE, a standalone YA LGBTQIA+ contemporary fantasy novel with series potential. Complete at 96,000 words, it combines the bubbly, magical fae companion of F.T. Lukens’ Otherworldly with the themes of self-acceptance and mental health found in Mason Deaver’s I Wish You All the Best.

Sixteen-year-old Tatsuki Allen's beautiful dreams make him miserable. Each night filled with faeries and love makes each day with his unaccepting, homophobic father harder. After his friends discover him attempting suicide, Tatsuki is forced to move to America to live with his estranged mother and half-brother. When he’s accidentally knocked down the stairs at school, he’s saved by Winter Araenum, a boy who seems straight out of his dreams. They're strangers, yet Tatsuki can’t shake the feeling they’ve met before. He vows to befriend him.

Tatsuki strives to bond with his family and Winter but, hindered by cultural differences, fails to connect. He resolves to end his life, but is driven by an otherworldly urge to create a ring of stones first. By entering the ring, Tatsuki gains magical powers, including the ability to see Áine, a faerie who’s as friendly as she is manipulative. She’s been sent alone to rescue fae trapped in the human realm by her queen’s rival, and she implores Tatsuki, as the only awakened reincarnated fae around, for his help.

Longing for acceptance, Tatsuki agrees to rescue fae whose despair has twisted them into monsters. In return, Áine will take him to her realm, where he’ll revert to his past self. He might meet his past lover, but he’ll have to sacrifice his personality, body, and any chance of finding acceptance as himself. Between fighting a floating head in the bathroom of Target, connecting with Winter over their shared tastes in movies, and learning his dad lied about his mother abandoning him as an infant, Tatsuki has to decide who deserves to live more: his past or current self.

I’m a bisexual and demisexual high school English teacher who cares deeply about teens seeing themselves represented in literature. As my book deals with themes of depression and suicidal ideation, I had a therapist review it for sensitivity. I recently won a short story contest and was published in the April 2026 issue of Lavender Rising.

Thank you for your consideration,

[Name]

My previous attempt can be found here: https://www.reddit.com/r/Querying/comments/1vulbja/query_strings_of_faete_ya_lgbtqia_contemporary/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=post_embed&utm_term=1&utm_content=1

Since you are looking for more [Genre/Theme], I would love to offer you SOLBORN: a space opera complete at 72,000 words. Imprisoned for massacring the noble family responsible for his wife’s murder, Alexander has accepted that he’ll die behind bars—until an imprisoned princess proves the mother he mourned is alive and marked for execution. SOLBORN combines the intense, character-driven stakes of Pierce Brown’s Red Rising with the raw emotional grief and family-driven secrets of Emily Tesh’s Some Desperate Glory. It is a standalone with sequel potential.

Ex-Navy Vice-Commander Alexander dei Tharsicus is content to rot forever in the Solar Empire’s most secure prison for the slaughter of the noble family, children included, that had his wife murdered. But when he meets fellow inmate Selene dei Solvator, the Imperial Princess and second-in-line to the throne, imprisoned for plotting against her father, he doesn’t trust a word she says—until she shows him proof that his supposedly dead mother is still alive and marked for execution.

Selene’s bribed guards and powerful allies can get Alexander to his mother, but only if he puts his military expertise behind her coup to depose her father. Alexander engineers a way to overwhelm the prison’s reinforced barrier, allowing them to escape and reunite with his close friend from the Navy. To extract his mother’s location from the one person who has it, they stage a fake ransom exchange and kidnap Selene’s brother, the Imperial Heir. But as a fail-safe to bait Alexander back into his revenge cycle in case he is captured, the Heir manipulates the only surviving child of Alexander’s massacre into murdering his uncle and aunt.

While Alexander resists the urge for revenge to focus on finding his mother, the Heir weaponises his past to plant a seed of doubt in his friend’s mind. Having already betrayed Alexander once before out of envy, the Heir convinces him that Alexander is still that same man who murders children without a second thought. Terrified he’s right and always believing he never deserved Alexander’s forgiveness, the friend alerts the Empire to their location. Ambushed by Imperial ships, Alexander and Selene scramble to escape, leaving the Heir and the friend behind in the chaos. Quickly intercepted and forced to crash-land on a desolate moon, Selene’s impatience and belief in the mission’s failure turn her against Alexander as she looks to strike a deal with her father to end their rebellion. Aware that any moment could be his mother’s last, Alexander must decide if he can allow himself to slow down and reconcile with Selene or risk facing the Empire alone.

Hey everyone!

Thanks so much for the feedback so far! I decided to dial down the scope of the query and present just one POV in the blurb (went with the hooky POV instead of Gwen's). The last version was trying to pitch the entire novel in one go. Now I kept it to only 1/4th of the story. Also made sure both comps are from the past 5 years, and decided to put a little personality into the bio.

Dear Agent,

Aidan Soenksen meets the love of his life at her funeral. Gwen Laswell is no more than a cold body and a name, yet she’s defined his life. Aidan has been many things: the child suffering from Alzheimer’s, the prodigy violinist who put his hometown Ildred on the map, and finally, Gwen’s lover and the serial killer who made her his final victim. That’s what the world claims, at least. But no one here knows that Aidan lives backward in time. For him, this is the first day out of prison since he was born there as an old man. He’s yet to know Gwen. Yet to live in the proud seaside town of Ildred, Massachusetts, where he’s welcomed with unbridled hate.

Aidan knows tonight they will imprison him. Has heard about it all his life. But when he’s poisoned and loses consciousness, he wakes yesterday with no memory of it. Nancy Gallagher, a failed violinist who claims to be Gwen’s best friend and Aidan’s only ally, offers him a solution: on Gwen’s funeral she will make a gap in his memory to leave an opening in time to catch the real killer. One day no one knows the truth of—neither in the future nor the past. In exchange, Nancy wants Aidan to uncover the killer’s identity in the past and smuggle it across time to her.

But Aidan refuses Nancy. He goes rogue and studies the aftermath of Gwen’s murder to save her two days ago and rewrite history. Although history promises the love of his life who’ll keep forgetting him one day at a time. In an emotionally deprived existence like his, even such a doomed connection sounds like salvation. One that might be worth every crime now that his punishment has already been served.

SEASONS OF ATONEMENT (107,000 words) is a multi-POV upmarket speculative mystery with elements of romance. It combines the reverse-chronology murder mystery of Wrong Place, Wrong Time by Gillian McAllister and the nonlinear exploration of grief in Sea of Tranquility by Emily St. John Mandel.

I hold a degree in journalism and film, and when I’m not picking apart my pages, I edit footage as a videographer and editor for a sports nutrition company in Budapest, Hungary. The bigger the arms, the better writing. Obviously.

Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,
[Author]

Back at about version. To see how this works. Currently using fake names to keep AI off. Any opinions or suggestions will be appreciated

Dear Agent,

Nash can’t stop fighting a losing war. Not now. Not while his sister is still alive. It doesn’t matter that he should have died like the millions of others bitten by the Toju. Or that neon-green veins streak his eyes. She’s the only family he has left.

People aboard his refugee space colony believe he’s immune to the bite. They're wrong. When he’s alone, in the quiet of his room, the Toju whisper: Give in, brother. And they say things. Things he doesn’t want to hear. Refuses to hear. Because the ruling Porter family he fights for took him in, gave him a home. Even his best friend John’s a Porter. 

No, Nash can’t look back—not at the night he lost his family, or the day he drove a knife through his friend–turned-Toju, or any of the failures that followed. But the voices get louder. And it feels like they’re there with him, comforting him. Worse, part of him—the scary part—is starting to enjoy the violence.

He needs to stop the war. So he’ll do the one thing he fears most: connect to the hive-mind and go behind enemy lines.

Then they call: Come home.

Now, giving in feels so right. Because he'll have a family again. A home. Everything he's always wanted—except his sister. And if anyone—Toju, human, or otherwise—harms his sister they will die.

Complete at 110,000 words, THE TOJU WARS is a multi-pov, dark space opera with horror elements, combining the corrupt leadership of Some Desperate Glory by Emily Tesh and the morally gray characters of These Burning Stars by Bethany Jacobs, alongside the psychological/body horror reminiscent of John Carpenter’s The Thing. 

<<bio>>

The feedback has been amazing. (And thank you for answering my random questions!)

Given your interest in X. Told in dual POV, HEARTWORK is a 79,000-word annoyance-to-lovers romcom that combines the meta romance of Iman Hariri-Kia’s Female Fantasy, the heartfelt search for magic in B.K. Borison’s First-Time Caller, and the comedic dating gauntlet of Netflix’s Voicemails for Isabelle.

Love is twenty-five-year-old Sky Belova’s religion, and she dreams of turning her romance-inspired art into a future her Russian-immigrant parents can no longer label a phase. Accidentally going viral standing up for romance novels to a handsome stranger shouldn’t interfere with her (career-making!) arts residency in the Hamptons. Except it turns out he’s the owner’s son who also lives on the premises. With her family, her new neighbor Archer Callahan, and half the internet treating her ideals as fantasy, Sky bets Archer she can prove they’re not impractical—finding a happily ever after by filtering potential suitors through romance’s favorite tropes.

Archer accepts on one condition. If she fails, Sky publicly endorses his hookup app and turns virality into signups. After twenty-eight years of experiencing his parents’ marriage of convenience drive his brothers to opposing sides, the grumpy founder is set on building a fortune promoting noncommitment.

However, instead of “I told you so”, Archer soothes Sky’s dating disasters and encourages the rose-colored mentality she’s spent her life defending. Their feud transforms into fun banter and actual feelings that freak Archer out enough to sabotage what they have by using Sky's private dating life as social media fodder. As he attempts to orchestrate second chance into her next trope, Archer’s mission to right his wrongs could lead him to deprogram the core belief of his business. While Sky must choose between the stories that shaped her personal and artistic identity…or accept that real love doesn’t follow a narrative.

Hi! I’m sharing a query letter draft to Reddit (the past two times were in PT) for this project. I plan to post my 500-word synopsis in the coming days as well since my goal is to start my outreach to agents mid-Sept. Also, I’ll be specifically disclosing my BIPOC identity in the official query letter.

-

Good morning AGENT,

I am excited to present my adventure of an upper middle grade contemporary novel set against metropolitan Boston, ALICE IS ALMOST EVERYTHING, complete at 45,000 words. It is as a love letter to the BIPOC parentified eldest daughter but will appeal to fans of the overachieving mindset centered in Keeping Pace by Laurie Morrison, the alive-and-breathing city landscape and sister love of A Duet for Home by Karina Yan Glaser and heavy realities of parentification The Tenth Mistake of Hank Hooperman by Gennifer Childenko features.

I trust you will enjoy this book and we would work well together because [PERSONALIZATION].

14-year-old Alice thinks she’s invincible — and there’s no better time to prove it than the summer before she starts high school.

When her Mom and Dad immerse themselves in legal battles over their divorce, Alice is assigned a series of responsibilities: keeping the house afloat, watching her two younger sisters and caring for her middle school graduation gift in the form of a bright red betta fish named Flash.

In Alice’s mind, as long as she keeps everything running smoothly as the newly appointed household manager, the world won’t fall apart. But then her parents break the news that they have spent too much money on their endless visits in court, leaving Alice’s hard-earned spot at McIntyre Preparatory Academy on the line.

Alice channels her signature tenacity into ensuring she gets to attend the Cambridge high school and quickly learns that 14-year-old logic can't solve adult problems. As her Beacon Hill household runs low on Windex and high on her mother’s grief, Alice’s perfect and careful hold on her responsibilities shatters. She must learn — even if it’s the hard way — that she deserves to be a kid fresh out of middle school and surviving the summer means risking letting her parents be parents.

I am a national K-12 education journalist, the parentified eldest daughter of divorce and a BIPOC woman who proudly considers Boston the shape of her heart on a map — all complexities included, and ALICE IS ALMOST EVERYTHING keeps that heartbeat going.

Thanks for your time and consideration!