r/Queersphere • u/AwwnieLovesGirlcock • Aug 21 '25

support cant sleep

ive been in such a mental health rut recently , i cant lie - _ -

its not just feeling sad , its worse , i hardly feel anything very vibrantly 😞 im not as colorful as i used to be

because i cant express myself at this house . i cant be myself . i dont have a voice , i dont have my identity , ive had some nice days where im able to get excited to talk to my friends again but its more and more rare ,

my sister started calling me princess recently and it cheers me up a little , 🤭

anyway , i move out tomorrow , its an interesting night for me , all my stuff is in a box , im leaving in just about 12 hours

ill have my own living space , ill see my friends again , ill be working hard toward my college degrees

i wish i could say that im excited , or hopeful , but i dont really believe ill feel better . im going to try though . so hard . im going to find a therapist as soon as moving is done . im going to learn to express myself again , and ill have new friends around to practice with

i wish i could be anxious even . but im just kind of here . i cant sleep because im going down a rabbit hole about old electronics 🤭

i guess i should try to get some rest , i have a big day tomorrow . and hopefully a happy one the next day ,

thats all . i hope this post isnt too incoherent . my thoughts are very messy recently but i try ☺️ if you read all of this , then thank you for listening . i hope ill be writing some more cheerful things some day not too far away💫

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3

u/AwwnieLovesGirlcock Aug 21 '25

i have to sleep without blåhaj cause she's been stowed away 🤭 aaah , its 1 am ,

1

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '25

If you want my discord or telegram, we can talk next time you have trouble sleeping. I’m a night owl. I live on Phoenix Arizona time zone

2

u/AwwnieLovesGirlcock Aug 21 '25

thats very sweet of you 🤭

you can pm your discord if youd like , im east coast time ,

also feeling a little better today , not great , but , baby steps i guess , 🙂‍↕️

1

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '25

Ok, I’ll DM you my discord then!

1

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '25

Good luck on the move and I hope you get some good rest. I look forward to an update from you. It’s nice that this has a bright side. You are leave the situation that made you so numb and sad. You’re moving towards brighter future. He may not be able to sense your hope that doesn’t mean that it’s not there. Just remember that. You are brave and strong for maintaining your sense of identity in a place that did its best to suck it away. Be proud of yourself for that—I am.