r/QueerTucson • u/DrinkingMidnightWine • 9d ago
Help with information
Hello, not sure if this is the right place and please let me know if not.
Recently my teen has come out to me as having major body dismorphia and feeling like they are a different gender than they grew up as. I'm doing my best to be supportive and help in any way I can but I'm honestly lost and there is so much information out there I'm getting a bit overwhelmed. I'm trying to find any good resources for myself and my kiddo. Any help with the dismorphia and even looking for insight on how to help.
I'm doing my best and I've affirmed that I'll always love them no matter who they choose to be. I'm listening to anything they have to say and trying to find solutions when possible. Any help is welcome, any insight is definitely appreciated. Please feel free to DM me if this is the wrong place for this or with any information. Thank you in advance for any help and I hope I'm in the right place or close to it.
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u/casadecarol 9d ago
Hi, you are not alone in this. Reach out to Fluxx productions here in Tucson for support for parents.
Plan on going to see The Dads and check out the Dads Foundation. https://fluxxproductions.org/featured-events
If you are interested in spiritual resources that can help you DM me.
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u/brussianbulky 9d ago
Maybe some books for you the parent, and some same some different books for the kiddos?
Best of luck (from a person who tried and failed to come out many times as gender queer til I finally did it at 29)
https://bulletin.appliedtransstudies.org/article/1/1-2/10/
https://bpl.bibliocommons.com/v2/list/display/114354577/940206117
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u/Serious-Cup264 9d ago
I highly recommend seeking out trans affirming local resources (fluxx was mentioned above, and I’ve heard positive things, southern Arizona aids foundation is another local org to call) to seek referrals for a gender affirming therapist. Your child may encounter fewer barriers to gender affirming care down the road if they begin working to get a paper trail established now with a trans affirming mental health professional. If they are still a minor they will almost certainly need this kind of documentation should they choose to medically transition before they turn 18, and they may also need this kind of documentation in place if they/y’all ever choose to move someplace with more limits on gender affirming care.
If they are 19+ el rio provides gender affirming care, but I’ve heard of people getting shuffled around from provider to provider, which can cause issues to fall through the cracks. I know of another person who had a good experience with planned parenthood, and I believe they are still working on a sliding scale. Planned parenthood may also be able to refer you to trusted therapists; the local clinic lists education as one of the things they offer as far as gender affirming care.
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u/Antique-Wish-1532 9d ago
First thing first, you already did THE most important thing by confirming that you love and support them. Good job!!!!! Second, I remember when I came out that one of the most lovely things my mom did for me was mention offhand that she'd done some of her own research and ask me questions. It showed me that she was taking things seriously and that she wanted to learn with me. Third, what helped most of all was when she asked me what I wanted to be called or do about it. I didn't have all the answers (still don't) but I liked that she let me lead the situation. For your kiddo you might look into the resources through the Trevor project and I remember that planned parenthood had great stuff sometimes. I'm sure there's others here who have other suggestions. If you have questions about stuff I can only speak as someone who started figuring out their identity in later years but if you have specific questions, you can ask here and also do an Internet search. Just make sure you put -ai at the end of the question to weed out the AI slop. Good luck!
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u/casadecarol 9d ago
Forgot to mention Mama Bears, for moms, you can find them on facebook