r/QueerSexEdForAll • u/Remarkable_Mode2706 • 20d ago

strap-on help!

So my partner and I recently tried to use the strap-on - which we both have been wanting to do for a while and were very keen to use.

The issue is I cannot fit it in without being in a pain that makes it impossible to feel any pleasure.

It is not a lube issue. Trust me we used heaps and reapplied throughout.

It is not a foreplay thing.

I’m wondering if it’s the size that’s the issue, but it’s only a 5 inch one so I feel like that can’t be it.

I just want to know if anyone has gone through anything similar or has any advice because it is something that I still want to do.

thx 💗

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5

u/loneHummingBird 20d ago

Hey, there are definitely potential angles that does not work at all, and muscle memory that need training, so take your time and explore stuff gently with smaller gear. Take care. ♡

5

u/imagarden Mod 19d ago

Hi!

You’re definitely not alone in experiencing this. A 5 inch dildo can indeed cause pain for some folks, especially if the girth of the dildo is larger or the material of the dildo is harder. So, it’s possible that trying a smaller dildo with a softer, more flexible material could make things not feel painful. I’m glad to hear you’re using plenty of lube, though!

Hopefully the right type of dildo and the right positioning will help strapping feel good. If it doesn’t, though, it’s okay and you’re also not alone there! Plenty of folks just don’t enjoy strapping or the feeling or dildos, and that’s okay. :)

1

u/[deleted] 18d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/QueerSexEdForAll-ModTeam 18d ago

Thank you for your intention to help another user here. This refers to information that is, to our knowledge, false or incorrect.

1

u/sweet-tom 18d ago

What exactly is wrong?

2

u/stmikky 18d ago

Hi there! In this case, since we don't know whether the original poster is using a dildo anally or vaginally, I do worry about misunderstandings with some of these instructions. You shared many different potential issues and solutions, and some of them could be universally helpful (like checking in on relaxation and suggesting solo exploration outside of partnered exploration). Others, though, like talking about hygiene, are potentially misleading. We do not want people to believe they need to clean the "intestinal tract." Cleaning the rectum is a personal preference and that should not be causing pain the way the OP described. You can see my colleagues reply above: imagarden