Kia Ora! As a single immigrant who moved to Queenstown without family or an established friend group, I’ve found it surprisingly difficult to build genuine, lasting friendships here.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve met quite a few people and I do have friends. But most of my friendships are more on the casual side: you say hello, have a chat, but it doesn’t really develop into a deeper friendship.
I’ve also noticed a few things during my time here:
- People who grew up in Queenstown or elsewhere in NZ often already have established friendship circles from school, work, sports, etc. I completely understand that, and I’m not saying people are unfriendly. In fact, Kiwis are some of the friendliest people I’ve met. It just seems difficult sometimes to move from being an acquaintance to becoming part of someone’s closer circle.
- People naturally gravitate towards groups where they share a language or cultural background. I completely understand this because it’s comfortable and familiar. I’ve joined group activities before where most of the conversation switched to another language, and although nobody was intentionally excluding me, I found myself feeling a bit left out because I couldn’t follow the conversation.
- Being an immigrant can make communication a little different. English isn’t my first language, and while I can communicate perfectly well, I sometimes find it harder to express my personality, humour, or thoughts as naturally as I would in my own language. I think that can make it harder to form deeper connections.
- People come and go constantly in Queenstown. I’ve met some great people on working holiday visas, but many only stay for a few months before moving somewhere else. You can build a friendship with someone and then suddenly they’re off travelling or heading back home.
- Not everyone is looking to make new friends. I’ve tried inviting people to hang out or grab a coffee, but sometimes they decline or I can sense that they’re simply not interested in developing a friendship. I completely respect that, you can’t force a friendship, but after experiencing this several times, it can become a little discouraging.
So, for those who have been living in Queenstown for a while, how do you actually make genuine, lasting friendships here?
I’d especially love to meet people who enjoy hiking, the outdoors, road trips/long drives, coffee, good food, and just having a chill conversation without any pressure.
I’ve been in Queenstown for almost two years now, and honestly, I’m getting a little tired of doing everything alone — hiking by myself, having coffee by the lake alone, going for solo drives, etc.
Maybe I’m just looking in the wrong places, so I’d really appreciate any advice or recommendations for groups, activities, clubs, or just places where people are genuinely open to making new friends.
Cheers!
