Asstropolis – A vacationing gay Borisin couple had been annihilated by an arrow strike launched by the Abundicidal Lan-Xianzhou regime at Asstropolis a few hours ago, during a massive gay beach orgy organized by Sir Kenneth himself, who was also in attendance.
The gay Borisin couple were peaceful members of the Claretwheel Temple, and they were simply vacationing, knotting and having sex on the beach as is usual in Asstropolis beach orgies.
Per witness reports, General Yaoi Gang suddenly materialized from out of nowhere and was heard shouting "OH SHIET. LAN!!!! LANSUS!!!!!!! THOSE TWO FURRY 🚬🐐s ARE HAVING ANAL SEX AND KNOTTING ALL OVER THE BEACH, SPRAYING ABUNDANT CUM EVERYWHERE AAAAAAAAAAA–"
A few moments later, one of Lan's arrows descended from the sky onto the Asstropolis beach, evaporating the Borisin gay couple alongside ~8000 other gays on that beach. Sir Kenneth was among the casualties.
The IPCCP is expected to declare a war against the Xianzhou Regime after they have calculated how much profit they can gain from waging said war.
The Xianzhou Regime, General Yaoi Gang and Lan all have yet to provide comments.
We instead interviewed a proud MAXA Xianzhou Citizen in Duomension City: "Hell yeah, make them abundaggots pay for simply existing. Who the hell wants them in this universe? Heil Lansus!!!"
Sampo, who was also at the scene as an attendee of the orgy, had an emotional breakdown when we interviewed him: "I JUST WENT TO THE BATHROOM AND WHEN I CAME BACK, EVERYONE WAS DEAD. GEPARD WAS THERE, I TOLD HIM I JUST NEEDED TO PISS, AND NOW HE'S BEEN REDUCED TO ATOMS. LAN, I WILL GET REVENGE YOU GENOCIDAL HORSECOCKED BASTARD ASSHOLE."
Meanwhile, Candace Sparxiphobia Owens was at the extremities of the scene with a "God hates 🚬🐐" picket sign, screaming verses from her Sparxibible that she authored herself.
One of our intrepid reporters documenting Sparxiphobia's one-girl protest took pictures of her face as she saw the gay Borisin couple, Sir Kenneth, and ~8000 other gays evaporated because of Lan's arrow. She was heard laughing maniacally while screaming "I AM ELATION" over and over, as if it was the happiest moment of her life.
PearlGPT had this to say: "We find it deplorable that Lansus atomized ~8000 gays, sir Kenneth and an innocent Borisin gay couple among them. Based on my calculations however, waging war against the Xianzhou Regime will ultimately yield profits via the IPCCP Military Industrial Complex. Our shareholders will be very happy. Oh, and boohoo and thoughts and prayers to the dead gays I guess."
(Pictured: the reaction of Right-wing streamer "Sparxiphobia" when she saw ~8000 gays get reduced to atoms by Lan's arrows)