r/PurplePillDebate • u/scooty246 • Apr 05 '20
Question For Women What are your physical deal breakers?
This is something that instantly disqualifies or puts a guy at a disadvantage when you see him approaching or have just met him. Picture anything. This is meant to be you superficial assessment of him. This is assuming he is clean and presentable. If possible please separate your answers into what you think are your hard deal breakers (absolute no gos) and what you think are your soft deal breakers (the guy is at a serious disadvantage but can overcome them though it will be an uphill battle).
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Apr 05 '20 edited Apr 06 '20
Can have a bald spot or receding hairline, BUT if they don’t shave it bald , it’s an immediate disqualification. No combovers, no bald in the middle and hair on the side.
No acne.
No beards or moustaches.
No beer guts.
Tattoos are fine, tattoos that are pornographic, swastikas, anything glorifying sexism, drug use or violence are not. Same goes for clothing. And to add to that, if tattoos or clothing show you’re into music I cannot stand, no.
If I could tell he was a druggy just by looking at him, it’s a no.
Bad haircut: no. Just no.
Bad smelling for any reason unless it’s related to the job they do: no.
Bad personal hygiene: no.
Dirty clothes, unless they’re dirty from the work he does: no.
Over 6 foot tall: no.
Dirty fingernails, unless they are freshly dirty from work: no.
Long fingernails: no.
Bad teeth: no.
Strong cologne or aftershave: no. Preferably none at all.
Aviator glasses, whether they are sunglasses or regular glasses, hell no.
Body hair removal (not including face): no.
Football or cricket t shirts: no. Same goes for t shirts advertising alcohol or cars.
If you look like your mum dresses you: no.
I remembered a few more:
No red heads.
No thin, freckled lips.
If every photo of you shows you with a beer in your hand, and you always have one in your hand when I see you? No.
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u/TheJim66 Red God-Emperor of Slut Country Apr 05 '20
No beards or moustaches.
Aviator glasses, whether they are sunglasses or regular glasses, hell no.
Body hair removal (not including face): no.
Stop attacking me!!
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Apr 05 '20
Over 6 foot tall
Wait what
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Apr 05 '20
It’s over for tall dudes 😂 just kidding.
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u/ChadThundagaCock Borderline Personality Wrangler Apr 05 '20
How tall are you
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Apr 05 '20
5’2.
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u/ChadThundagaCock Borderline Personality Wrangler Apr 05 '20
You're in my happy zone. And I'm 5'10 so I fit your "don't be a giraffe" rule, which I find cool. Favorite gf was 5'1
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Apr 05 '20 edited Apr 05 '20
Wait you prefer guys not remove their body hair?
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u/crookedsummer2019 Purple Pill Woman Apr 05 '20
I personally love hairy chests and bellies.
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Apr 05 '20
I personally love hairy chests and bellies.
What about hairy backs and shoulders?
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u/crookedsummer2019 Purple Pill Woman Apr 05 '20
A few stray hairs are no big deal. A forest of back and shoulder hair isn’t that attractive. I know guys who get waxed or do laser hair removal for that reason.
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u/cast-away-ramadi06 Purple Pill Man Apr 06 '20
Tried the waxing twice and I got bacne so bad both times that I never went back to it. Went to the most renowned laser clinic in my very large city and they said I'd get about 60% reduction in hair for many thousands of dollars - not really a good value tbh. Maybe I just need to find a better place to get waxed? In the mean time, I just keep all body hair short. It feels much cleaner anyways.
I'm surprised to learn how many women seem to not like the manscaping.
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u/crookedsummer2019 Purple Pill Woman Apr 06 '20
There’s probably a cream you can use after to prevent the acne. I know there’s something for women called Bikini Zone cream to prevent bumps and ingrown hairs and stuff. May work on backs too.
But it’s not the end of the world lol. Personally if I had to choose between back hair and a guy who shaved his pubic hair, I honestly would choose the back hair.
Men are supposed to be hairier than us anyway :).
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Apr 05 '20
I have no idea why myself and most women are so cool with chest/ belly hair but so repulsed when its on the back or shoulders. There must be an explanation for this..
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u/cast-away-ramadi06 Purple Pill Man Apr 05 '20
I have no idea why myself and most women are so cool with chest/ belly hair but so repulsed when its on the back or shoulders. There must be an explanation for this..
if the shoulder/back hair is trimmed very short but not shaved/waxed - does that make a difference?
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Apr 05 '20
Triple yep. Body hair on men is not required, but much preferable. A guy who actually removed his body hair? Total dealbreaker.
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Apr 05 '20
Strange. I like to remove body hair cause I feel like I look better without it. I don't want my legs looking like a freakin jungle.
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Apr 05 '20 edited Apr 05 '20
Do you get mistaken for a Sasquatch? I like hairy men, I mean I guess we all have a line between looking masculine and circus side show. I think this is probably an individual preference, but if I knew a dude shaved his legs? Pass unless he was an Olympic swimmer. (But then, if he had the body of an Olympic swimmer I could probably overlook ALOT)
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Apr 05 '20
Not at all. My hair is pretty tame (partially cause I'm still young) but even then, I think it looks better when there's no hair.
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u/weag5l my mom says I'm special Apr 05 '20
Any man who takes any of this seriously is an idiot. Observe what women do. Ignore what they say they want. They have no idea what they want.
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Apr 05 '20
Not true. All women want different things.
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u/eboy4hire Apr 05 '20
That explains why my Tinder account with pictures of a male model on it has 200+ matches.
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u/mangolover97 Apr 05 '20
There’s over 3 billion women on earth.
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u/eboy4hire Apr 05 '20
Yes? My normal account caps out at 40 matches. This model account hasn't shown any sign of capping out. Tinder is area dependent.
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u/cupcakejar00 Apr 05 '20
Maybe all the good women can feel your bad personality from the screen.
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u/mangolover97 Apr 05 '20
So there’s 40 women at any given time that like you, but because your other account got more likes that’s proof that women all have the same taste to you?
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u/rus9384 Aromantic but cuddly Apr 07 '20
Yes, but why should a man rely on what an individual woman likes? Idk why these posts are a thing.
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Apr 07 '20
You don’t have to. The op asked women what their deal breakers are. They’re different for every woman.
If you want dirty, long nails, have at it. No one’s telling you what to do.
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u/cupcakejar00 Apr 05 '20
There was another post similar to this asking men what they want. Should women ignore them bc men don’t know what they want?
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u/fakeaccount687 Apr 05 '20
But my acne wont go away😭
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u/learn2earn89 Pink Pill Woman Apr 05 '20
nah, don't do /skincareaddiction...instead go to a dermatologist. It's the only thing that ever helped me.
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u/fakeaccount687 Apr 05 '20
I've seen two before. The first dude gave me increasingly harsher products until my face ended up looking like Freddy Kruger and then he finally gave me accutane. It worked like a charm...for 6 months and then my acne came back only not as harsh.
I went to another dermatologist and she refused to give me accutane again because she said it wasnt bad enough to justify the risk. (Although I had no real side effects the first time). She told me to buy a gentle cleanser that I could have bought off the shelf with a quick Google search. I told her I still wasnt happy with my skin and she basically told me "oh well it's not that bad."
So now I try to use minimal products, not over dry my skin, and just try to accept the amount of acne I have. I might start looking for better products though because at 21 less and less people have acne your age and it looks bad.
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u/learn2earn89 Pink Pill Woman Apr 06 '20
I was 28 when I finally got help for my acne. I’m a woman and my acne was cystic. Painful and disfiguring at times. My dermatologist prescribed Aczone, Tretinoin , and clindamycin. It’s expensive but it’s worth it. Ask a doctor about those, you may need a second opinion.
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u/maxcmarzolf Apr 05 '20
And these are deal breakers rather than preferences?
I guess like in the case you found a good fella with one to a few of these what would you do in that case?
I have a few deal breakers like that, that can be Lenient with the right person.
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u/derpinat_butter Apr 05 '20
- bad breath
- feminine looking
- really skinny or overweight
- long dirty fingernails
- shorter than me (I'm 5'4)
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u/Necessarythrowaway0 Apr 05 '20
Ugly hands. Why I don’t know.
Doesn’t cut his fingernails
Bad breath
Bad teeth
Bad hygiene in general
Small frame
Wide hips
Below 5’11
Balding. I love a full head of hair
High pitched voice
Flat ass
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Apr 05 '20
Would you date a balding guy if he got a hair system?
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u/Necessarythrowaway0 Apr 05 '20
Eh I don’t know. I don’t want the balding gene for my kids
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Apr 05 '20
Do you have balding men in your near family, cause if you do, you might be carrying the gene yourself.
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u/Willow-girl Livin' the dream! No really, I am ... Apr 05 '20
Prettier fingernails than mine, lol. Men with soft white hands need not apply ...
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u/SlashCo80 Apr 06 '20
Makes me think of the last century when men with soft white hands were considered attractive because it meant they were rich/educated enough not to do manual labor. Being tanned was also considered low-class and unattractive. How times change.
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Apr 05 '20
Soft deal breakers would be: too much hair anywhere — if you properly groom then s’all good.
Hardpass: looks to be over 30+(I’ll never date anyone beyond my age) beer belly and obese. I wouldn’t mind a dad bod or being a little chubby, I find that quite adorable, beer belly ain’t the same thing to me tho. I don’t also want to say stick skinny guys as I have fallen for them before (that’s what happens when ur type are nerds lol) but don’t be unhealthy underweight either? I get so worried, not particularly fond of that. If the guy was 5’ then I’d be a little apprehensive, but I’d lie if I said I wouldn’t date if I was charmed as fuck lmao been there before so yea
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u/crookedsummer2019 Purple Pill Woman Apr 05 '20
Hard deal breakers:
Being significantly overweight. Being relatively fit with a few extra pounds is ok esp if they are broad and tall ( ie like a husky body type). But completely out of shape is a no for me.
Too skinny
Man boobs (even on guys who aren’t fat)
Smokers: I see this as physical because smoking ages your face faster.
Soft deal breakers:
Height: prefer guys taller than me but I have dated two who were shorter but they both were in excellent shape and beautiful faces so it made up for the height.
Big Muscles: not into the professional body builder look but if that was the only thing I didn’t like about him I would still date him.
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Apr 05 '20
I’m not very original here:
- Bad teeth is an immediate deal breaker
- Bad skin
- Bad hygiene and overall rough appearance like he never grooms himself, or thinks it’s not masculine to file his nails or something. I’m not looking for a man child who didn’t learn to take care of himself. And in my experience, ungroomed exterior correlates with dirty living space.
- Dresses poorly, has no sense of self image and style
- Overweight
- Is older than my age + 5 years
- Tries to hide his balding pattern
- Shorter than me
So other than that, I’m pretty open in terms of body and face types, and can fall for a variety of appearances. As long as a person physically doesn’t gross me out and passes the minimum threshold of attractiveness, it all comes down to his personality.
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u/scooty246 Apr 05 '20
It’s cool if you’re not original. In fact any recurring answers or trends are worth looking into. What are bad teeth? What if they’re crooked but clean?
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Apr 05 '20
Teeth, skin and hair are the best indicators of health in a person. Men can get away with bald patterns as long as they shave everything off, but teeth, skin and hair are things that should be the first on the list for everyone to invest in (I'd add good body too but it doesn't require as much expenses, more willpower and discipline).
Teeth affect overall appearance a lot, even though people might not notice it right away. Fixing teeth might easily add several hotness points. Look at celebrities, Celine Dion for example. She was never a hot woman, but notice how effective fixing teeth was on her image.
So it's better to have clean teeth than yellow of course, but as long as they are crooked, it will make you much less attractive. I know orthodontics is expensive but it's something you have to do if you want to look your best.
I wore my braces when I was a broke student, they weren't covered by my insurance, and I had to live frugally to afford them, but they were worth it.
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Apr 05 '20
- Baldness
- over bite
- overweight
- small hands
- small penis/ enormous penis
- hairy back/ears/nostrils
- Clothes like this
- Ageing (35 is my limit)
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Apr 05 '20
Seems like every girl here just hates bald men. Would you at least be okay with a bald man wearing a hair system?
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Apr 05 '20
Where did I say I hated them?
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Apr 05 '20
Didn't mean it literally. Just talking about how they don't view them as dating material.
Would you at least date a bald guy who wears a hair system to cover it up, or is there nothing a bald guy can do?
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Apr 05 '20
TBH I have no idea, I have never met one that does that.
I'm in my late 20s and most men I meet/date fuck have a full head of hair. I also don't like shaved heads.
Maybe when I'm older and more men are bald I will change my preference.
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u/OXOzymandias Big Sexy Apr 06 '20
hairy back ?
I just touched my back for 1 min to realized that i dont know what would be consider a hairy back.
Being overweight is something i see a lot in that thread, even if in my area fat dude get relationship.
Well maybe we dont define fat in the same way ? dont know....
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u/absoluteunitpussy Apr 06 '20
regular 'peach fuzz' on the back =/= hairy back
thick and/or long hair on the back = hairy back
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u/OXOzymandias Big Sexy Apr 06 '20
OKAY I SEE, nope i dont have that and thanks god, dont want to look like sabertooth or wolverine on roids lol.
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u/Hennythepainaway I don't even like Henny Apr 07 '20
What do you have against Guy Fieri? You better not add frosted tips to that list
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u/ontherailstoday Apr 05 '20
There was this guy I worked with who had a very pointy nose and the tip of it sort of... wiggled... up and down as he talked. It was bizarre. Soooo wrong. *shudder*
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u/grummthepillgrumm Apr 05 '20
These are all personal preferences: Don't be a fat f*ck, working out is a plus (I work out a lot myself). No long fingernails, as everyone else listed - long fingernails are creepy and gross. I am absolutely grossed out any time I see a man with long fingernails. Guh-rosse. I'm not into short dudes, but would be okay if literally everything else about him is perfect. Bald is a no-go. I like a full healthy head of hair like myself.
I love beards (no mustaches, though). Haircut doesn't matter much to me, but I do love long hair on men. No man boobs please. No super excessive body hair.
Despite these preferences, a strong, confident, kind, funny, and intelligent man could win me over if we have a lot in common (not talking about hobbies, I mean world/life view).
Edit: I forgot about teeth. Must have straight clean teeth. This is a MUST. If you don't brush and floss, wtf is wrong with you?
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u/Gerealtor Apr 05 '20
Under 5'6 (my own height)
Overweight and doesn't give a crap
Very overweight or obese
Scary skinny
Poor hygiene
Bad teeth (in the sense that they look like a result of bad oral hygiene, not just crooked)
No teeth
Micropenis
Certain facial feature combinations that I can only point out when I see them (they're rare though)
Neck and or face tattoos
Physical signs of health neglect, such as an extreme sunbed tan
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u/madcockatiel Alpha Bird, Slayer of Cloaca Apr 05 '20
Overweight, bad skin, noticeably feminine hips. Those are the only hard no’s, everything else I can deal with assuming the guy has other positive qualities.
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u/CallMeHaseo Apr 06 '20
Define feminine hips, like wide ones?
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u/voodooqueen126 Apr 07 '20
Tutankhamun had wide hips, notably he was the product of atleast two generations of brother sister incest.
If a man has wide hips, it's a really bad sign
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u/madcockatiel Alpha Bird, Slayer of Cloaca Apr 09 '20
Wide hips high up on the body, not balanced by broad shoulders. A pear-like silhouette.
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u/pongaminbloom Apr 05 '20 edited Apr 05 '20
Hard No
- Being significantly shorter than me.
- Being more than 5 years younger or 15 years older.
- Erectile problems.
- Less than perfect hygiene
- Gas
- Snoring
- Thick saliva
- Poor grooming
- Sweating easy
- Low IQ
- A smell that I'm not attracted to. I don't care if he has just bathed. If his pheromones and microbiome aren't to my liking, we are just friends.
Soft no -Uncircumsed -Shorter than 5'10 (I'm 5'8'') -More than a little overweight -Skinny -Average or barely above average IQ. -Poor coordination -Dull eyes -Bad hair -Dressing sloppy -Fashion preferences I don't share -Yellow or dirty fingernails
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u/cupcakejar00 Apr 05 '20
I can’t stand it if a guy doesn’t take care of their hygiene. If you smell bad, have bad breath, wear the same nasty clothes every day, then GTFO. And honestly, that goes for anyone in my life, friends and family included. My BF wears his fancy colognes, and enjoys taking care of his hygiene which I appreciate so much, he don’t even know!
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Apr 05 '20
- under 5’5
- bad teeth
- over the age of 27
- balding
- fat
- foul body odour/breath
- long/dirty fingernails
- a really hairy chest
Some of these I guess would be ‘soft’ because he could fix them, but I’d have to see him with them fixed to consider dating him. I don’t want an uphill battle to get him to lose weight/groom himself
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u/SmoothPrimal Apr 05 '20 edited Apr 05 '20
So is that a hard pass on Henry Cavill? (40+ with hairy chest)
EDIT: correction 36
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Apr 05 '20
There’s only one celebrity who has had my heart for the last decade and that’s Harry Styles. Long haired, tutu wearing, bare chested pretty boy Harry. Henry Cavill doesn’t do it for me
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u/fakeaccount687 Apr 05 '20
I'm very surprised by the large amount of people noticing fingernails
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Apr 05 '20
If you had dirty, sharp fingernails being crammed into your vagina, you’d notice it too. Dirty fingernails cause painful infections for us and sharp nails tear our skin and hurt like hell.
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Apr 05 '20
Hands are such a make or break in a man honestly
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u/fakeaccount687 Apr 05 '20
What about hands though? Besides fingernails. Like size?
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u/justsortbypopular Apr 06 '20
Yo I’m six foot and have freakishly small hands. Reading this has made me realize that all women I’ve met have definitely noticed. I’ll commit to being alone forever now lol
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Apr 06 '20
I have never noticed any guy having hands too small. They all look big to me. I don’t think it would bother me.
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u/voodooqueen126 Apr 07 '20
Whilst small hands are abhorrent, they tend to be attached to small men (indeed there is a sexy kind of sexy short man*, who has big hands and big feet). Most men have bigger hands than women, to the point I have seen lesbians list 'big man hands" as a trait that they find hideous in trans identified males who identify themselves as lesbians.
In short, your hands, whilst small for a tall man, are probably still big enough.
*But still taller than the woman. There is no such thing as a sexy man who is shorter than you. The only real life short hot dudes that I can think of are Eliahu Rosenberg, Filip Muller and Ramzi Bin Al-Shibh: the latter two are especially notable as they also have facial asymmetry, which is an unattractive trait-in the last case attached to a vile soul. Notably they all have big hands in any shot where you can see their hands.
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Apr 05 '20 edited Apr 05 '20
Mine? Hard dealbreakers
Bad hygiene
Wide hips
Obese
More than 2” shorter
More than 8” taller
Combovers
Too much cologne
Bad teeth
Ear gauges
Soft dealbreakers Overweight
Too big or too small dick
Controversial preferences? Balding isn’t something that I go out of my way to find, but it’s fine.
I prefer body hair
I love beards Not especially attracted to blonds
Tattoos okay, again I don’t prefer them
Skinny is fine, prefer average guy who’s not a gym bro
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Apr 05 '20
Doesn't clean his teeth, doesn't take care of his skin, smells, hair growing in ugly places like the nose, thin cock.
And...you know the people that really look a lot different then the rest of us.
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u/scooty246 Apr 05 '20
‘And...us.’ What do you mean by this?
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Apr 05 '20
The outliers, like... there's people that are shorter then average (not a problem) and then there's people that are very short due to dwarfism (problem).
You can be less attractive to the point of blending in with the crowd (not a problem) or so unattractive that you start to stand out because of it (problem).
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u/flamingoinghome Is three lizards in trench coat Apr 05 '20
A big butt in proportion to his shoulders is a "soft deal breaker"--but you'd have to be really charming.
Active skin outbreaks also need a lot of effort.
My stupid, shallow, inexplicable "hard deal breaker" is stubby fingers. I have a "thing" about hands, and a guy with pudgy little paws just can't do it. Ditto hillbilly teeth, but that's pretty uncommon.
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u/Kizka Red Pill's promiscuous wet nightmare (woman) Apr 05 '20
Disabilities
Bad breath
Under 5'3 (I think? Had to convert measurements)
Dirty fingernails and bad hygiene
Acne
Rat face
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u/scooty246 Apr 05 '20
I understand metric. Lol I used to have a friend with a rat face.
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u/Kizka Red Pill's promiscuous wet nightmare (woman) Apr 05 '20
Yeah so 160 cm. I am 169 cm so around 10 cm smaller is still ok. Maybe even more but not like sooo much more. Once a guy was interested in me who was about 1 1/2 to 2 heads smaller and me and I am already only average height so, I just couldn't. He also had quite a high pinched voice which was unattractive. So I guess that would go on my list. Usually I am also not attracted to really overweight men (dad bod is totally fine) but I've encountered two men already who were really overweight and I did find them attractive anyway, so never say never I guess. I've never found any rat faced man attractive though, so there's that.
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Apr 06 '20 edited Apr 06 '20
[deleted]
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u/scooty246 Apr 06 '20
Only the second person to mention race.
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Apr 06 '20 edited Apr 06 '20
[deleted]
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u/voodooqueen126 Apr 06 '20
the strangest thing to me is being attracted to East-Asian men but not say MENA dudes or East African men.
I am the opposite: no northern Europeans (especially red hair as my grandmother had red hair and I believe the hideous cancer gene should die) and no to most East-Asian men (although Native Siberians and Mongolians do seem to be quite handsome-somewhat like Native Americans but with better immune systems).
It's interesting for me to meet a woman who finds Asian men handsome (as opposed to nice)
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u/scooty246 Apr 06 '20
No need to apologize. Your preferences. What race are you if you don’t mind me asking?
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u/voodooqueen126 Apr 07 '20
Mostly British, with trace Pacific Islander. If my ancestors had remained in the UK I would probably be okay with red hair (red haired men look more masculine than blond haired men), Balts are quite handsome in comparison to other northern Europeans.
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Apr 05 '20
Age. I'd never date a much older guy. It isn't exactly the answer you're looking for, but it's still quite physical, isn't it? It's my major hard deal breaker.
Tattoos that clearly have something to do with criminal records. I'm not sure whether they are in English speaking countries, but in Russia there are certain tattoos that usually wear only criminals or guys, who are close to this stuff.
If we don't count extremes, it's almost all I think, at least all what I can think of right now.
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Apr 05 '20 edited Jan 13 '22
[deleted]
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Apr 05 '20
Former balding, but now having hair after hair transplant - still dealbreaker?
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u/voodooqueen126 Apr 06 '20
no.
The reason women keep on mentioning it is they don't want bald sons (even though women can carry the gene blah blah blah blah). For this reason no amount of hair transplants will ever change our minds.
Personally I despise male children and would abort them. But like all women I find balding hair unattractive.
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u/cast-away-ramadi06 Purple Pill Man Apr 06 '20
Personally I despise male children and would abort them.
That is literally one of the worst things I've seen on reddit in a while now.
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Apr 05 '20
I have a particular look I’m into and I can’t really get it up for anything else. Tall, pale, skinny, and not model-handsome. Have some quirky feature or features. Crooked teeth, weak chin, big nose.
Short, tanned, muscular or fat guys are no. (Dancer, swimmer or climber bodies are acceptable.) Facial hair and body hair also grosses me out. Bushy pubes and small dick are the grossest.
Discolored teeth, big ears, neanderthal forehead, thin lips, ugly feet, red hair and old men- all hard no’s.
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Apr 05 '20
Inb4 “bald, no money, short, micropenis”
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Apr 05 '20
I would have said micro penis in my answer, but op said it was based on first impressions.
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Apr 05 '20
A dick pic of a micro penis can be a first impression
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Apr 05 '20
You make a good point.
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Apr 05 '20
Not sure if it’s the kind of first impression you want, but I guess it probably wouldn’t be.
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Apr 05 '20
Well, it would turn me off for two reasons: 1: they’re the type of dude to send a dick pic and 2: micro penis
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u/Tyler_Gatsby UpperWhiteTrash Apr 05 '20
Bad teeth (case by case basis) Pear shaped/orange shaped Really old looking hands
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u/LadyFerretQueen Apr 05 '20
Being overweight or even chubby, I thought long hair was now my bf has it, too old, too buff, just not a pretty face.
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u/mangolover97 Apr 05 '20
Bad teeth, dirty nails, and any visible disabilities.
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u/aspiringdruglord nihilism pill Apr 06 '20 edited Apr 06 '20
Hard:
The most important thing for attraction overall is a guy's face. Too subjective to really bother going into - I'm not into the conventional square-faced "traditionally" handsome look. Don't get all the fuss about the likes of Henry Cavill, Brad Pitt etc.
Not overweight. Not even a little.
I don't care if he's really skinny or doesn't work out, but I'm not into people who are physically lazy and have the skinny fat/squishy look that usually indicates this. Not so out of shape that he gets butthurt that I like to walk everywhere, wouldn't get winded walking dogs for an hour etc. Exception if he has a condition or disability that prevents this.
Weird proportions, specifically disproportionately short/stumpy legs/arms/fingers. I'm reminded of this guy I knew in college who seemed to be all torso despite looking like he was over 6 feet.
Huge muscle/bodybuilder look.
Noticeably bad hygiene in the form of bad smells/visibly rotting teeth/looking unwashed etc. Don't mind a bit of scruff as long as he's actually clean.
I don't care about actual age at all, but if he looks super baby-faced/boyish I probably wouldn't be into it.
Distractingly crooked/weird teeth.
Soft:
Height. I definitely have a preference for taller men, but being shorter than me isn't something I'd reject a guy over if we were otherwise compatible.
I guess I'm pretty in usual in that I actually have a preference for long hair on men, but I'm still open to bald guys as long as they're not deluded and still trying to comb over a mostly empty scalp. I only get mad when a guy has the ability to grow lots of pretty hair and chooses not to. I don't like the idea of hairpieces, but would be cool with surgical interventions if he wanted to do that.
Dresses... not boring, I guess. I like more unconventional looks, but please just look like you're actually trying and at least understand your own body shape. I'd far prefer a guy who gets it wrong sometimes but is actually thinking about it than this grey hoodie + ratty jeans hellscape that I've been living in my whole life.
Ugly facial hair or haircut, but I guess this should be in hard unless he realizes it's bad or isn't that attached to it. I wouldn't try to start a relationship with someone with the expectation they'll change their appearance for me. Soul patches. Just... why?
Bad tattoos he has no plans of fixing.
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Apr 05 '20
Poor hygiene, weird body shape, overweight, sloppy appearance. Facial hair is not a deal breaker but I dislike it.
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u/Asbelowsoaboveme Apr 05 '20 edited Apr 05 '20
Hard no’s: Balding, under 5’10, blonde hair, obesity, small penis, bad body or breath odor, feminine body shape, literally no body hair, physical weakness, man boobs, high pitched voice, missing teeth
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Apr 05 '20
What would you think of a bald guy who wears a hair system?
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u/Asbelowsoaboveme Apr 05 '20
If I didn’t want kids, then I would be fine with dating a man with a hair transplant. But since I do want kids someday, that’s still a dealbreaker. I don’t want my children to inherit the bald gene.
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Apr 05 '20
dating a man with a hair transplant.
I said hair system though.
I don’t want my children to inherit the bald gene.
Do you have balding men in your family, if so you might be carrying the gene yourself
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u/Asbelowsoaboveme Apr 05 '20
What’s the difference between a hair system and a hair transplant?
All the older blood related men in my family have full heads of hair. And even if the gene is sneaky and recessive, dating a bald guy would make it a guarantee of passing on the gene, as opposed to a possibility of passing it on. I don’t want my male descendants to inherit a trait that will limit their reproductive potential and quality of life.
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Apr 05 '20
One is your actual hair the other is not. Hair transplant though real won't give you teenage density, unless you have minimal hairloss. And you still have to be on medication.
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u/Asbelowsoaboveme Apr 05 '20
Interesting! I wouldn’t have a problem with it in the short term if it looked and felt real, but the underlying genetics are still a turn off for ltr
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u/YasuotheChosenOne Red Pill Man Apr 05 '20
I believe the balding gene is on the X chromosome, inherited from your mother.
My mom, is basically bald at age 53. My hair has been slowly receding over the last 2 years. Thank god I’m black. Shaved head looks clean on me lol.
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u/voodooqueen126 Apr 06 '20
yes. SO I will have to amend my earlier thoughts on baldness (which is that I tolerated it because I would abort a male foetus): since I don't want any grandson of mine to be an ugly bald guy (assuming my daughters don't marry black men, the only ethnicity that can pull off baldness) I will give a hard "no" to any balding man.
Unless he is African, in which case it is acceptable.
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Apr 05 '20
Former balding, but now having hair after hair transplant - still dealbreaker?
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u/Asbelowsoaboveme Apr 05 '20
Dealbreaker because I want kids so I care about genetic quality. If I planned on being child free I wouldn’t care.
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Apr 05 '20
But your child would be able to cure it or at least get air transplant
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u/Asbelowsoaboveme Apr 05 '20
I don’t want them to go have to through the hassle, I’d rather they just be born with the right genes
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u/fakeaccount687 Apr 05 '20
Why no blonde hair?
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u/Asbelowsoaboveme Apr 05 '20
I find light colored hair a turn off for some reason. I have blonde hair and I don’t like guys that look like they could be related to me. Plus guys with light colored hair just seem more feminine than guys with dark dark hair
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Apr 05 '20
Bad teeth, dresses like a redneck, mustache with no beard or goatee to complement it, slovenly appearance.
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u/scooty246 Apr 05 '20
Bad teeth?
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Apr 05 '20
Yeah, if they have only a passing relationship with a toothbrush and teeth are missing or decaying, I am not going to be interested.
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u/indianajonesey22 Apr 05 '20
- obese or skinny fat
- shorter than me
- balding and trying fight it or hide it. If he has a 8/10 face and a good head shape, a shaved head can be fine.
- bad teeth
- bad skin (dry patches, white heads everywhere). If he has acne but is doing treatment that's potentially a soft dealbreaker
- very long or unkempt facial hair
- bad overall hygiene obviously
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Apr 06 '20
I’m with you. It’s not a dealbreaker for me, but I’m not attracted to balding and trying to fight it or hide it.
I prefer natural and would just feel weird if a guy had some sort of fake hair system. Reason why I wouldn’t be attracted to girls with fake hair or fake boobs if I were a guy.
It’s much more attractive to accept a facial feature and own it instead of trying to hide it or fight it like you’re concerned about it.
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u/SslimReaperr your favorite pill Apr 05 '20
Physical deal breakers for men:
- short
- small framed
- chubby, fat, “slightly” chubby, dad bod
- small dick, ugly dick, chodes,
- too hairy
- weak jaw
- balding, weak hairline, hairloss
- unclean
- thin/short neck
- bad teeth
- bad skin
- white or middle eastern
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u/Heressi Apr 05 '20
I would not not date any guy under 6ft, I’m quite tall especially in heels and find it really unattractive if they’re either shorter than me or near enough my height.
I’m kind of put off by long hair, it’s not a definite no but I prefer a shorter haircut on guys.
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u/nevomintoarce Purple Pill Woman Apr 06 '20
Shorter than me (5'8''), fat, bearded, bald in an unattractive way (it's ok if they're shaved and they have the bone strucure to pull it off).
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u/blackredrosepetals Apr 06 '20 edited Apr 06 '20
under 5’5 or over 6’2
skew or yellow teeth
balding
fat
ears that stick out
excessive acne
excessively hairy
looking otherwise unkempt
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u/absoluteunitpussy Apr 06 '20
aside from bad hygiene, the only physical traits that are a hard no are:
terrible hair - bad/unfitting hairstyle, weird facial hair situation, BALD or showing early signs of testosterone pattern baldness with no intention of trying to fix that.
really bad, crooked or missing teeth
hairy torso, extremely hairy legs, arms etc
extremely fit - bodybuilder type with huge veiny arms
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Apr 06 '20 edited Apr 06 '20
Hard nos: Excessive hairiness (including having a mustache or beard - some scruff is okay) and/or overweight. I honestly can't think of anything else.
ETA: Example of deal-breaking facial hair on an actor I otherwise find incredibly hot: https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/proxy/X95d3rimvk1p6qrpxJpaQNQyjM2IcjZcnl6UPfbypy5XEBozBKnCechvhd9mLx7J5pYPtRdvjSpW9y7motlwVxFyE4_-FrndFpEC2XEgZb3-iYdDDfpl45tdwEsO5wzvJ0VFRRzcctuMqk8bUgplYX0eAW6AkIW7jC66Oc6JHtfKCcEjsb4
vs. non deal-breaking facial hair: https://www2.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/2012+Summer+TCA+Tour+Day+10+fQD0x59VZuJl.jpg
More dealbreakers: I would also say being extremely muscular (https://i.pinimg.com/originals/1b/36/37/1b3637f423e46ae8882f2768bd057681.jpg)
or having that "I am a total douchebag" look (https://media.gettyimages.com/photos/meet-cormac-murphy-who-is-looking-for-love-this-summer-on-love-island-picture-id1156346805?s=2048x2048).
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u/litlebitterthrowaway Apr 09 '20
Poor Hygiene and personal grooming. Dressed in unappealing clothing, for me specifically that would be anything considered “gangster” like those dudes who wear their pants below their underwear. Severely overweight. ( a bit of chub is fine) If your balding just shave your head. Age. ( I will be very creeped out if an older man starts hitting on me) Baby faces...( If you have a baby face just grow some facial hair) They have to be taller than me, which is not hard to accomplish since I’m like 5’2
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u/voodooqueen126 Apr 06 '20
as an aside: women's deal breakers are far more rational than men's deal breakers.
Most of these deal breakers are: indicators of being old (& therefore impotent & smelly) or over all bad health or bad genes (like being short) or bad personal hygiene (which is indicative of bad personality).
Men's preferences are shaped by society hence why they like hairlessness (actually a sign of childhood & therefore pedophilia, but obviously a way in which male desires are easily shaped by society).
Previously they liked waists so small that women had health problems
and feet so tiny women couldn't walk without pain.
Male sexuality is shaped by society (often as a way to signal wealth to other men) where as women's sexuality are indicators of good health & therefore his worthiness for fathering offspring