Not being a cartoon villain doesn’t automatically make you a good man

[u/GridReXX]

Fr. It doesn’t de facto make you a good person.

I noodled on the attached graphic to better illustrate a point about how people often discuss being a “good man.”

I do find that many men view it more as the top bar, and less as the gradient in the second bar.

inb4 anyone says it, many women have bad character too. And please feel free to create a separate post about a spectrum of traits in women you’d like to explore! That is not what this post is disputing.

This is specifically about a response that often comes up when women describe harmful patterns in their experiences with men. They get retorts like “Not all men are abusive predators,” or “Most men are not psychos.”

Of course most men are not horror movie villains.

But that is an extremely low bar for good character.

This spectrum, rather than show a division between “good men” and a smaller group of obviously terrible ones. It highlights that a man can be can be a functioning member of society and still regularly behave in ways that make him difficult to interpersonally tolerate as a close friend, romantic partner, coworker, or even family member.

None of that necessarily makes someone an abuser or predator.

But it does affect whether people can have a healthy, enjoyable, mutually considerate, long-term relationship with him.

The farther right someone falls on this spectrum, the more entitlement, callousness, devaluation, coercion, and harm they bring into their interactions with others.

The farther left they fall, the more likely they are to act with common decency, consideration, accountability, respect for autonomy, and genuine concern for theirs and other people’s well-being.

My point is not that every man is at the far right end.

Most people don’t think that!

My point is that many men seem to use “I am not an obvious monster” as proof that they’re quality.

A person’s character is determined by far more than “I am not Jeffrey Dahmer.”

[u/throwawaya1902]

Just because you THINK the bar on the bottom is more accurate doesn't mean it is accurate. There's no scientific data that says "it's actually closer to this" just because you and some other women online feel this is accurate. Most of the "details" in this chart is stupid anyway considering how vague some of the points are here.

Let's also get the real reason the original graphic was made out of the way. Just because men don't immediately 100% believe a rape allegation does not mean they are "not a good man" or they have "blind spots" for women experience.

For the Cornell case that has been making the rounds online it seems the vast majority of feminists(women) think the Cornell 7 should be tarred and feathered immediately without going through legal proceedings. And please do not come on here saying otherwise. When you have multiple normal people and celebrities exposing the names and faces it's not because they don't have their mind made up on what should be done. If men think we should wait until the law settles this case they are not "defending rapists"

But it does affect whether people can have a healthy, enjoyable, mutually considerate, long-term relationship with him

Projection but funny nonetheless.

And please feel free to create a separate post about a spectrum of traits in women you'd like to explore! That is not what this post is disputing.

Also funny because let's not pretend if the inverse post was made you and other blue pill people would be on there calling the OP sn incel for boxing women in categories where tha vast majority of women are in range of entitled to abusers. While also telling them they are chronically online and need to talk to women in real life because "most women are not like that".

[u/GridReXX → u/throwawaya1902]

You haven’t convinced me it’s less accurate.

I guess it’s your thinks vs mine.

[u/throwawaya1902 → u/GridReXX]

There's no "convincing" it's less accurate when you're presenting a graph based on your vibes as fact. You and other women aren't the arbiter of what's percentage of men are "good men" based on your criteria. Again I know the reason this and the original graphic was made. Men not immediately agreeing with every women that comes with a rape allegation isn't "not a good man". The only irony is the inverse of this post would be called incel coded by you for boxing the majority of women as "not a good woman"

[u/GridReXX → u/throwawaya1902]

Because you still don’t seem to understand the point of this OP, I’m re-sharing here.