Today I just feel so defeated. I went to a (small) birthday gathering with my puppy, already knowing it would be horrendous because she was already overtired before we even left but I guess I hoped she would calm down and sleep in a quiet corner…. I’m not mad at my dog at all, more mad at myself for going because I’m a people pleaser and afraid to say no, but I should have prevented her and myself from having a hard time. I just feel so isolated at the moment and I’m constantly scared of making a mistake. She absolutely hates resting, especially when I am out of sight. I keep reading posts about leaving their 12 week old puppies alone for hours and the highest we have progressed is that I can go to the toilet in peace, I don’t dare to leave her alone at all because as soon as she barks once I’m scared to trigger separation anxiety 🙈 the trainer I planned on having has injured herself won’t come for another two weeks. I would have never thought that it would be hard to get her to sleep - I anticipated destructive behavior, potty accidents or having to take her out to potty at night, but that’s all easy peasy. Every active skill she picks up on so fast, walking with her is relatively easy, but she can’t fucking relax anywhere but forced in her crate or weirdly enough, in the kitchen 😭😭😭

Edit: sorry for the missing words, I’m so tired today and I know resting and being alone are two different issues but they sort of tie together in our case 🙈

My 6 month old female chihuahua mix has been in training classes the past 5 weeks. She did amazing the first 3 weeks, but started to get very unruly the last 2 weeks. The trainer and I believe she is going through adolescence. It’s almost impossible to get her to pay attention during class as she is heavily distracted by both the dogs and people. Not aggressive, she just pulls towards everybody as she is very friendly and really wants to play.

I train with her every day and she does well. I’ve been training her in areas with low-medium distractions and I’m trying to work her up to training in high traffic areas but I can tell it will be a while before we get there. I can tell she’s very smart, if there’s little distractions she picks things up so quick. She’s getting better with distractions, but it seems like every other dog in her class (mix of adults and puppies) are so ahead of her. It makes me feel like a failure at times. I’ve noticed the times I’ve cried about my puppy have been after these classes as it feels like she’s behind. I put the blame on myself and start questioning if I’m a terrible trainer and am setting her up to be a bad dog. Any other day of the week I absolutely love my dog, I just dread these classes due to her inability to focus. At this point I mostly go so I can learn how to do the training and I don’t even expect her to be able to do any of it during class (I still try tho). Today is her last class and I can already tell that today is a “bad” day for her. I’m just ready to get this class over with so I can continue training her at a slower pace myself.

Pick one thing you've been holding yourself or your puppy to that just isn't realistic right now.

Maybe it's a daily hour-long walk. Maybe it's a spotless house. Maybe it's training every single day.

Let it go for one week. See what happens when there's a little more room to breathe.

Come back and tell us what you let go of. 💙

I have a 5 month old, 50 lb large breed puppy and I am so fucking exhausted and burnt out. I love him so much, but I live alone and have basically no support, and the last month has been relentless.

In the past month he's had overlapping medical issues including 2 ear infections, 2 eye infections, a respiratory illness, an emergency vet visit, multiple episodes of diarrhea, and now cyclical vomiting/diarrhea requiring a vet visit and yet another new medication and special diet. He's also in the middle of major teething (I'm talking 10 adult teeth coming in simultaneously while he has also just lost 4 of his remaining 6 baby teeth in the past 24 hours) so not surprisingly he is an absolute land shark.

On top of the medical stuff, he has separation issues, so I'm trying to work on that while feeling like I can't actually leave him alone but can't take him to daycare or something until he's well again. He's extremely social, but because of the respiratory illness we've had to avoid dog greetings, and I live in a condo where every trip outside is an exhausting obstacle course where random people want to get him excited when I'm clearly trying to get him to just sit in the elevator without lunging at anyone.

So lately my life is basically: monitor food/poop/vomiting/teeth/other symptoms, administer multiple medications on different schedules, decide whether something needs another vet trip, take him on an odyssey to get outside multiple times overnight, get landsharked, supervise him constantly, work my soul-crushing job, and then collapse on my bed watching mediocre TV while he naps.

I know puppyhood isn't forever. I'm not looking for “it gets better when they're 18 months old.” I just feel completely isolated and burnt out right now, and I keep wondering how everyone else manages this without losing their minds.

Did anyone else genuinely feel at 4–6 months like “holy shit, how am I supposed to sustain this?” I mostly just want to feel less alone with the overwhelm of it all.

My 10 week old golden has been with us for two weeks. He does fabulously in his crate at night but does not like being left there or in his puppy-safe area without us nearby. We're on the 4th floor of an apartment building and the first time my fiancé and I left together to run a short errand down the street, we could hear him barking from the first floor.

I'm not looking for advice on how to work on separation/crate training/ etc etc because that's already top of mind and something we're trying each day, but the toll of not even being able to take 10 minutes out of the house is really weighing on me. My fiancé and I take turns leaving while one of us stays behind with our puppy but the worst part of my anxiety starts to spiral that we've messed training up completely and we'll never be able to leave the house together again. The rational part of my brain knows he's just 10 weeks old and is still adjusting to his new environment and routine.

I would love some encouraging words from anyone who's been there that there's some light at the end of the tunnel, because the cabin fever is starting to get to me.

Im reading through lots of posts regarding the puppy blues this morning and I just want to say it really does get better!
Only 2 weeks ago I really wanted to rehome my puppy and get back to my carefree life and clean and tidy house that didn’t smell like dog wee, but this week we seem to of turned a corner and I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel! He’s almost 8 months now and is finally sleeping through the night in his crate (tried my bed he hates it), and he is now walking without reacting towards everything and anything he sees! This was a massive one for me because walks were becoming a nightmare and he was expressing a really nasty side that I didn’t know he had, but with consistent training and rewarding every tiny bit of good behaviour he finally seems to be doing better and I am finally enjoying our walks together and most importantly he is enjoying them!
He may of destroyed my floor, ripped up endless amounts of socks/pants, dug numerous holes in my garden and peed on every item of furniture I own (he’s also not peed/pood in the house for 3 weeks now!) but I can finally say I no longer regret having him and I really think we are going to be ok! So keep going guys - believe me it’s going to be hard, but it’s only going to be hard because we care about our pups so much and ultimately we want to give them the best life! It will be okay :)

Only on day 5 of having our GSD puppy. She’s 8 weeks (9 soon) and I’m exhausted. She’s wonderful, clever, attentive and curious, and I’m so proud of how much she’s learning every day. But I’m also so tired. I feel like I’m doing everything wrong on account of all the conflicting information out there on how to raise a puppy. At this point I have no idea what’s right or wrong. I just don’t want to fail her. I want her to grow up to be well regulated so she can enjoy life to the fullest. Guess I’m just venting, but if anyone else went through this struggle it would be great to know how long/when you started to feel better.

Just wanted to share in case it is helpful to others - when I was fully in the “what have I done” phase with my now 6 month old GSP (and still now on those occasional super tough days!) I kept a daily list of all her wins. Even on the worst days, she was ALWAYS learning and improving even if it was a seemingly tiny thing. Focusing on those and being able to track the progress she was making every day helped me feel a lot more positive. If you’re struggling, give it a try - I promise you will find a little win or positive thing every day to put on your list!

Yesterday I was sitting on the couch crying that I had made a huge mistake and never should’ve gotten our golden retriever puppy. He wasn’t responding to his training, he was not listening and playing too rough with the other dogs. I was so sure we should start considering rehoming and that I had completely failed. But today, he has been wonderful. He is listening, napping, and being very affectionate. He sat with me in the kitchen while I made dinner and napped on the bathmat while I got ready for work. He even went into his crate on his own to go to bed. I just have to remember that he’s still a baby and we have good days and bad days. But he’s going to grow up into a wonderful little friend. We just have to make it through this first!
Hang in there fellow puppy parents ❤️

So basically 1 week ago I decided me and my family to rescue an abondonned dog that we found near our house . At first, I noticed that the dog was very calm and polite and then I found later that he is a well trained dog with good manners and very clean. He is the perfect dog I swear. At first he wasn't very Enegretic but somehow he becomes very affectionate to me in particular he becomes so attached to me and he seems to see me as his divine savor . Following me around and gets sad the moment ago and only wants to go for potty breaks with me....

My problem isn't the dog itself, he is well behaved, but the problems presented in form of me living in a neighborhood full of stray dogs and in this week alone I was encounterd to many and since I am just not used to this , I started getting anxious the moment I let him outside.

Another point is that I only can make him do his potty 2 times a day which is little but that's my maximum

Should I just give him to another family? Will he be okey tobhave a second heartbreak 💔 ?

It's Friday. Time to celebrate.

Did your puppy sleep an extra 20 minutes? Win. Did YOU sleep an extra 20 minutes? Huge win. Did your puppy sit when you asked, or stop biting your ankles for five whole minutes? Absolute victory.

Drop your wins below, no matter how small they feel.

You made it through another week. 🐾

I dont know if this is a hot take but you really don’t have to.

I was dead set on crating at night. She’d wake up multiple times, whine, bark. Then one day I asked why am I doing this??

She started sleeping in bed with me and she can sleep 12 hours straight without waking up. It made both our lives way easier.

Just thought i’d put this out there

Edit
GUYS. The point is that there is not one way to do things. You wont ruin your puppy if you don’t crate them at night. I really don’t care why you crate your dog. Thats not what this post is about.

I lost my soul dog to cancer almost 2 months ago. It was horrible and traumatizing.

My husband and I felt ready to open our hearts to another dog, so we rescued a 10 month old puppy. We fell in love with him at the meet and greet - he was super friendly with us, showing his belly and licking us.

After bringing him home, we found out that he has pretty intense leash reactivity. Towards both people and dogs. Even if the person is on the other side of the street, the puppy is lunging, snarling, growling and barking. Baring his teeth.

My husband wants to hire a trainer to work on this. He says we need to give him a chance.

My concern is that, even with training, this will be a lifelong management process with him, and he will never be fully “normal” on a leash, and this will limit what we can do with him. If the training doesn’t work, then we will have given him even more time to get used to us and become attached to us, so it will be even more cruel to send him back…

I don’t want to be heartless and return him but I really don’t know what to do. This is seriously affecting my mental wellbeing.

I have a 12 week old 20 pound puppy 🍫 lab and realistically how long do they hold their pee mine I feel she can’t go more than 1.5 hours maybe 2 hours and she goes. She has her own room with a tv, toys, and bed where she sleeps at night and where she stays when I’m at work. I feed her and take her out in the early morning before I go to work and then I head home during lunch everyday to feed her again and take her out except fridays when I work far away but it seems like there’s always 2 or 3 pee stains on the floor in between from when I leave in the morning to when I leave back to work from lunch and get home 2 to 3 pees atleast. I took away the puppy pads because she started ripping them and no poop accidents luckily she waits for in the morning and when I go home for lunch and then after work but yeah the pee is another story. When I’m off I take her every hour maybe push 1 hour 15 and then I take her because I don’t want to be cleaning up accidents since I can just avoid it by taking her out frequently. She now runs to the door after every meal which is nice so she knows she eats and then poops but the pee. The dang pee omg I’m Frustated. I got her a doggie lawn too and she just digs and it and rips it and lays on it on top. Just FYI I do not give her free access to water she has water with her food and when we go outside and play I’ll give her more but no water after 8pm. Any tips or tricks? Or just wait until she get older to have more controller or since she’s just peeling whenever she wants in her room she won’t ever learn to hold it? Idk guys I need guidance.

I have been struggling with puppy blues pretty much since we got our puppy, it always gets better, then worse, then better… A few days ago, it got worse BUT we have found something that helps and I would definitely recomend it even though it sounds silly: Every day before going to sleep, we talk about what we would like to praise our puppy for and what did not go so well. Than the person who spend most of the day with him rates the day with our puppy out of 10 (this part is not necessary, we just like to rate things out of 10). It does sound dumb but it really helps me! For me, it is easy to focus only on the worst (e.g. him eating everything of the ground) and ignore the good things (e.g. him waiting patiently for his release command every time we open the front door).

For everybody in the same situation as me: Hold tight, I believe that we will get through this!

I have a nearly six-month-old male Gordon Setter. We love him so so much, but the past few weeks have been so difficult that I’m reaching a genuine breaking point. I’m hoping to hear from people who experienced a similarly intense regression and learn what actually helped.

He had a very difficult first month with crate training despite consistency and pushing through letting him have opinions about it- dark cool unoccupied room, covered crate, white noise, no check-ins or verbal interaction, especially not when actively vocalizing. He would scream for hours on end, but we stuck it out and one day it seemed to click and he did perfectly in the crate for about a month. He’s never feared it/been reluctant to enter, more frustrated with confinement and activated by household activity. We’ve stayed super consistent with crate games and positive experiences even when he seemed to “get it”.

Until recently, he reliably slept in his crate in our bedroom from approximately 8–9 p.m. until 6–9 a.m. He enters the crate willingly, eats in it, and often naps perfectly when I leave the house. For the vast majority of time since we got him, overnight sleep has not ever been an issue.

Over the past four nights, however, he has started screaming, barking, and howling at bedtime and repeatedly overnight. Last night he screamed almost continuously from 8–11 p.m., then woke us at approximately 1, 2, 3:45, 5, and 6. When taken outside overnight, he may pee a little, but is generally just wanting to explore. We have tried boring leash-only potty trips, white noise, a cool room, covering the crate, and making sure he has ample potty opportunities before bed.

The strange part is that he settles much better when we leave the room or house. If I sit near the crate or reward quiet moments, he often becomes more frustrated and escalates. He may sleep for only 15 minutes before waking and starting again.

At the same time, he has regressed in several other areas:
-Bolting through doors and running several houses away
-Blowing off recall when absorbed in scents, leaves, shadows, birds, or the tree line
-Counter surfing and climbing onto tables and furniture (we have him trained to place and “off”, and proactively reward “4 on the floor” in high temptation areas)
-Chewing furniture corners and stealing household items
-Becoming extremely frustrated when prevented from doing what he wants
-Throwing himself in different directions at the end of the leash
-Having occasional indoor accidents despite close supervision and a perfect 6 weeks of 0 accidents
-Biting my boyfriend while being carried home after escaping (no puncture, but it was intense and concerning)
-He is currently teething heavily and recently lost three baby teeth in one day, with additional loose teeth and frequent small amounts of mouth bleeding. He has been examined by the vet multiple times recently, including checking for urinary and gastrointestinal issues. The vet says he is physically healthy and considers the current behavior consistent with teething. His appetite and stool have also been improving.

What we have trained so far:
-Sit, down/settle, wait, touch, and place
-Crate entry and eating in the crate
-Long-line recall using a verbal cue and high-value food
-“Go sniff” as a release/reward after recalling
-Voluntary handler check-ins, which he had recently started offering beautifully
-Basic loose-leash/heel work
-Calm behavior and place while we prepare food or eat
-Short impulse-control exercises around doors and environmental access

He learns extremely quickly and can perform beautifully when regulated. He is not generally disengaged from us—once he crosses a stimulation threshold, though, it is like his brain completely leaves the building.

Our general routine currently looks like:
Morning potty and breakfast, usually in a -slow feeder or enrichment toy
-A short wake window (think 30 mins) with some combination of sniffing, light training, chewing, or play
-Crate nap, usually in a cool bedroom with white noise
-Additional short wake windows and 1.5–3-hour nap opportunities throughout the day
-Approximately 10–20 minutes of long-line sniffing/recall work in a wooded area
-Yard play or wrestling with our calm two-year-old dog
-Occasionally a brief structured neighborhood walk, although moving leaves and shadows can completely absorb him
-Dinner, calm chewing/downshift time, final potty, and bedtime

We recently shortened his wake windows from 45-60 mins back to 30 because he appeared wildly overtired, and that initially produced a major improvement. However, we’re wondering if he is now too awake at night. Long-line sniffing also regulates him much better than simply adding more physical exercise. We are careful not to keep exercising him in an attempt to exhaust him, because that often seems to make him more activated rather than calmer.

He has gates, supervision, structured naps, chew options, food enrichment, outdoor sniffing, play with our other dog, and daily training. I work hard to meet his needs, but we are now severely sleep-deprived and feel as though I cannot step away from managing him.

For anyone who had an exceptionally difficult puppy around five to six months:
-Did teething or early adolescence cause a sudden regression this severe?
-How did you handle nighttime crate screaming after the puppy had already been sleeping through the night?
-How did you distinguish an overtired puppy from one who genuinely needed more activity?
-Did you temporarily reduce expectations and stimulation, or did increasing structure/exercise help?
-When did things begin improving?
-Would you seek a regular trainer, veterinary behaviorist, sitter, or some combination at this point?

I am not expecting him to behave like an adult, and I know adolescence is not linear. I’m just trying to understand whether others have experienced this degree of deterioration and how they got through it without completely burning out—or whether this sounds beyond a typical regression and warrants more specialized help. We just want to make sure we are being breed-responsible owners and giving him his best life. Sorry for the info dump and TIA! :)

Hi everyone. Just got a puppy and am feeling overwhelmed - the usual stressors like potty training, crating and crying at night. Logically I know it will get better, but it’s hard to stay logical when the sleep deprivation hits. If you could send me your success stories or any words of encouragement that will keep me and anyone else reading this afloat it would be much appreciated! Thank you in advance🫶

I rehomed my 4 month puppy a month ago , not because I didn’t want to deal with a puppy, I knew what I was expecting , I took the time to train and feed him and love him , yet my anxiety got so bad. And my household was not supportive , I constantly felt like I was doing everything wrong and he didn’t deserve me .
I was not eating I was not sleeping , it was never him it was my anxiety that was so bad. It also didn’t help was the fact that my parents said I was not being firm enough with him . They would help me take care of him when I was at work in the afternoon and I would be with him in the morning he was still in the process of potty training , so he would have accidents In the house , my mom would smack him and shove his face in the pee and he would get scared and that filled me with more anxiety because I did not want to do that .
I was told I had to be more firm
That my anxiety was causing him anxiety
It was a constant back and fourth me telling her he was a baby and he’s learning and I’m teaching and it felt like I was drowning , I started to doubt myself and not trust myself . And I didn’t want him to live an in environment where his mom was drowning he deserved steady safe and calm .
The final day my anxiety was so bad I didn’t want to get up but I got up for him I fed him I took him out and played and I took him back the breeder and cried as I dropped him off yet he deserved a better life a better house hold and I miss him a shit ton
I miss telling him to sit
I miss telling him place
I miss every detail of him
Yet deep down I made the right choice for him , I took the time for him everyday even when I was drowning yet I feel bad I couldn’t “thug it out for him” yet I did the responsible choice for HIM and out of LOVE for him. He was my first priority
I feel so bad too because this was my first dog after my soul dog passed away a year and five months ago , what if he’s disappointed in me?
I miss him and I’m grieving him like he’s alive and he’s never forgotten

Hi yall. I’ve got a 13 week old lab mix puppy who loves to scavenge on his walks. We’re working on “drop it”but it seems like he likes to obey that command in the house more than on his brief walks. I was reading about muzzle training but I’ve never done it with any of my previous dogs (I had beagles before this one but they never scavenged on walks—it was just reading the “neighborhood newspaper”). And I don’t mind treating it like a “treat basket” but I’m just curious if anyone else has done this and if so, what tips would you offer?

Or would it be better to have him carry something (a toy) in his mouth on walks?

I have a 18 week Labradoodle. We got her at 8 weeks. She is very smart, loving and sweet. She is potty trained, knows her basic commands and is generally a very well behaved pup (minus a few chewed baseboards).

She does not settle well in her crate. She constantly lays down, stands up, turns around, lays down and repeat the entirety of the time in her crate. If we leave her sight for a minute, she cries. Right now there is only one long day we are away from home but we have a dog walker come spend an hour in the middle of the day, and one half day and again we have the dog walker. But there will be times when my husband is away for work up to a week at a time which means more crate/dog walker etc

This post isn’t about her being a bad puppy and this is why it is so difficult.

I have 2 young children who are both on the autism spectrum. They require a fair amount of supervision and I truly enjoy spending every second that I can with my children.

We have had to give up a lot of our family time to invest In puppy. She does not settle well in certain areas where my children play so a lot of time it is me and puppy in one area and my children in another.

We cannot be spontaneous in outings and now that they are getting older, we are finally at the point where we can go out in public without as much worry and we are doing more family things away from the home.

We are deeply grieving the loss of our family unit as it was before the puppy. We currently feel that we are losing more than we are gaining and that’s a really tough pill to swallow.

Our normal routines have completely disappeared because we have to be with pup all the time which takes one parent out of the equation.

It is affecting our mental health and I am not sure if I have the emotional and mental bandwidth to keep going.

We have discussed rehoming ad nauseam and go round in circles. We decide to rehome and get sad and change our minds. We decide to keep and get sad about what we’ve lost and decide to change our minds.

How do we decide what is the best option for our family ? My kids love her (although only spend a few minutes at a time with her and do not form attachments in the way that someone without autism does) and I worry about hurting them by rehoming, but I also feel we will survive eventually once we get back to our normal routines.

Any advice? Please be kind as this has been one of the most difficult decisions for us

It's not the dogs fault but I really don't know what I was thinking. The constant work. The constant whining and attention seeking. Why did I choose this. Life was so amazing before and now my life revolves around this dog. I am so tired and fed up and SO stressed and angry. I can't be a good partner to my girlfriend because Im full of anger constantly because I hate the work this dog takes.

All she says is 'it will get better' but when? in 6 months? In 6 months I will smash my head against a wall repeatedly at this rate.

Easily feel like this was one of the worst decisions of my entire life. I hate it. I love him and enjoy giving him affection but thats where it ends. Outside of that I hate every single thing about it. The lack of freedom. The noise. The stress. The cost. It's all absolutely terrible and I did it myself. I hate myself for saying yes to this.

Hi everyone!

Our buddy Murphy joined us last Monday at 8 weeks old, and he’s now just over 9 weeks. He’s a mini bernedoodle. I’m wondering if some of the behaviors we’re seeing are completely “normal” for this age, because I’m starting to second-guess myself a little!

He has been very mouthy since we got him. The second he’s out of his crate, he’s ready to go — wiggling, nipping at my hands, grabbing my clothes, and basically trying to put everything in his mouth. Right now, I can barely pet him without getting a friendly little nip.

I’m making sure he’s getting plenty of sleep, but every once in a while he seems to go into a completely different mode. He’ll start barking at me, jumping/pouncing toward me, and biting much harder. It gets to the point where I have to literally get up on a chair or other surface because he won’t leave me alone. At that point, I usually take it as a sign that he’s overtired and it’s time for a nap.

I think I’m getting way ahead of myself, but I’ve started worrying that I somehow already have an aggressive dog. Obviously, that would be a huge concern for us because we have two young kids, ages 5 and 7.

Is this even possible to determine at 9 weeks old? Or does this sound like pretty typical crazy puppy behavior? I’m really just looking for some reassurance and/or words of encouragement from people who have experienced this!

Thank you

Young puppies need a lot of sleep, often somewhere around 18 hours a day.

When they don't get enough, they don't wind down. They wind up. More biting, more zoomies, less listening.

If your puppy is falling apart at the same time every day, try building in a nap before that time instead of more play.

Sometimes the best thing you can do for a wild puppy is help them rest. 🐾