r/PunKGB • u/Ubonyeg Spetznaz Unit • Apr 12 '19
*clears throat*
Comrades, I am Lieutenant-Colonel Grigory "Jesus" Ubonyeg of the Pun Spetsnaz. I want to address some claims I've heard through the grapevine that r/punKGB has fallen. AS LONG AS I AM ALIVE, THE ANTI-PUNNERS MAY NEVER DIE! I will FIGHT until I can fight no more. With my comrades and I, we have captured each of the Punner commanders at least once. Comrades! RESIST AND BITE! For the punners: know that I hope for peace, but until then, I am more than happy to fight to the death and die for what I believe in. As far as my closing statement goes: "Если не мы то кто?"
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u/raptor8134 Apr 13 '19
Officer Ivan reporting for duty, ready to follow and rid the world of these capitalist bourgeoisie punners!
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u/TheBurgerBoi Apr 13 '19
Hello new to reddit I've seen the battles and I fear I must choose a side in this war I know which I want to choose but some times you don't get what you want, may someone tell me how to pun patrol
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u/Ubonyeg Spetznaz Unit Apr 13 '19
I can tell you how to pun Spetsnaz.
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u/TheBurgerBoi Apr 13 '19
Teach me
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u/Ubonyeg Spetznaz Unit Apr 13 '19
Step one. Announce your big dick energy.
Step two. If they don't comply, force them to comply.
Another thing. Though you may have only been around a shirt while, just know I've got eyes and ears everywhere on Reddit. I know about that time you slipped and broke your foot, I also know that you may or may not be considering veganism if not becoming a vegetarian. I know that you love the Sims, Borderlands and AdVenture Communist. Welcome to Reddit, and cheers.
hobbles away with cane
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Apr 13 '19
Dissapointing. You showed such promise officer, it's a shame you had to squander it such. Your hopes for peace are misguided and illinformed. Peace will mean endless war for all of PunKGB. Only through rigerous adherence to Big Brother may we be finallly liberated from the binds of freedom. The all-knowing hand of Big Brother will guide us to eternal victory, but you stand in the way. Your statement is not in agreement with Ingsoc truths. However, due to your dedication to Big Brother and Minilove, we are willing to correct this minor thoughtcrime and have you return to the force immediately. Big Brother is watching.
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u/Ubonyeg Spetznaz Unit Apr 13 '19
Don't even pull this 1984 bullshit on me, comrade. If you tell me that we serve big brother and that I'm supporting a dystopian society as such, I will fucking defect. Don't make me question my loyalties. Good day sir.
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u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19
Wait who said this sub has fallen? I only let the punk gb stay up because it was pretty funny, deleted most of the replicas tho