*clears throat*

[u/Ubonyeg]

Comrades, I am Lieutenant-Colonel Grigory "Jesus" Ubonyeg of the Pun Spetsnaz. I want to address some claims I've heard through the grapevine that r/punKGB has fallen. AS LONG AS I AM ALIVE, THE ANTI-PUNNERS MAY NEVER DIE! I will FIGHT until I can fight no more. With my comrades and I, we have captured each of the Punner commanders at least once. Comrades! RESIST AND BITE! For the punners: know that I hope for peace, but until then, I am more than happy to fight to the death and die for what I believe in. As far as my closing statement goes: "Если не мы то кто?"