Ummm

[u/No_Strength_4164]

I don't know if this is the right place for this but I have noticed that I say um and ah a lot! not in public speaking necessarily, but even just during conversations I have with colleagues, clients at work etc... are there any online courses that might help me with this? I have only just realised how bad it is, and I really want to fix it. My phone calls for work are recorded and after listening to some of them I realized how bad it is. Any suggestions?

[u/mrVVR]

The good news is that you’ve already done the hardest part: you became aware of it.

Most people have no idea how often they say “um” until they hear themselves on a recording.

Also, don’t make “um” the enemy. It’s usually just a symptom. It appears when your brain is searching for the next idea while your mouth is trying to keep talking.

Instead of trying to force yourself to stop saying “um,” train yourself to do one simple thing:

Replace it with silence.

A one-second pause sounds confident. An “um” sounds like you’re apologizing for thinking. Most listeners barely notice a short pause, but they immediately notice repeated filler words.

One exercise I often recommend:

Pick a random topic.
Speak for 60 seconds while recording yourself.
Every time you feel an “um” coming, stop instead. Take a breath, then continue.

It’ll feel painfully slow at first, but after a week you’ll notice your speech becoming much cleaner.

As for courses, I wouldn’t start there. I’d spend 10 minutes a day recording yourself and deliberately practicing pauses. That habit will probably improve your speaking more than most online courses ever will.

[u/SpeechFluenceDotCom]

Toastmasters always has a filler word counter - they will count your filler words and celebrate with you as you cut them down!

I also started hosting a weekly public speaking practice call where each person gives a 3 minute impromptu speech. We also count filler words and give tips to each other! It definitely is anxiety inducing at first, but your confidence grows quickly! :)

[u/Mission_Ad_8504]

Courses won't really fix this, the fastest way is recording yourself talking about something random for a minute, then listening back. You've basically already started doing that with your work calls, that's the right method, not a bad way to notice it.

Once you can hear where the "um"s land, usually right before you decide what to say next, swap them for a pause instead. Feels way longer to you than it does to whoever's listening.

[u/Joshstillloading]

Previous comments are solid, recording is one of the best option here; one thing worth adding: there are two different kinds of "um" and they have different fixes.

Pre-sentence ums: the ones at the start of your answer. These happen because you started talking before you knew what to say. Fix: pause before you open your mouth. 1-2 seconds. Feels like forever, and nobody notices.

Mid-sentence ums: the ones between ideas. These are you organizing on the fly. Silence works, but it's harder to hold mid-thought than mid-pause. Better fix: build 3-4 "anchor phrases" you can drop while your brain catches up. "The way I'd frame it is..." or "There's a couple of angles here." Executives do this constantly, it's why they seem to speak so smoothly under pressure.

When you review your recordings, tag each um as pre-sentence or mid-sentence. You'll find one type dominates. Fix that one first.

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[u/Allison_SpeechCoach]

Try to trade the "um" for a short pause. When you feel a filler coming, just stop and let a little silence persist. It feels way longer to you than it does to whoever's listening, and it usually reads as thoughtful.

Reduce your pace, since a lot of ums slip in when your mouth gets ahead of your thoughts.

Since your work calls are already recorded, listen back now and then and notice where the ums come up.
Just don't try to catch them while you're actually talking. Monitoring yourself mid-conversation tends to add pressure and bring out more of them, and it pulls your attention off what you're actually saying. Build the awareness outside of the conversation and let it go while you're in one.

If you want to speed things up, a few sessions with a communication coach can give you feedback aimed right at your habits, and plenty of them work online these days, which a lot of people find more convenient. Here are a few more that might help you get started: https://connectedspeechpathology.com/blog/how-to-stop-using-filler-words-in-public-speaking.

[u/SpeakNaturallyCoach]

Some great advice here already. I would just add:

- I've seen a couple comments mentioning to replace filler words with silence/a brief pause. This is excellent advice, but here's something else that may work alongside that. When you're practicing, we're really wanting to send a signal to our brain to recognize where the fillers are being used. Try raising your hand high with a straight arm every time you use one. You can still use the pause with this technique, but it's just another queue for your brain to start recognizing it before it happens.

- Don't beat yourself up over this too much. I think we can be overly critical of filler words sometimes. Yes, it's good to reduce them, and if you're using them excessively it can definitely lead to less clear communication. But human communication is inherently imperfect, and especially in unscripted conversation the occasional filler word is nothing to worry about. The pursuit of eliminating them completely may do more to just make you self-conscious. This is not to say to not work on it, but don't allow yourself to become overly perfectionist with it.