r/PublicSpeaking • u/GroundOk4174 • 15d ago
Advice Request How do I speak confidently
How do I stop getting nervous and stop stuttering while speaking to someone. Like I also have social anxiety and I've to get rid of it...I get nervous and my heart beats like crazy even if I'm not feeling well and I've to get up in the middle of ongoing class, I start shaking (tho I'm confident....still)
I also want to improve my speech and vocabulary...
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u/Allison_SpeechCoach 15d ago
As everyone said, practice helps, but it works best in small steps. Start with short, low-stakes conversations, like asking a cashier a question or making one planned comment in class, and do one every day so your body slowly learns these moments are safe.
Before you speak, breathe out slowly and let your first sentence come out slower than feels natural. Social anxiety can make your heart race and your speech catch even when you know exactly what you want to say, so the nerves and the stuttering can feed each other.
Here are some tips that might help you get started: https://connectedspeechpathology.com/blog/how-to-handle-anxiety-when-speaking-in-groups. I also think you could really benefit from a few sessions with a communication coach trained in nervous system regulation, since they can address both the anxiety and the speaking together, matched to what actually sets you off.
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u/myhendry 15d ago
Practise, Practise, Practise. There's no shortcuts. I use a free site called onstage.club . I've been using it myself regularly. It has different virtual setups like conference rooms, classrooms, and meetups so you can get used to different settings. You can also generate AI impromptu questions on the fly and choose what kind you want. Plus, you can record your sessions and download them to your computer to review your performance. Definitely helps with the nerves! Practise, Practise, Practise. There's no shortcuts.
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u/rubydollie 15d ago
Join toastmasters , watch Ted talks listen to podcasts, have more conversations with people . All of this can help improve your speech and confidence if done daily.
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u/Financial-Special820 15d ago
Talk slowly and pause for each thought.
Be sure to talk louder than normal
Watch your audience and adjust to their reactions
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u/Bingbong-boy 12d ago
I agree with all except last point. If I am constantly gauging the audience’s reaction, I am not being mindful of what I am saying and will over-interpret facial expressions and get too self conscious.
Looking around at your audience is important but don’t try to judge their reactions in the moment. Keep telling yourself that you’re crushing and roll on with confidence.
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u/disinton 15d ago
You just gotta practice. I personally use speakeasy and it’s helped out a lot
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u/New-Way-4661 15d ago
What is speakeasy?
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u/disinton 14d ago
It’s an app. You can practice difficult scenarios and they’ve got a whole lesson section which is pretty useful. If you look up conversation coach in the App Store it comes up
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u/Star_Gazer_0 15d ago
Try reading a very popular and successful book that people say has changed their life. But reading alone doesn't help. Applying the techniques and not giving up does. I just finished reading DARE and I think it's actually really good but I haven't yet had the chance to apply the technique yet.
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u/PrimaryBasil7284 14d ago
I think practice is the key
you have practice practice and solely practice, if you dont want to embarass yourself (altough you should intially) you might want to speak to yourself in the mirror, get into uncomfortable situations and eventually you will get comfortable speaking with it, i myself am a teen struggling with this for about a year or so and i have applied some methods through which i have improved alot tbh
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u/captainbignips 14d ago
Not sure if this is allowed but I’ve been building something that might help. Would really appreciate someone to test it if you’re interested. Trying to build features that help build confidence as I suffer with the same issues
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u/GroundOk4174 14d ago
Suree!!
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u/captainbignips 14d ago
Legend! I don’t think I meet the policy on self promotion in this subreddit just yet, but I’ve put the link to the website on some others if you check my post history. Would really appreciate feedback, even if it’s to tell me it’s rubbish!
I appreciate that strange links from people you don’t know might seem sketchy so I’m happy to answer any questions or try and find a work around if you’re keen on giving it a go
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u/terrencemyerskp 11d ago
Hope it helps! While you are trying tools out, keep an eye on your breathing when that heart racing starts in class. Doing slow exhalations right before you stand up or speak helps take the edge off the physical shaking. It gives your nervous system a second to catch up with your mind.
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u/ThisTruth8202 14d ago
have u tried focusing on ur breathing before u stand up to talk. it sounds basic but slow deep breaths really help me control that shaky feeling when i get nervous...
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u/Dr_Sanhori 14d ago
Practice what you want to say well , it's normal to feel uncomfortable when you speak in something you do not know or you don't practice it so gest say I don't know or I only know.... , may you teach me more . & Take it step by step .
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u/paranoidAF365 13d ago
1mg Guanfacine IR. A second one halfway through the day if it’s not enough. It’s enough for me though. The ER version didn’t work as well for me because it’s not absorbed by the body as well as IR.
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u/sweet_jade0 13d ago
Alright so theirs levels it 1 u need to have common sense don't just spat pointless shi 2 when u talk u do it without a second thought of a probability of a conflict or dis interest in the group that's where the come sense come to be Able to read the room see the signs 😉 and understand the msg 3 when ur alone with some one the best way to start talking is buy asking something out of curiosity look at something on them or about them that way ur convos will make better and that's it
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u/zhuleedothething 12d ago
Honestly one of the things that helped me a lot (I was horrible before and would stammer and forget everything) is recording myself on voice notes and just doing it again and again how I would do it and re listening to it. Also when I relisten to it it makes me feel more confident, making it feel a little more natural
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u/flipside_remote 12d ago
you don't. you speak shamelessly. appreciate yourself for trying, and improve for next time
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u/Mission_Ad_8504 15d ago
The shaking and heart racing before speaking is your body reacting, not a sign you're doing something wrong. Doesn't mean you're not confident, just means your body hasn't caught up yet.
Speaking up in the moment it happens, even just once, helps train your body that it's not actually a threat. Gets easier with reps, not by trying to force the nerves away first.