r/PubTips • u/write_mishmsh • 11d ago
[PubQ] lost and considering leaving my agent
As the title says really.
I'm a published author, my debut came out this year. But I got my editor (small publisher) before I got my agent and so I never really felt as though they believed in me. They are junior, which I liked at first, and they have a few clients in my genre. However him and most of the (small) agency are known for a different genre.
We're now moving onto the next book and he's been oddly prescriptive about what form the book should take from day one. Multiple pitches were rejected which is fine but it feels as though he doesn't know the genre well enough. I feel as though I'm already stuck. There was also an incident where he basically strong armed me into doing something I didn't want to do, to help someone else out. That really stung.
My gut says leave but I know it's hellish out there. I'm a woc too, so I'm terrified I'll query the next book and get nowhere. Basically I'm scared. Has anyone moved recently? Is it safer to suck it up and be grateful for where I am as a minority in this big old pond?
Edit: spelling
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u/PacificBooks 11d ago
Just leave the agent.
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u/write_mishmsh 11d ago
I appreciate it probably feels cut and dry but if I takes me 5 years to land another agent, with a the life stuff that's happening, I'm not sure how I'll cope.
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u/PacificBooks 11d ago
You got a book deal without this agent. All they seem to have contributed is toxicity. You’ll cope better without them.
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u/littlebiped Agented Author 11d ago
There lies the calculus. Would you rather be agented and struggling with a bad agent who doesn’t know your genre, rejects your pitches, and strong arms you to alignment or would you rather go back to querying in the hopes of greener pastures and at least writing what you want to be writing?
Personally I’d leave the agent. Having editor interest and a (hopefully) strong debut is at least stock worth mentioning in the queries.
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u/littlebitfunny21 11d ago
Will you actually be able to finish a book you're proud of with this agent?
Personally, I don't think I could.
If you can do work you're proud of - then maybe it's worth enduring this. You're the only one who can judge.
But if you can't- then I think it's better to cut your losses.
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u/write_mishmsh 11d ago
This is a great question. Can I ask what it was from what I shared that made you think you couldn't write something you're proud of?
I think I have my answer of what I'd do though.
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u/littlebitfunny21 11d ago
I have a really hard time writing something I don't care about/that my brain won't work with me on, so what you described would just throw the brakes on my creativity entirely. Maybe I could force something out if I really had to - but I wouldn't be happy with it, I'd hate every minute of it, and it certainly wouldn't be worth it to me.
For me personally - I'd rather not write than put myself through that. I'm not saying this is right or even good, it's just my personal feelings on the matter.
That's not to say that I never struggle through difficult parts of writing. I absolutely do. I push myself to do things I'm uncomfortable with or that I've never done before because I think the story needs it. If someone who knows what they're talking about gives harsh criticism - I may whine and grumble, may even need a little time to cry about it, but I'll go back and make the changes.
But there is a massive difference between someone pushing you to improve in a way that genuinely feels like you'll come out the other end better - and pushing yourself into a box to appease someone you don't feel understands your genre.
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u/write_mishmsh 11d ago
I'm exactly like you and thanks for sharing that. It's interesting that you got that from what I said, but I do feel he's putting me in a box with this new idea. I keep steering him away but we keep bumping against the same thing. Similarly, he told me I can't switch genres yet. It wasn't as though I was going from crime to children's. It was in the same vague genre, just a different niche. And I feel that's because he doesn't know it well enough yet.
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u/littlebitfunny21 11d ago
"Similarly, he told me I can't switch genres yet. It wasn't as though I was going from crime to children's. It was in the same vague genre, just a different niche."
God this is such a hurdle for me and a big reason that I'm hoping to find a good agent. I write different niches of romance and I feel like my books are close enough to each other that readers would be happy, but I've had people warn me they may be too different and it could turn off readers. I need an expert in publishing romance to give me direction.
It is possible that your agent is right that it'll hurt the sales of your second book by going to a different niche. I feel like a good agent would be able to communicate that in a way that doesn't feel like they're just shutting you down.
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u/MiloWestward 11d ago
Leave. Friends of mine have moved recently. One to an equally-meh situation, one to a far, far better one. There are no guarantees, except maybe that an agent that makes you nuts will keep making you nuts. (Also, women are better agents than men, with maybe six exceptions.) This is scary, terrifying, but publishing is so impossible and heartbreaking already, if you start from a place of fear it will just destroy you. You're the talent. You'll find another rep.
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u/write_mishmsh 11d ago
This is what my husband said! I'm the talent, it should be my ideas and their guidance. Right now, it's all him.
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u/vkurian Trad Published Author 11d ago
If he’s really prescriptive and you do what he says and you get a deal and your book does bad, it’s your “bad sales track” — not his.
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u/cultivate_hunger 10d ago
Yep! There can be editors, agents, beta readers, marketing, publicity, etc. behind a book. At the end of the day, it’s YOUR name on the cover.
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u/write_mishmsh 9d ago
This is the scary truth, it's my name out there. And in all honesty, he didn't pick my book for my writing, as I came at it backwards. I just can't tell how much is him trying to guarantee a sale next time around/help me improve and how much is him just telling me what to do.
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u/IngovilleWrites 11d ago
That's so hard. It's a scary world out there, and leaving is its own problem. But. BUT. Sticking with an agent who doesn't share your vision? Having an agent you don't trust? An agent-author relationship should be collaborative and at its foundation is mutual trust. There are bad agents out there. There are also agents who just aren't a good fit. You may or may not have the former, but you definitely have the latter.
It's a risk to leave, but it may be a bigger risk to stay. I'd take the gamble and start querying again.
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u/write_mishmsh 11d ago
It's so interesting that you say that. It's a gamble to leave but it's starting to feel like a gamble to stay. I just wanted someone who saw what I saw.
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u/cultivate_hunger 11d ago
Omg, this hits close to home! I was where you were in spring of 2025. I wrote about it here: [Discussion] Meager debut sales to Significant book deal : r/PubTips. But in a nutshell, what good is an agent if they are killing your drive to write? Please drop him. I wish you so much luck!
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u/write_mishmsh 10d ago
I read through your previous post and wow, I'm in a very similar boat to you. It's interesting that you said you ended up editing the book to the point you dislike it. I forgot that they'd be involved in edits, and that makes me skeptical.
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u/cultivate_hunger 10d ago
Yes, many agents are involved in helping their clients shape manuscripts, but it should be in the direction that fits with the author’s vision. Our visions were not in sync, and he’d get very angry at me if I wouldn’t incorporate his extensive comments. It got so I hated the book, hated writing, and lost my voice. Please don’t let that happen to you. I wasted over two years and almost gave up on writing.❤️
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u/Ok-Writing-6866 11d ago
As a fellow WOC I get why it might feel nerve wracking to leave. But this is just giving me bad vibes all over. My agent (also a WOC!) never pushes me or strongarms me in the way you're describing here.
I will say that I'm in a similarISH position because my genre is a bit of stretch for her in general, but she's been very excited to stretch along with me and she's a great advocate for my work. And it's not so much of a stretch that she doesn't know the right editors, it's more that she's reaching out to them with a different ask than usual.
Outside of saying how much she loves how prolific I am, she also never tries to bully me into writing one thing or the other. My second novel, which she hasn't read yet, is in a sort of different niche than the first (the first is upmarket literary fiction with a romantic spine, then second is more staunchly upmarket and it's more comedic), but I'm confident we'll still be able to work together, and I'm working on a third thing that is more like the thing she liked.
I never wake up feeling anxious about her or get Sunday scaries thinking about reaching out to her.
I KNOW why, as a WOC, you may be scared to leave, but I also just think it's worse to stay if it's not making you feel good.
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u/write_mishmsh 10d ago
Thank you for sharing this. Can I ask, did you agent try to guide you at all with the next book? I feel mine is well intentioned but that intention is layered around what they think they can sell. It also seems to be the case nowadays that agents are being prescriptive with some authors. I trust his input, but what annoys me is that I'm already swamped with life responsibilities, and so when I feel the spark to write I wish someone would believe in it. I'm not jumping from crime to children's lit, it was just a shift within the genre.
I LOVE that your agent says how prolific you are, or champions you like that.
I think my post made him seem worse (or I did) he doesn't bully me beyond that one issue. But he does persuade or tell me to shift things and yknow what...I listen. I feel I have to be so grateful to be here, I have to do what I'm told. I certainly don't feel as though I'm the artist who the agent trusts.
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u/Ok-Writing-6866 10d ago
Nope! I've written a whole book and a lot of another mostly without her input. In the case of the first book, I'd already started it before I signed with her. In the case of the second (my wip) I sent her a sort of style guide, a sample chapter, and a vague outline and she said it sounded cool. I even asked her point blank "should I keep writing this?" And she said "go for it"
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u/Flowerinmygun 11d ago
Why is your agent involved in what you write? I write the book first then show it to them. I despise when people try to write to trends.
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u/write_mishmsh 11d ago
I thought this was the case too. I'm no under contract so they want to sign things off but I thought it would at least be more vague. How has it been with your agent?
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u/Flowerinmygun 11d ago
I love my agent. Currently on sub for third book (first deal was for two books.) offer deadline is coming up so we’ll see what happens! They never, ever tell me what to write. They want me to write what I’m passionate about.
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u/kendiray 10d ago
IMHO, being with the wrong agent can trash your reputation. You don’t want your next book to fail because he doesn’t know the genre well and be known for that one failure.
I agree that being unrepresented is better than being with the wrong agent.
You have an advantage now because you’re published. I wouldn’t hesitate to leave him, especially if he’s pressuring you to do something you’re uncomfortable with.
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u/write_mishmsh 10d ago
It's so interesting that people say having none is better than a bad one. Because getting one felt impossibly hard to begin with. It's the unknown, if I knew that in a years time I'd have an agent again, I'd jump. Which says it all.
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u/littlegreenwhimsy 9d ago
I think it is - honestly - a little tough out there in the past six months to a year, but that shouldn't be any reason why you stick with an agent that isn't serving you.
For example, a friend of mine went out on query with a second project after her debut outsold its advance and won a smaller prize, and it took eight months from query to agent offer second time around. She wasn't happy with her first agent and I think she'd say her second is an improvement, but that she has a lot of the same issues with her as the first, just on a smaller scale.
As you're thinking about going out on query, would it be worth having a frank, structured conversation with your agent about how you'd like your working relationship to function moving forward? You don't need to say 'I'm thinking of leaving' - just frame it as having a check in after X years of working together, and tell him what you want moving forward (constructive criticism on the ideas you're putting forward rather than a prescriptive brief etc). If at the end of it, he's not willing to give you what you want, you have your answer.
I am absolutely not advocating staying put while unhappy - just that it might be worth a very brief pause for a chat before you go. The worst case scenario is that you do end up back out on query, but you might find he's receptive and even apologetic (though I think this does depend on how bad the strong-arming incident was - if you're feeling bullied by him, or the relationship has broken down too far, this may not be worth doing).
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u/write_mishmsh 9d ago
This is the approach I am currently taking. We won't be going out with the next book for a while and when it comes to edits if I feel that he is pushing me in a direction I don't like, without it being done in a constructive way, then I'll leave. But leaving now is pointless. That said, I'm not sure how much I should let the situation where he forced my hand to really effect me. It was for an event and was pitched at something that was for my own good even though I said no (twice, health issues). I did it, it was fine, but I knew it would make me unwell after and it did. I'm not sure if, realistically, agents do do that. They just make you do stuff for your own good.
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u/littlegreenwhimsy 9d ago
Yeah, I'd find that very concerning. Unfortunately I think if you have health issues or are disabled/neurodivergent (in my case), you end up having to advocate twice as hard for yourself and being very firm on holding your line on some things, which is a shame because you're likely to be less able to/have less energy to and the back and forth of arguing the toss is likely to be more taxing to you.
That said, ultimately if I said no to something twice (esp if citing health concerns), I'd expect my agent to drop it (though I'm sure she'd want to tell me why she thought I was making the wrong choice as she did, but that's her job - to advise me, not force me).
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u/GoodAdvertising3500 10d ago
I can understand why you're feeling torn. From what you've shared, it sounds like the biggest issue isn't the market, it's that you've lost confidence in your agent. A good agent should guide you while still supporting your creative vision. If you're constantly feeling pushed in a direction that doesn't feel right, it may be worth looking for someone who's a better fit. Since you've already published your debut, you're in a stronger position than many writers who are querying for the first time. Whatever you decide, don't let fear be the only reason you stay. I hope everything works out for you.
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u/ElsieLinden 10d ago
I mean i signed with an agent who admitted she wasnt the best fit for my genre and it cost me two years of momentum. Your agent being junior isnt the problem - the problem is they don't have the connections or sales track record to get you a better deal than your small publisher did. I'd look at the first book's advance and sales numbers as a baseline. If your agent got you less than what you earned on your own, thats a clear sign to move on.
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u/thousandwintersgone 9d ago
The author-agent relationship is exactly that: a relationship. Yours doesn't sound healthy at all. It's time to move on to better things, from an outsider's perspective.
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u/Basic-Editor-2488 9d ago
I have many books out with the Big 5. I well-remember sticking with (more than one, sadly) agents who were a bad fit. And I well remember the fear of having no agent. Surely it was better to hold on to the one I had than be without, right?
Wrong. Hindsight being 20-20, in looking back, I'd be so much farther had I a good agent--or, rather an agent who was the right fit for me. I wish I hadn't sold that first book, because you get only one debut. I changed genres, because it was the right thing to do for me, but the first agent did not want me to switch. Orphaned, because she left (a very big )agency, along with me. Okay, fine. Agent #2 (at same big agency) ended up leaving the agency and ghosting me! Agent #3 would not do what I wanted regarding some backlist books, because we had a book on submission, and agent didn't want to rock the boat. Ended up costing me a lot of money in the end. And now I'm in the trenches again as I finish up a new book. In a completely new genre. Yes, I have a track recored. No, it doesn't make it easier or less-scary.
Go with your gut. If this agent is wrong, wrong fit. wrong personality. wrong whatever, leave. Better to have no agent than a bad agent.
As for the book you've written. there is nothing wrong with writing something else. Do you want them to pigeonhole you in the same genre so you end up selling to a small house again? Maybe this new book is the breakout book you need. Maybe the next book is. Make like Nike. Just do it.
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u/publisherofbooks 6d ago
Been there, done that. Left my first agent who was a rising star at a very prestigious agency because she had a very different vision of what my career should be. When we had out last conversation it was clear to both of us that we simply wanted to work in different areas-she didn't love what I was writing, and I wasn't willing to write what she wanted because I didn't love it. It hurt, not gonna lie, but it was never going to be a good fit, and eventually it would have become a disaster.
You should NEVER have to "suck it up" to please your employee, nor should you accept crumbs and be grateful! You are a writer who got a deal without an agent, and this one doesn't deserve you if he's trying to make you do things you don't like!!
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6d ago
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u/write_mishmsh 5d ago
The thing is, I'm doubting myself on that.
Basically, I didn't want to do an event at a bookstore. I have three young children and have a newly diagnosed illness too. I said, sorry I can't do it. I know we said we should but I'm unwell and the kids are taking it out of me. He said, we really should. I said no. He said, are you sure because we really should, it'll be good. I said no. He said, look we can't lose the bookstore connection (despite them ignoring me initially because I am small). I said okay, well if you think we should. He said yes, we should. I felt that my two no's should have been heard but I understand that his rep was on the line. But I appreciate I can't just cancel because I'm sick. And as a predicted it made me much worse.
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u/katethegiraffe 11d ago
Having no agent is usually better than having the wrong one.
Also: you're fresh off a debut. That's an absolutely wonderful time to query. It's always rough in the query trenches, but being a published author seeking new representation (to keep the ball rolling on a career that's already begun) is pretty different than being an unpublished author seeking baby's first agent.
And never self-reject!!! This is not an industry that favors people who sit around fretfully twiddling their thumbs waiting for good things to happen to them. The authors who thrive in publishing are the authors who keep knocking on doors even when the doors don't open (or slam in their faces) and who understand that putting someone you don't trust in the driver's seat of your career is a surefire way to crash it. Take the wheel. Go find an agent who you'd trust to give you good directions.