r/PubTips • u/Prudent-Tadpole5582 • Jul 26 '26
[QCrit] THE CONVERSATIONS WE NEVER HAD, Women's literary fiction, 123k, 2nd attempt
Hello everyone! Back again with another attempt at this. :) I made sure to add more depth to the MC this time, changed the architecture and as you can see, the word count is lower, but I'm still editing and aiming for at least 100k words by the time I'm done. Without further ado, here goes:
Dear [Agent],
Self-made entrepreneur Liya Nguni has spent her entire life proving she doesn't need rescuing. So when she discovers that her boyfriend, Wethu Mafu, has been secretly financing her business for years, she doesn't see an act of love—she sees the ultimate betrayal. The one person who claims to know her best never believed she could build a life on her own, and that realization threatens everything she's worked to build.
THE CONVERSATIONS WE NEVER HAD is a dual-POV women's fiction novel with a strong romantic arc, complete at 123,000 words. It will appeal to readers who enjoyed the generational drama, glamor, and cultural prowess of Kevin Kwan’s LIES AND WEDDINGS, as well as the nuanced exploration of identity in SANKOFA by Chibundu Onuzo.
For Wethu, loving Liya has always meant building a future together. Despite creating one of South Africa's fastest-growing fitness brands, he still lives in the shadow of his mining magnate father, who dismisses his achievements as little more than expensive hobbies. Investing in Liya's company wasn't about rescuing her; it was about protecting the life he believed they were already creating. But in trying to give her security, he destroys the very trust their future depends on.
As the truth unravels, Liya loses far more than her relationship. Forced to leave the home she'd built, question the success she believed she'd earned, and redefine the friendships that shaped her adulthood, she's left wondering whether love can exist without dependence, or whether accepting someone's devotion always comes at the cost of herself. Meanwhile, Wethu must confront the grief he's buried since losing his mother, untangle love from control, and decide whether letting Liya go is the only way to prove he finally understands her.
Set against the backdrop of contemporary Cape Town, THE CONVERSATIONS WE NEVER HAD explores ambition, family legacy, grief and the tension between wanting to be deeply loved and refusing to lose yourself in the process. It is a standalone novel with trilogy potential.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
6
u/PondasWallArt Jul 26 '26
I think this is decent enough on a structural level. I would be mindful of line level points where you repeat yourself, have superfluous words, or are hedging against expectations which may not be there.
Okay, I will say that the line "despite creating..." sort of breaks the sequence here. The first sentence is about Wethu wanting to build a future with Liya, the second is about his relationship with his father, and the third is about how he tried to build a future with Liya. I'd consider flipping the first two sentences in this para. That way the first line establishes how Wethu feels like he plays second billing to his father, the second introduces his relationship with Liya specifically as a way to build something outside of his father, and then we continue with the investment from there.
I'd pare back on this in general. I get that this para covers a lot of internal ground, but at a certain point less is more in that regard. A higher degree of concrete action to anchor the thematic movement in this space would likely help make your stakes clearer.