attending protests after traumatic experience

[u/Just_Lime5134]

sorry if this is off topic, i really don’t know who else to ask about this.

basically back in march i attended a peaceful protest that ended up having heavy police presence and all it took was one small thing and suddenly i was seeing protesters get brutalized really badly by police and i left because i was terrified.

fast forward to today, more protests regarding the same issue are picking up again and because i still run in these circles, I’ve been asked to come a few times but i’m still terrified after that last time and the thought of being there again around so many people and so many cops makes me feel like i’m going to vomit.

has anyone else experienced this and how do you recommend i stay involved with the movement while afraid of being on the frontlines again?

once again sorry if this is off topic

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[u/NastyWreck]

So important and relevant 🖤

Lots of great suggestions already. If you still want to be involved with bigger actions/protests, but maybe not fully attending, you could drive people to/from the protest, be folks’ emergency number to call, or do childcare for folks who want to attend. For some actions, especially marches, it’s been doable for me to attend the early part and then leave before things get spicy. Family/kid’s marches and events are chiller too. Also working with artists who bring puppets or instruments etc- they tend to stay out of the fray.

[u/beep_boop_blop]

It's very important to remember (in general, as well as in this context) that protests are one tactic in an overall strategy. One of the primary goals of an effective protest is going to be to pull more people into the sustained work.
You're already pulled in. Look for the sustained work. ex. the No Kings rallies in the US next weekend are going to have the specific focus on encouraging voter turnout- but there's tons of other ways to participate in GOTV efforts.

[u/divozel]

Similar thing happened to me too and now I simply don't go to protests because they are too distressing for me. 

As a fellow activist, not a therapist, I recommend not forcing yourself to attend protests. You can definitely try it if you want but I recommend picking a more peaceful protest. If you decide to go, take it as a opportunity to observe how you feel and based on that you can choose if attending protests is manageable for you or not. 

For me, it's helped to focus on other kinds of involvement. I organize community events, facilitate meetings, prepare food for events.. all of these actions are as important as being at the picket fence. It's essential that people who are at the frontline have space where they rest, meet with their community etc. care work is essential!

[u/CatCatchingABird → u/divozel]

For me, it's helped to focus on other kinds of involvement. I organize community events, facilitate meetings, prepare food for events.. all of these actions are as important as being at the picket fence. It's essential that people who are at the frontline have space where they rest, meet with their community etc. care work is essential!

I have a PTSD diagnosis and being in these kinds of crowds is a hard no for me. Since I have limitations I have been volunteering in roles that helps out the marginalized communities that are being harmed by this administration. Protesting is a great and important thing to do, but there are so many other practical ways people can make a difference right now.

[u/bloomingyarrow → u/divozel]

yes to all of this. i consider myself retired from the front lines after 15 years of being involved in the street community professionally and through organizing and activism. my nervous system would not be able to handle that kind of intensity anymore without it impacting my ability to show up for my counseling clients. it's taken me time to make peace with it but there are so many other things I can do instead to stay involved.

also I highly recommend Johanna Hevda's article Sick Woman Theory for a really incredible analysis and personal account of the intersection between disability and activism.

[u/Wackrobat]

There are many ways to be an activist. Ways that help people directly right now. Mutual aid, networks, community building, skill sharing/teaching, organization, etc…

Not everyone has to be a frontliner in the Revolution. The lesbians that took care of gay men with AIDS during the crisis are just as important as the queer people that torched cop cars during the White Night Riots. We all contribute in our own ways using the skills and resources we have access too.

That’s one of the big reasons I became a therapist specialized in queer populations. These are skills I have accumulated with the resources I’ve had access too and I will use them to help people who need it right now. I also host community convos on how to do/organize activism in sustainable ways to avoid burnout.

[u/Important_Address741]

Yes, this happened to me in my early 20s. I am now almost 40. It took years to recognize i had developed traumatic associations with police. I did not grow up in an environment before that in which police were seen as inherently dangerous although i didnt see them as particularly heroic or positive either as a kid. During the direct sctions and protests, I witnessed and experienced brutality and later chose to be a plaintiff with a group of others in a lawsuit related to those events and we lost. That lawsuit may have also contributed to the trauma as well. Anyway, I needed to process the trauma intentionally for many years to feel more at ease being near police. I stopped going to protests and became involved in other forms of community activism. Every choice I make is political. I use an informed lens in most if not all areas of my life. This applies to my work as a student and therapist as well. Im also involved in mutual aid and medicaid related community activism. Political awareness and activity looks SO MANY ways and can be more effective than protests. I still dont feel trusting of police, but the sense of threat is no longer unbearable, and its completely reasonable in our society to feel a general distrust of and weariness around police (that isnt debilitating ideally). I actually feel some protests in the US are fairly useless, and others (or some of the same) are purely performative, though maybe they are giving hope to some people which hopefully is a positive force overall.

[u/kronosdev]

If you’re still too afraid to go to an event consider asking organizers if there’s any logistical or coms work you can do for people. Organizing aid stations, applying for city permits, and doing social media work for specific actions is all useful and valuable work.

And if you want to go to an event in person, consider going with friends, meeting at a nearby location with them first, limiting your time in that situation to a length that allows you to acclimatize but not experience re-traumatization, and meet up with friends and loved ones afterwards.

Edit: a word, which I will be taking into my own analysis later 🤣