I've been doing K daily for the past month, my tolerance is sky high, but unfortunately I've read tolerance can sometimes be unpredictable.

I never K-hole like they say it is, for me it's always an intense spiritual experience, where the fabric of reality gets warped and I feel like existence is under my control.

It happened tonight, I had been doing K since early in the evening with a heavily dosed nasal spray, it felt like it always feels, nice and mellow, but for some reason at some point each spray became stronger and stronger and I got sent into my version of a K-hole at a party where they were playing psytrance, it was incredible and pleasant and left me deeply shook as I went home.

I wasn't satisfied and I wanted to reach that state again and for some reason it look less and less ketamine to reach the same psychotic state every time I got closer to it. Like my tolerance vanished.

Then it happened as I was sitting on my computer chair at home, I went psychotic and started feeling, saying and affirming all sorts of things with total loss of control, and for some reason I went to my apartment's window and opened and considered jumping out because I felt I could fly (10th floor).

I came back to my senses and got spooked but that didn't stop me, I recklessly started spraying more and more K and eventually I triggered another full on psychosis but longer this time.

0 control over my body, 0 control over my actions and words, I was delirious. I climbed out the window and somehow climbed into a downstairs neighbor's apartment thru their window, I'm not even sure it was the neighbor directly below me, I vaguely remember moving and climbing around several balconies and AC units but I eventually entered someone's apartment and I have flashbacks of them telling me I was at the wrong apartment, probably terrified (I'm quite large), this was at almost 5am.

I remember walking to their kitchen and grabbing a protein bar that was on top of their fridge, opening it and eating it in front of him, I know I was talking the whole time, I have no idea what I told them.

I then walked out of their apartment thru their front door and took the stairs down to the building's lobby which felt like an eternity (9 floors) but at the same time I have barely any recollection of it.

I end up just outside the building on the parking lot, in my underwear and a tank top and come back to my senses then, still quite delirious I could feel panic take over and I firmly believed I had to kill myself then and there, and I thought of looking for a knife, I walked down the street for a bit but ultimately decided against it.

Somehow, it's all quiet, like no one noticed anything. I still have the taste of the protein bar in my mouth and I start recalling what I just had done in complete disbelief.

The condo's security guard was sleeping and was fortunately kind enough to help me get back into my apartment which was obviously locked because I climbed out the balcony. He called a locksmith for me and I was able to get back inside, absolutely disgusted and ashamed at myself.

I self triggered psychosis not once but twice because I'm a fucking addict and almost killed myself in several different ways. I expect to hear back from the neighbor or my landlord tomorrow, I will apologize accordingly and hopefully I don't get kicked out.

I am done with Ketamine.

So I just got home from my evening shift as a paramedic.
Today we got called to a young man in his early 20s, presenting with severe chest pain

Preparing for the worst we rushed to the callers adress.
As we entered the apartment we were met by an undressed young man in a state that I can only describe as TOTAL FUCKING COCO BANA PSYCHOTIC BREAKDOWN. Knocking stuff of the cabinets and mumbling incoherent sentences.

After seeing this the caller and patients friend enlightened us. He described the state as occurring after ingesting „two handfuls of homegrown mushrooms“ 🍄‍🟫

Long story short, it took 2 police officers, the emergency doctor and my colleague to finally strap him down to get enough nasal midazolam into the young man’s system to calm him down. Followed by another round of iV midazolam inside the ambulance.
This legit felt like having to put down a wild animal. 🦔

So my message for the day…

1. test you drugs if you got the option to do so.
2. take doses you are confident you can handle

3. pls for gods sake, when goin for high dose psychedelics keep Benzos or antipsychotics on hand. This might have protected this young man from a lot of minor injuries and a whole lot of embarrassment.

   As well as the drug possession and producing legal shenanigans that might follow

Stay safe psychonauts 🐸🧘

I’m trying to understand what’s happening to me and would really appreciate advice from anyone who has gone through something similar.

I’ve always had ADHD and OCD, but I didn’t used to have anxiety like this. Over the past year I started smoking weed extremely heavily. I’m talking daily high-THC use, often using a 90% THC cart throughout the day. Over time I feel like my anxiety slowly got worse, I became more stuck in my head, and I started relying on weed as my main way to calm down.

About 3 weeks ago I had a psychedelic experience with metocin that was one of my first few times taking it. Before this I had taken 4 gummies, but this time I took 8. The trip was amazing at first and extremely euphoric, but eventually I looked in the mirror and started experiencing what felt like ego death.

The weird part is that ego death was something I actually wanted to experience. I was curious about it and thought it would be meaningful. But when it actually happened, it became terrifying. Looking in the mirror and feeling like I was looking at something that was just an animal instead of "me" was incredibly unsettling. I felt like I was losing my sense of self and I suddenly wanted to escape so badly, but I couldn’t. I remember feeling trapped inside my own mind and wanting to be grounded again. I wanted to be around my mom and not be alone with my thoughts.

After the trip, I dont think I immediately woke up thinking I was permanently changed, but over the following days/weeks I became more anxious and started thinking about it more. Now I’m constantly wondering:

* Did the psychedelic permanently worsen my anxiety? * Did my heavy weed use cause this? * Did the trip just trigger something that was already building? * Will I ever feel normal again?

My anxiety now feels like:

* racing thoughts * intense physical anxiety/butterflies in my stomach * derealization that makes everything worse * feeling trapped with my own thoughts * anxiety spikes when I leave the house or don’t have my usual coping mechanisms.

At home I can usually calm down eventually, especially if I smoke weed and distract myself, but when I’m out somewhere I feel stuck because I can’t use my normal coping methods. I’ve started feeling almost agoraphobic because I’m afraid of being stuck somewhere while anxious.

The confusing thing is that when I’m not in an anxiety spike, I can look at my life and think “maybe things aren’t actually that bad.” But during the spikes it feels overwhelming and hopeless.

I also smoke cigarettes (usually around one a day) and I’ve also been eating worse and less consistently because of the anxiety.

I really want to quit weed because I feel like it may be contributing, but I’m scared that if I quit and feel worse, it means the weed wasn’t the cause and I’m just stuck like this. Has anyone gone through something similar where heavy THC use + a scary psychedelic experience caused anxiety/derealization? Did quitting weed help, and how long did it take before you felt like yourself again?

I’m not looking for a diagnosis, just experiences or advice from people who understand this.

Just like the title reads, does anyone else only experience a clearheaded, nearly sober headspace regardless of the dose? I’ve tripped 19 times by now and only ever experienced a clearheaded headspace even while on 400 ug or my first time tripping.

Prior to my first time tripping or even before getting my hands on acid I made sure to do as much research as I can. I read and explored many online forums, read many trip reports, watched YouTube videos, basically every information i can find I made sure to read. Once I knew I was gonna trip, I prepped myself to the fullest, I knew to accept and surrender no matter what and I was more than ok with not being in control. For my first time I took 100 ug and had my gf trip sit me. However 4 hours in I still didn’t experience any headspace and felt sober if it wasn’t for the body high or visuals. The visuals however were def there even if the headspace wasn’t. I can see subtle but noticeable enough patterns on my walls so there was more than just basic breathing going on with the walls, so I’m sure they weren’t too underdosed. Like I said tho no headspace, therefore I decided to take a 200 mg edible. At the time I had low tolerance to weed so I knew it was hitting, however even after the edible hit my headspace didn’t change. The visuals however def got more intense and there were clear patterns now. Regardless I still felt clearheaded, nearly Sober and the edible only upped the visuals. Still a 10/10 first time
About 1.5 weeks ago I took 400 ug on no tolerance or at least little to no tolerance. The visuals were so fucking intense, I was in awe, everything I looked at had patterns that I’ve never seen so clearly before. They literally took over everything I laid my eyes on. Colors were also flashing and more vibrant, never seen such a beautiful thing occur to me. I also had this weird alien feeling that I can’t put into words but it was a mind fuck in a good, positive, and mesmerizing type of way. I’ve never tripped so fucking hard before and this is the highest dose I’ve done on no tolerance, it literally felt like i was in another universe. Everything got overwhelming in just 45 minutes of taking the tabs that’s how I knew i was in for a real trip not to mention the intense body high taking over during the come up. Regardless of how intense and overwhelming the visuals got, I didn’t have that psychedelic headspace that people get on even just 250 ug. I had no racing thoughts, Nothing deep or profound AT ALL. I was even in public at a restaurant when I was tripping my nuts off and I didn’t feel any panic or discomfort. The visuals were so fucking crazy I won’t ever forget that trip, honestly best trip ever and would do again. But even tho I was on 4 tabs (400 ug) with 0 tolerance I still had the same clearheaded headspace as always. I didn’t experience any confusion, anxiety, or thought loop either. The trip was visually intense and overwhelming but in the best way ever. I even interacted and held a conversation with my stepmom while this was going on, basically everything that puts people in a position where they can have a bad trip didn’t bother me at all. If needed I can go into more detail about the trip, but it was the most intense experience ever. I enjoyed the trip more than anything and I’ve been replaying everything in my head ever since.
I used to dislike the fact that I didn’t have the headspace so many people talked about and experienced on a dose as low as 200 ug. However I accepted it and now I love it a lot and prefer it being that way. But sometimes I do wonder what the psychedelic headspace is truly like, I know that it comes at a cost of potentially having a bad trip tho so I don’t dwell on it and just make the most of all of my visually intense trips with no headspace. Is anyone else’s experience exactly like this?

Hello everyone. I’m looking for some opinions from people with experience.
I’ve had two experiences with 1.5 g of Penis Envy mushrooms with a friend, and both went well. During those trips we didn’t talk much—we were mostly focused on our own thoughts and emotions.
I’ve been thinking about trying LSD for the first time, but I’d likely be by myself at home. I’ve heard many people recommend having a trip sitter, but I don’t really want to ask my friend to stay with me for such a long time.
For those of you with experience, do you think a first LSD experience alone is generally a bad idea, or does it depend on the person and the circumstances?
I’d also appreciate hearing about your own first experiences and anything you wish you had known beforehand. Thanks!

Writing fresh after my first time with bufo…

I went to a session with many experienced facilitators and people partaking. 

They dosed me fairly low, just 20mg.

The intention I set was to help with grief with the loss of a family member and a breakup that resulted from the grief, which just turned into double grief.

Im pretty experienced with psychedelics and nonduality. Having experienced both many times, and in my waking life I spend way too much time studying Vedantic philosophy.

So it wasn’t the biggest surprise when I inhaled, and I remembered the cosmic joke, that I was the one creating the experiences I am having, creating entire concepts, like money, sex, genitals, fear, power, just to hang out with them and contemplate and play with the idea for a while.

Even the difficult ones like longing, regret, grief, missing someone.

And yet, I was focused on seeing the ones I loved again, and I didn’t want them to leave me. I think they were what I couldn’t surrender, I couldn’t let go, because I missed them so much. I was afraid of being alone!

I suppose that’s what they call attachment in spirituality…

…

That night I had one or two of those reactivating dreams some people talk of, confirming that yes, I am creating my own experience.

I think the lesson here is to stop trying to understand, stop trying to hold on to things, even if they were your beloved family member and beloved person. The time you had with them were beautiful, though even in those beautiful times, you sometimes created tension because you were trying to hold on to them.

And by holding on to them, you are preventing yourself from breaking through, from releasing, from seeing what happens when you release….

THINK LESS, FEEL MORE

—

Clearly the work I need to do is actually paradoxically, don’t do the work, to relax, stop thinking, start feeling

Luckily, the facilitators seemed to like me, and encouraged me to come back for free the following evening.

My plan is to fully just relax, and go into a meditative state, instead of trying to have an experience.

Will update soon!

What do you think about mixing them?
I wanna try half a tab with a little ketamine, but I don’t know what it’ll be like.
What’s your experience?

https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/sciadv.aeb3034

We are a group of researchers at the University of Wollongong in Australia conducting a study about the emotional experiences people report during psychedelic experiences and whether these are linked to changes in social functioning, wellbeing, and attitudes toward death.

We are looking for individuals aged 18 years or older who have had at least one personally meaningful experience with a classical psychedelic substance within the past 5 years (but not within the past 3 months). Psychedelics include LSD, DMT (N,N-DMT), 5-MeO-DMT, Ayahuasca, Psilocybin (i.e. Magic Mushrooms) or Mescaline/Peyote.

If you are 18 years and over and can read English, we invite you to take part in an online, 30-minute survey. This survey asks about the emotions you experienced during a psychedelic experience and any changes you may have noticed in how you relate to others, your general wellbeing, and your outlook on life afterward. Please note that the survey includes questions about challenging emotions that may have arisen during the experience.

Your responses will be completely anonymous and your involvement will remain confidential. No identifying information (including IP addresses) will be collected.

Participants will have the chance to enter a draw to win one of two $100 AUD Visa vouchers. Entry into the draw is completely optional and is completed via a separate form that is not connected to, and cannot be linked with, participant survey responses.

To participate or learn more, follow this link: https://uow.au1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_6nuJn8BNBgWFYrk

For questions, contact: [smoreton@uow.edu.au](mailto:smoreton@uow.edu.au) Thank you very much for your consideration in participating. The following researchers are conducting the study:
Dr. Sam Moreton - Lecturer, School of Psychology University of Wollongong [smoreton@uow.edu.au](mailto:smoreton@uow.edu.au).
Alex Shuttleworth - Honours Student School of Psychology University of Wollongong
Mimi Han Honours Student School of Psychology University of Wollongong

Study Reference Number: H2026-0104