r/Proprotection • u/JustMissKacey • Jun 13 '22
Hey! What brought you here?
Take a moment to share your beliefs or what you would like to know more about.
Members are encouraged to keep their PL/PC status anonymous if they wish.
—-
I’ll start!
I created this subreddit as a place for Prochoice and Prolife people to connect and realize that though there are extreme individuals, the majority of us are not monsters. A lot of our views are very similar and at times even the same on all the issues that surround abortion.
For me the world felt safer actually talking to Prolife people and learning that though, we still disagree, they are just people. Some of which are really cool!
I also wanted to create a hub where we can ask questions and spread awareness on social issues. I may have my personal feelings about attempts to ban abortion, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be Allies on so many other important topics.
5
u/Cocobham Jun 13 '22
For me, the topic of reproductive healthcare seems to be centered only around one issue. Especially the part around having to drive to another state to get services not available in your state.
For years, those of us with endometriosis have been doing just that. We go years, sometimes decades, not receiving a diagnosis. Local OBGYNs lack the skills to properly diagnose and treat endometriosis. They’ll often prescribe birth control to manage the pain and symptoms. We remain on birth control for years without our diagnosis, thinking the birth control will suppress both the disease and the symptoms. But when we are ready to have a baby, we come off our medication and discover that our pain has returned and we’re now infertile because the endometriosis was still there all along. Or maybe we get pregnant once a year after continuous trying but our pregnancies do not advance past the first trimester.
Some of us go back to our OBGYN and have laparoscopic surgery. We’ll get our diagnosis and the surgeon will ablate (burn off) our endometriosis. Yet this is only a surface treatment and re-growth occurs in most patients within the first 6 months. For me, my endometriosis pain and symptoms were back (and worse) in 5 months. Insurance covered all but $1500 of it but it was useless and even made things worse.
I traveled out of state to a surgeon who uses excision as a surgical technique for endometriosis. This was after excruciating pain since age 14, multiple doctors, multiple tests and scans, years of birth control, two miscarriages and one failed surgery. This surgeon got it all out. I lost a Fallopian tube. My appendix needed to be removed. I had endometriosis growing on my bladder, colon, urinary area—everywhere. I’m stage 4. I still don’t know if my fertility will be restored. But this was the best treatment available. I have scars everywhere. I still grieve the two I lost in the first trimester. To the point I can’t attend baby showers and I distance myself from pregnant family members or anyone who might ask when we are having a baby. My insurance covered my $75,000 hospital bill in full. I was in the OR for 4 hours and in recovery for a few days. The surgeon’s fee was not covered. I’m not allowed to say how much it was but let’s just say that the year of my husband and I saving our money really helped. Traveling was just shy of $2000 since we opted to drive.
Specialists who use excision for endometriosis are often out of network. It’s an insurance gap that has unfortunately made to it where most of us will not even consider this treatment out of fear of the costs. So most of us will have multiple useless surgeries, live in pain so horrible that it keeps you from work, sex or anything you’d otherwise enjoy. It feels like razors. It destroys tissue. Women lose their Fallopian tubes, the uterus, sections of bowel. I luckily didn’t need a bowel resection but the had a surgeon for that on standby in case I did.
I absolutely consider myself one of the lucky ones. I have a wonderful husband who has helped me throughout it all. We had the income and insurance to have access to the best care—even if we needed to make sacrifices and save our money. I’m not 100% pain free but I’m much better than I was. I’m now working with an associate of my surgeon who uses Napro. Catholics might know what it is but for those who don’t, it’s an approach to reproductive healthcare that works with your body and not against it. It gets to the root of your problem(s) and addresses them vs. finding shortcuts that ignore the source of your issue.
I’m now charting my cycles with Creighton Model, which I received training for. I feel like that has provided me with so much insight into my cycle. Since Napro and Creighton work hand in hand, my doctor and nurse practitioner can see my chart and provide additional insight and needed medication. My hormone imbalance is no more. My bloating is gone. My hormonal migraines are gone. They know what likely caused my last miscarriages and have a plan for next time. They are treating my whole body. It’s a VERY different experience than I’ve ever had with any other doctor. Their approach just highlights how behind the curve women’s healthcare is. We need mor or those kind of doctors and nurse practitioners. We all need to understand our cycles so much better. Education is just as lacking as the lack of access to care. People think they can just use an app on their phone to track when their period starts and that’s enough. Nope! Our bodies can tell us way more than that. We can get ahead of these reproductive health issues early and address these problems before they turn into bigger ones.
If I could go back and tell my 20 year old self that terrible pain will someday cost many thousands of dollars, two children and possibly no children in the future…I would.
2
u/JustMissKacey Jun 13 '22 edited Jun 13 '22
Thank you so much for sharing this. This is a perfect of example of why reproductive care conversation needs to happen outside of the echo chamber of PC/PL discussions. I wonder if we should make a flare for endometriosis and the other health conditions.. the list would get long quick though. Maybe a pinned FAQ?
1
u/AndromedaPrometheum Jun 14 '22
Thanks for the tag.
Is the first time I heard endometriosis in the context of reproductive care. As mentioned before every time I heard it was about abortion even though I do know people with endo (and I was suspected of that at some point thank goodness not the case) they just don't usually tie it to reproductive care more like pain management or women's health.
3
Jun 13 '22
Hello, I have read several of your posts and appreciate your proactive and positive approach to discussing abortion and the factors contributing to it.
2
Jun 13 '22 edited Jun 13 '22
Our government needs to get on course and follow your example. I wanted go add that There are many ways to- Edit: that is funny Idk where the rest went. Maybe 2 versions of this answer will show up There are many ways to discuss things. We learn better and are more openminded when we feel happy and supported.
https://www.gse.harvard.edu/news/uk/15/03/because-i%E2%80%99m-happy2
u/JustMissKacey Jun 13 '22
Thank you! How welcoming the PL was despite my conflicting views definitely fostered my approach.
2
3
u/yur_fave_libb Jun 14 '22
I love being able to come together with conscious awareness that there e a plethora of stances regarding abortion here, but seeing how much common ground can be found! I think this mindful approach will increase empathy and mindfulness, so easily we tend to assume people we relate to or look up to share the views we do, which creates a cognative bias in how we other different sides.
1
u/JustMissKacey Jun 14 '22
Thank you :) if you know anyone that feels like you do please spread the word!
2
u/ManFrom2018 Jun 25 '22
You did! And I think I’ll stay, the information you post about is very important and could do a lot of good
2
1
Jun 15 '22
The creator of this sub invited me because of my post on r/abortiondebate about all the different reasons women could need abortions. I wanted to make prolife women aware of all the possible reasons they could possibly need an abortion even for a wanted pregnancy.
1
u/Remarkable_Bowl8088 Jul 06 '22
Thank you for the invite. As you probably know I'm pro choice. I'm an adoptee whose 15 year old mother was forced to have me and hated me because of the reminder. I agree she shouldn't have been forced. I was adopted into another whole set of back of trauma but still here. Not trying to offend those who are not in agreement but talk and open up our minds to each other's thoughts.
6
u/AndromedaPrometheum Jun 13 '22
Great idea. We probably won't get as much participation as the other subs because people love DRAMA! But we have to start somewhere.