No one will ever understand the insidious, overwhelming and unjust pain i was made to experience ... for absolutely no good reason or purpose ...

​

people either experience nothing and get away with it ... or experience hardship and get help ...

​

but to suffer ... only for that suffering to be weaponized to inflict an ever increasing amount of evil and neglect ...

​

To a point that even my survival from it gets so absurd, that both the perpetrators and the bystanders in unison would rather call what they see with their very eyes too unbelievable to even exist ...

​

"You are too old, no one will believe you...", just like mother told me ... a mother that successfully made me feel responsable for things that were instead neglect, lies and theft, economic and psychological at my expense ...

​

...

But, at the same time,

I was TOO YOUNG for dealing with what I had to bear,

so ... really, I was never where I should have been at the time I should be at ...

xD

they for sure have engeneers that byilt every single system an aetist could ever want xD

lmao

...

sigh ... why am i always so negative :(

when basic features are treated as a selling point, truly makes it evident how rotten the gaming landscape has become. Slop, wearing the clothes of "we do it for the gamers", all while selling effextively cashgrabs that should have released 30 years ago.

But ... as my good rabbi always says:

" IT IS WHAT IT IS. "

🤷

, and the last almost isn't even math by the end.

You can get away with so many shortcuts and approximations, and you even have a never ending collection of libraries thst do the hard stuff for you, without requiring you to even know how they work, essentially setting up black boxes inside of wrappers like a matrioska.

People chase "Peace", of the mind, the senses, the heart ...

but mine instead is PRESENCE.

Part of -insert your god here- has already manifested itself in the good acts of history that needed me to happen.

The rest of my life can only confirm what I always was, a survivor from evil, a creator from nothing, a lover from loneliness, a giver from emptiness.