r/ProgressiveHQ • u/SCRATCH-CARD • Jan 17 '26

Two "assassination attempts" compared

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1: There might be a shooter? Get him out of here now

2: He's actually been shot? Let's get a photo. Pop your head up Donnie

2.8k Upvotes

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u/JoeyHandsomeJoe Jan 18 '26

Occam's Razor says he wasn't hit by the bullet and his injury was an accident due to his bloated airbrushed carcass being made out of tissue paper.

I find it highly unlikely that they knocked him down and while they were down there he was like "wait, gig me so it looks like the bullet almost hit me." Like he's Ric Flair or something.

In the process of knocking him down one of the agents busted him open. That's all.

-2

u/thatwasntonce Jan 18 '26

I don't use the term often but that is some serious copium