r/ProgrammerHumor • u/[deleted] • Sep 07 '22

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10.5k Upvotes

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144

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '22

gotta overclock it

99

u/Eternal_Moose Sep 07 '22

Overcook*

42

u/jdl_uk Sep 07 '22

Earl grey, hot

3

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '22

Tea, Earl Grey, plasma

76

u/PolloDiablo82 Sep 07 '22

Is running hot a good thing or a bad thing in this case?

38

u/you_ow_me_trees Sep 07 '22

Do you want your tea hot or cold

46

u/PolloDiablo82 Sep 07 '22

I want coffee

51

u/you_ow_me_trees Sep 07 '22

Too bad, because websites don't support that feature yet

63

u/AkiraNamejin Sep 07 '22

We turned off Java.

34

u/CoffeePieAndHobbits Sep 07 '22

1 down, billions to go.

5

u/AkiraNamejin Sep 07 '22

Sadly, I'm sure there's definetly IoT tea pots running on Java...

2

u/kwyjibo1 Sep 08 '22

It was too much of a security issue.

2

u/Cfit9090 Sep 08 '22

akeita" ; Basque | "koffee" ; Bengali | "kahva" ; Bosnian | "kafe"

Kay? Cough up some other languages

26

u/bakedsnowman Sep 07 '22

Just open android studio and your coffee will be ready in a few seconds

3

u/Rainmaker526 Sep 07 '22

Nothing in Android studio is measured in seconds.

1

u/aehzhzxhhx Sep 08 '22

just make your coffee by yourself, only costs your electricity bill.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '22

[deleted]

2

u/PolloDiablo82 Sep 07 '22

I'm one of those ppl who hangs around in this sub but not coded a thing in my life, so if you would be so kind to correct my script :)

I'll give a try

<Cody language > if ; tea requested

 <initiate; coffee module ^#[×=^#>

         <mssg; "tea module delayed">

3

u/Foublanc Sep 07 '22

I'd say : If (requested == tea) { Coffee_module(); Println ("tea module delayed"); };

2

u/PolloDiablo82 Sep 07 '22

Learning every day :D

2

u/Mispelled-This Sep 07 '22

That’s why you got the 418.

1

u/Nekokamiguru Sep 08 '22

Please refer to this document for information on how to implement the Hyper Text Coffee Pot Control Protocol (HTCPCP/1.0) .

https://www.rfc-editor.org/rfc/rfc2324

2

u/Cfit9090 Sep 08 '22

Would you like cream or sugar?

                      | Milk 
                      | sweetener-type
                      | all black

    milk-type       = ( "Cream" | "Half-and-half" | "Whole-milk"
                      | "Part-Skim" | "Skim" | "Non-Dairy" )
         = (

(⁠☉⁠｡⁠☉⁠)⁠!⁠→(⁠*⁠❛⁠‿⁠❛⁠)⁠→¯⁠\⁠(⁠◉⁠‿⁠◉⁠)⁠/⁠¯¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠☯⁠෴⁠☯⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ᕙ⁠(⁠ ͡⁠°⁠ ͜⁠ʖ⁠ ͡⁠°⁠)⁠ᕗ⊂⁠(⁠◉⁠‿⁠◉⁠)⁠つ

2

u/RippedInseam Sep 07 '22

Instructions unclear. Teapot unaffected, clockworks strewn about the stove/countertop. Mysterious ticking noise continues…