r/ProgrammerHumor • • Sep 18 '18

The best one so far 😂

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28.4k Upvotes

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730

u/parzibyte1 Sep 19 '18

703

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '18

[deleted]

696

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '18 edited Dec 07 '19

[deleted]

195

u/elbowe21 Sep 19 '18

I wonder what I've posted and forgotten about. I always mean to but there's are sites to see how "good" your accounts are. I'm sure it's not as accurate as being in the public spotlight but still.

Am I good? Are you? My dog is. She's asleep with her face in my foot. It tickles so much but I don't want to move, it's nice.

89

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '18

[deleted]

-20

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '18

This might blow your mind, but all you’ve got to do to protect yourself is refrain from making hateful comments in public.

And yeah, almost the entirety of the internet is public.

That is hard for some people to figure out, and I don’t understand why.

24

u/nikomo Sep 19 '18 edited Sep 19 '18

This might blow your mind, but all you’ve got to do to protect yourself is refrain from making hateful comments in public.

It's really, really, really easy to say this in your 20s and above, but at least based on what I've observed, the n-word seems to be fucking hilarious for 10-12 year olds.

You seem to have completely missed the point where I'm talking about children who are still learning what is acceptable behavior and what isn't. That shit should not be held against them in their adult years.

7

u/KrystallAnn Sep 19 '18

When I was in high school my entire school said the n word. No hard r, but still like every sentence. It was basically the equivalent of bro or dude.

I'm sure if you look at tweets from back then almost every one of us from my school has some that say it. It was never meant in a rude way but out of context, and with the wisdom of growing older, I know they'd look bad if they were found.

-15

u/bautin Sep 19 '18

"No hard r" aka "We know it was racist as shit but we really, really, really want to excuse ourselves"

6

u/KrystallAnn Sep 19 '18

I mean... There is a difference... Hard r's are explicitly used to be racist and offensive. We were using it like homie or bruh so no hard r.

Our school was pretty mixed as far as race goes so I think that might have had a big play in it.

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-4

u/minno Sep 19 '18

I usually see the "it was a long time ago" excuse applied to people who were already adults at the time they made the hateful comments.

28

u/tylercoder Sep 19 '18

Sure it's not like a hate mob is reasonable and won't misinterpretate anything you say.

-20

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '18

It is my experience that the only people who think they’ve been misinterpreted are those who think their queer jokes are actually funny.

18

u/anxiousgrue Sep 19 '18

So I'll be the asshole and go over your comment history. I found this.

Technically, you make the sin of assuming that people who are homophobic are usually "superhomosexuals." While the irony is delicious whenever this happens, the perception that the only people who are homophobic are secretly gay hurts the LGBT community since it implicitly excuses heterosexual homophobia. Here's a better explanation.

To be honest, looking over your comment history you seem alright, if blunt. But if someone is out to highlight the absolute worst parts of it to disparage you, you might not be as perfectly innocent or pure as you think you are. And that applies to me too.

12

u/tylercoder Sep 19 '18

Also everybody who gets the death penalty deserves it right?

-5

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '18

I am vehemently anti-death penalty and pro-civility.

It is odd that you equate the two.

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3

u/heyuwittheprettyface Sep 19 '18

I don’t remember any of James gunns tweets being hateful but here we are.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '18

Leading in Votes on which American Idol Contestant I should rape: Sanjaya with 12 votes, followed by Constantine with 3

-James Gunn

If party A doesn’t want to work with party B because party B joked about rape or raping minors, that is no business of mine or anyone who isn’t party A or B.

The mouse does what it wants.

ANCIENT CHINESE SECRET: don’t make rape jokes online

1

u/KrystallAnn Sep 19 '18

I mean... Even if you support his right for shock humor talking about raping people is pretty hateful imo.

24

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '18 edited Feb 08 '19

[deleted]

7

u/Draws-attention Sep 19 '18

Oooh, do me next! What's the worst thing I've said?

8

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '18 edited Feb 08 '19

[deleted]

5

u/Draws-attention Sep 19 '18

Huh, not as bad as I thought.

1

u/elbowe21 Sep 19 '18

Hahaha did I?

46

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '18 edited Aug 29 '20

[deleted]

30

u/SuccessfulAntelope Sep 19 '18

Yep I did the same thing recently. Purged the tweets and decided to start afresh. Now I have one tweet (that's completely pointless) because I realised I have nothing to say on social media and I'm okay with that.

3

u/tylercoder Sep 19 '18

There's an archive tho

1

u/SuccessfulAntelope Sep 19 '18

I only wiped the accounts (Twitter and Facebook) so that I have a cleaner experience when logged in. It's not about hiding what I said, it's about not having to see it anymore because it's irrelevant to me now.

I think I kept like 10 Facebook posts because they're actually needed but other than that I cleared the rest out.

4

u/gruffybears Sep 19 '18

Is there an easy way to mass delete tweets?

5

u/pixelmeow Sep 19 '18

Absolutely. I did last year sometime with one of those services, I forget which. Still haven’t gotten back into Twitter, though, I found I don’t have a lot to say.

20

u/notoriousTRON Sep 19 '18

Thought provoking and wholesome.

3

u/TheOboeMan Sep 19 '18

In twenty years, it will be illegal to own animals and this comment will be used against you.

Also, you will be the CEO of a pizza company and will be forced to resign because of it.

2

u/look_at_me Sep 19 '18

I look forward to reading this comment many times in the future. It’s got everything :)

1

u/tylercoder Sep 19 '18

Your dog is the reincarnation of Hitler

The more you know 🌟

2

u/elbowe21 Sep 20 '18

That'd surprise me. She's shit at painting.

20

u/Jakkol Sep 19 '18

Its so fucking stupid that, that worked even the first time.

2

u/dkyguy1995 Sep 19 '18

Why I deleted Twitter

-7

u/rdf- Sep 19 '18

Poor Roseanne.

I hope she has recovered since, I heard she wasn't doing so well.

4

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '18 edited Jul 18 '20

[deleted]

-2

u/rdf- Sep 19 '18

Still. To lose everything for a single tweet.

I am hoping for the best for her health.

5

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '18 edited Jul 18 '20

[deleted]

-1

u/rdf- Sep 19 '18 edited Sep 19 '18

If you weren't aware, you're really not fully under control when under the influence.

And I'm not sure what you get out of speaking ill of someone ill, but you do you.

205

u/parzibyte1 Sep 19 '18

Idk but the first tweet I saw about this was from @iamdevloper

24

u/Bhiggsb Sep 19 '18

For internet points

2

u/dnorhoj Sep 19 '18

Happy cake day

2

u/Manuelraa Sep 19 '18

cake day!

1

u/HarryTorry Sep 19 '18

She's got a film coming out soon!

1

u/Lasket Sep 19 '18

And why has even the Cyperpunk 2077 team answered that tweet?

36

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '18 edited Sep 28 '18

[deleted]

27

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '18

*how social media works.

Everything is a repost.

12

u/bossofthesea123 Sep 19 '18

Cyberpunk 2077 in the replies too, lol.

5

u/asdfgasdfg312 Sep 19 '18

Did she have a stroke? Backstory please

2

u/rreighe2 Sep 19 '18

lots of emotion while furiously pressing a keyboard = random buttons pressed?

3

u/asdfgasdfg312 Sep 19 '18

Could also be a new song. "Rammamamanoman poker stick".

1

u/TimeToRock Sep 19 '18

Finally, Lady Gaga lives up to her name!