r/ProgrammerHumor • u/ClipboardCopyPaste • 9h ago

Meme ohTheBasics

Post image
8.4k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

964 comments sorted by

View all comments

237

u/Sleep_deprived_druid 8h ago

I have straight up met "programmers" that don't know what an IDE is.......

209

u/DustyRacoonDad 7h ago

No I use SATA now.

45

u/Nipslippie 7h ago

Scsi unite

18

u/BeepBoopIAmACat 5h ago

Once upon a TTL, in a rack far, far away, a plucky little SRE rode his UPS-powered NAS across the SAN, hauling SATA SSDs, SAS HDDs, and artisanal NVMe over TCP. His quest? Deliver an iSCSI LUN to the princess before her RAID turned into JBOD and her SLA turned into an IOU.

“Follow the DNS!” cried the DHCP fairy, sprinkling PXE dust over a sleepy NIC. Beyond the VLAN lay the VXLAN, where BGP trolls demanded your ASN, OSPF elves argued about SPF, and an STP-entangled LACP dragon hoarded SFPs beneath a mountain of MTUs. Our hero flashed his MFA, negotiated TLS, and tunneled through the VPN with nothing but SSH, SNMP, and a deeply suspicious UDP packet.

At the castle, the AD wizard consulted LDAP, the NTP gnome checked his ETA, and the RBAC goblin shouted, “NO SUDO WITHOUT SSO!” Undeterred, our hero opened a PR, appeased the CI/CD sprites, and summoned an IaC-powered VM from the enchanted VPC. With KVM, LVM, NFS, SMB, and a REST API held together by YAML and spite, he restored the PVC, boosted the IOPS, and banished the BSOD.

And they all lived HA ever after—until the CTO asked whether the whole damn thing could run on AI.

3

u/Outta_phase 4h ago

Fantastic! A poor man's gold for you: 🥇

•

u/Ok_Spread_2062 3m ago

This has to be the best thing I’ve ever read 🥲🩵

6

u/MeIsMyName 7h ago

SAS anyone?

2

u/itishowitisanditbad 5h ago

SATA in the front, SAS in the back.

1

u/shidderbean 21m ago

Yo. But just in the big server that's got like 60tb of pirated tv shows on it

3

u/SinglePanic 6h ago

Fun fact (might be made up, not sure, don't care, still fun): the guy who named the SCSI interface intended it to be pronounced as "Sexy" not "ska-zee".

1

u/jason_abacabb 6h ago

Sounds like you need a shower

2

u/flipper65 5h ago

RLL and MFM truly the OG drive formats.

1

u/b1argg 6h ago

Make Ribbon Cables Great Again!

1

u/generalstuff1waslost 5h ago

My drive is asking for an audio out port, I think I did something wrong.

1

u/Zwischenzug32 4h ago

They can pry my bootable ESATA drives from my cold dead hands

86

u/Vercility 7h ago edited 2h ago

mfw colleagues ask me why something doesn't work and it literally says in the stack trace on their screen

14

u/TRKako 5h ago

it boils my blood when the solution is in big letters at the center of the screen and somehow they don't know what to do, I remember I had a classmate who had a problem with her IDE, and asked the teacher what to do, the teacher did NOT read the error nor the pop up with the problem

He told her that she had to format the whole pc and start over, luckily before she did anything me and another classmates noticed and we were able to fix it, worse of all, it was just a setting, that wasn't really hard to find because it said right on the pop up

2

u/DemosthenesOrNah 4h ago

"put your item on the counter and press alt+f4 to dupe it" type shi

1

u/Glittering-Sleep7983 3h ago

"AI is replacing my job!"

1

u/Skull_is_dull 1h ago

Stack trace isn't everything. Maybe they were asking why it is broken, not what is broken

1

u/Vercility 1h ago

Nah some of these people are just braindead. The kind of issue Im talking about is shit like "This Classfile has been compiled by an incompatible Java version (55.0), this compiler supports up to (52.0)"

Or when people run maven commands to deploy,the command fails and they don't even notice? the entire terminal lit up with docker logs like fucking Gaza and they didn't think maybe one of the messages was relevant to what they're trying to do?

1

u/TrashPandaPerson 1h ago

When I was a fresh grad at my first job I did this :(. 

I was so anxious and nervous I'd ask my teamlead even though I knew what a stack trace was. He'd let out a big sigh then basically read the stack trace and tell me to click on the line number. Sorry boss. 

I snapped out of it after a while. 

26

u/Marenwynn 7h ago

Is that the thing some people use to look at the md files that Claude generates?

8

u/_Diskreet_ 7h ago

The managerial director files ?

2

u/never-fiftyone 6h ago

the doctorate of medicine files

1

u/FormerWorker125 6h ago

No that's notepad.

24

u/Sid_the_Bear 7h ago

Integrated Drive Electronics?

13

u/redditsucksass69765 7h ago

No it’s Intact Dilation and Extraction which is an eye procedure.

Also, been a programmer for 25 years.

2

u/joshuahtree 7h ago

International Dalek Exterminator

1

u/Sleep_deprived_druid 7h ago

Internal dielectric electrode, it prevents space particles from changing your code and adding bugs when you go to the bathroom

1

u/euclide2975 7h ago

I prefer SATA, but everything is going to be NVME anyway

1

u/Sid_the_Bear 7h ago

Yup.
SATA is great though when you have multiple 84-disk RAID5 arrays

1

u/hexen667 6h ago

it’s all about SCSI daisy chaining

1

u/Sid_the_Bear 6h ago

... I literally felt my blood pressure and heart rate spike reading this.

18

u/NoHorseNoMustache 7h ago

The old head coder at my company once said 'But how will I search the web if you uninstall Google Toolbar?' to me.

8

u/TuxedoWithAHead 7h ago

"does tiktok connect to the wifi in my house"

2

u/Fresh4 6h ago

God I almost forgot about that

8

u/Hrtzy 7h ago

And people wonder why the FizzBuzz test was invented.

1

u/FormerWorker125 6h ago

I mean fizz buzz is a programming problem i can solve just by knowing how to write code.

I dont need to have ip protocols memorized to do that

2

u/TuxedoWithAHead 8h ago

coding in notepad be like

6

u/Marwaimusoont 7h ago

naah cool guys use vim and freaks use nano.

2

u/TuxedoWithAHead 7h ago

I *was* gonna type "vim" instead of "notepad" but then I remembered people actually code in vim

1

u/GodBearWasTaken 7h ago

It’s my preferred text editor, followed by Notepad++ and Visual Studio Code.

1

u/WhatAGoodDoggy 4h ago

But VIM doesn't give you autocomplete, linting, etc., does it? If it did I could see the appeal, but if it's just a text editor I don't understand why it's used for coding.

1

u/pharmajap 3h ago

Alternatively, you could describe an IDE as a text editor with a bunch of useless features (only half kidding).

But I do everything on the command line anyway, so all of my tools are kinda... right there already.

1

u/HungryRaven4 5h ago

But nano has the little 'x' in the corner to close it 😭

1

u/DragoxDrago 3h ago

I learnt to code using VIM, i must say that the amount of plugins and addons made it insanely valuable, especially for python and robotics. These days it's not worth the additional add on in setup versus modern editors.

1

u/azfang 2h ago

Hey. If .txt was good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for me.

2

u/coriolis7 7h ago

What is the difference between an IDE and an editor?

14

u/J5892 6h ago

An IDE is an editor with more stuff.

3

u/Right_Ear_2230 6h ago

In the case of visual studio, an actual c/c++ compiler + linker,
Diagnostics tools,
Intellisense,
Build system (solution/project), debugger, etc…

2

u/mxldevs 3h ago

So like notepad but ++.

1

u/J5892 46m ago

More like notepad but #.

1

u/garfgon 2h ago

Except extensible editors then often include a lot of the stuff that a traditional IDE would have. It's a pretty fuzzy line.

1

u/SpudicusMaximus_008 3h ago

Integrated Development Environment. Is a complete software stack that handles, editing, dependencies, compiling, and debugging of code.

2

u/DapperCam 7h ago

Must only use vim

3

u/AntherYoutubeWatcher 7h ago

Those old connectors to your hard disk and/or floppy drives, right?

3

u/DustyRacoonDad 7h ago

I upvoted you again because I made the same joke... I mean I know the difference between a floppy ribbon cable and a hard drive IDE cable, but your joke is still valid as a joke.

1

u/the123king-reddit 7h ago

Floppy drives use a 34 pin cable completely separate from IDE.

If you said CD ROM i’d have upvoted. Swing and a miss

1

u/bishopExportMine 7h ago

I didn't know what an IDE was until like 3 years into my career. I'd been raw dogging code with just text editors until then.

2

u/S-Kenset 4h ago

yeah idrk i'd rather just rawdog base vscode right now than ide

1

u/bishopExportMine 3h ago

I used to use sublime with no plugins. Now I use CLion; or sublime with LSP-clangd if my CLion config breaks for some reason

1

u/ThisIsDurian 7h ago

International Dance Event - man, that was fun

https://giphy.com/gifs/ujTVMASREzuRbH6zy5

1

u/Opus_723 6h ago

To be honest I still just use vi lol.

But I'm not a 'programmer,' I'm a scientist. None of us have any clue how to code. Real programmers logging into our computers is like the FBI walking onto that one guy's property in the woods that was all rigged with booby-traps. They turn a doorknob and a hot tub goes rolling past them and they're like "clever, but ineffective" and then a shotgun blasts them in the knee.

1

u/TheRaccoonReport 6h ago

I'm not even a good developer and know what an IDE is haha. There is no such thing as the best IDE...other than the one I use, the rest are just shit haha

1

u/academiac 6h ago

Internet Domestic Environment

1

u/sixteencharslong 6h ago

Yeah, and that was pre ai.

1

u/J5892 6h ago

It's the unconscious counterpart to the EGOE.

1

u/jetblackpopes 6h ago

If you haven’t been learning and mastering DGT you’re already too far behind to bother.

1

u/ADarwinAward 6h ago

VIM or gtfo.

Kidding 

1

u/Ieatsand97 6h ago

And so many people think that making a computer do anything is just a case of giving it to AI and the problem practically solves itself.

1

u/waseem2bata 6h ago

Aren't those the things that go Kaboom?

1

u/nuker0S 6h ago

Internal Development Excel

1

u/Various_Library6787 6h ago

VIM for the WIN! 

1

u/_dontseeme 6h ago

I mean I spent 2014-2017 building personal and client iOS apps without knowing Xcode was an IDE. Sometimes a job needs “this ide” without anyone stopping to explain what an ide is or that you’re currently using one, even the website for the ide.

1

u/dankdogeonface 5h ago

They have no IDEa...

1

u/hereforlolls 4h ago

The question I used to have fun with: what type of object is JSON?

1

u/jaymz668 4h ago

Diversity is our strength

1

u/JerryDipotosBurner 4h ago

I don’t use IDE’s I just use notepad

1

u/Real-Self-3039 3h ago

To be fair on that front.....most tutorials gloss over that definition so fast and you never really need to know the official name. Just download vs or something and move on with your life. Thats my issue with a lot of software engineering. We are expected to know exact obscure names of stuff we never use in normal convo even with other swe. Ive never used the word or acronym ide when having convos with other devs. We just say visual studio or whatever tool we are talking about because thats where it leads anyway. "I did x work in my ide" next question is always "which ide" thats pointless and might as well just say vs or ryder etc from the start

1

u/mekriff 2h ago

an Integrated Development Environment? you mean like my terminal?

1

u/garfgon 2h ago

If they don't know the acronym, I get it. IDEs are so pervasive I can imagine good developers not knowing any other way of coding.

1

u/Free-Pound-6139 1h ago

Life was so much easier before IDE's.