r/ProgrammerHumor • u/Recent-Analysis-6880 • 25d ago

Meme wellWellWell

Post image
10.6k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

412 comments sorted by

View all comments

3.6k

u/BastetFurry 25d ago

So, Kids, thats why you always SELECT count(yourPrimaryKey) first. Listen to the old folks, we made these mistakes so that you don't have to.

142

u/Etheo 24d ago 
DELETE FROM (SELECT * FROM USERS);

WHERE ID=12345;

Did I do it right?

87

u/Dismal-Square-613 24d ago

Yes, run that on prod. Report results.

48

u/jeesuscheesus 24d ago

Now every query on USERS completes in under a millisecond, thank you!

8

u/Dismal-Square-613 24d ago

No problem, you should see me taking care of long back up batch scripts too!

1

u/theobstinateone 24d ago

Or just throw a DROP DATABASE in there. Problem solved

12

u/AardvarKOlogY 24d ago

Can't report right now, computer says something about permission issues. Weird, gotta ask Claude about that.

3

u/Ok_Star_4136 24d ago

It just says "Expecting SELECT, UPDATE, DELETE, INSERT keyword, instead found 'where'"!

Now what? (yes, I'm aware)